A4P Guest: My husband doesn’t pursue me for intimacy. I told him about Viagra but he is not willing to go to see his doctor. I tried to seek counseling from our church ministers but the thing is our church ministers blame me for everything, so I don’t want to go to them. What do I need to do for my husband to pursue me again for intimacy? He is not interested in sex anymore.
A4P: What do you mean your church ministers blame you for everything? Are they saying that you are the reason for your husband’s loss of interest for intimacy?
A4P Guest: Yes! They always say that I control and dominate my husband.
A4P: Do you?
A4P Guest: I naturally talk a lot. That is all.
A4P: I naturally talk a lot too; but I neither control nor dominate my husband. Do you?
A4P Guest: Look, I’m not here for you to diagnose me; but for you to tell me what I need to do in the situation I’m in right now.
A4P: Wonderful! So, this is what I believe you need to do in a situation you are in right now:
First, know what submission is all about. There is more at stake than we may know, think and imagine at the command of the Word of God including the one that says, “Wives, submit yourself to your own husbands as you do to the Lord,” (Ephesians 5:22) – For example: Do you know that it’s been proven in study that most men (not all but most) who struggle with sexual dysfunction have a wife who dominates and bosses them around? Yeah, so, when the Word of God says, “Submit,” it ain’t joking. If you disobey this command (or any command of the Word of God), you may need to deal with lots of issues such as the one you are dealing with right now. Second, if you read books, I recommend that you sit and read “Sacred Influence” by Gary Thomas. It is a book that changed my spiritual life as a woman and my role as a wife. I know, the author of this book is a man but he is not just a man, but a spirit-led and godly man. And, third, I don’t think your husband is a candidate for Viagra. Rather, I believe your husband is a candidate for a loving wife, a wife who takes her time to listen to his silences without badgering him with words, and a wife who gives him space, respects and honors him no matter what kind of season of life he might be going through.
So, in a nutshell, this is what I’m trying to tell you: Change yourself before you strive to change your husband and his situation. Hope this helps. ///
P. S. There are many reasons men/women may lose interest for sex; including depression, anxiety, stress, middle age crisis/menopause, unconfessed/hidden sexual sins (confession not made to God and others – James 5:16, Proverbs 28:13), side-effects of medications, sexual addictions, dominate woman/unloving husband, so on and so forth.