A wife has to be wise when she rejects her husband’s sexual advances.
Healthy and good communication is key here! If a couple has good communication, a wife can wisely tell her husband her reasons why she doesn’t want sex for that specific day.
However, if a husband is mentally, emotionally and physically abusing his wife, he shouldn’t expect any positive response from her because sex is something a wife can’t welcome in the presence of abuse. The abuse has to first stop because where there is any form of abuse, not only the sex but the marriage itself can’t thrive. If there is any form of abuse in the marriage or unresolved conflicts, the couple has to seek counseling from their own local church marriage counselors, ministers and pastors.
If there is no abuse in the marriage, rejecting husband’s sexual advances can be a very risky business that can be the cause for the disintegration of a beautiful marriage. That is why the Bible says:
“Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:5)
Here, “Do not deprive each other” is not a suggestion but a command and disobeying this command can rob us of our joy and fulfillment in our lives and marriages. ///
P.S. Make Note: This same biblical principle applies to where a husband rejects his wife’s sexual advances; however that is not a commonly seen problem.
“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.”(James 1:26)
A tight rein on the tongue shows a tight love of Christ in the heart. Without Christ’s love taking over the heart, the tongue becomes a venomous snake, “- – – a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” James 3:6 ///
The one problem in marriage is a husband thinking that his wife is created like him; and a wife thinking that her husband is created like her. But according to the Bible, God created them male and female; means they are two different creatures especially in the department of sex.
This is a clip from “For Married Couples’ only” conference/seminar in Calgary, Canada. ///
A4P Guest: You said there is no snow in heaven. But what is your evidence for you to say that? (A question that was dropped off on one of yesterday’s posts)
A4P: Scripture says: “The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.” (Revelation 21:23).
That means there is no change of season, the sun doesn’t need to go around the new city or the city around the sun. The Lamb is the Sun, the Light who brightens up the city forever and ever. No season change, no summer and winter; no rain and snow. It is just a kind of weather that is yet to be revealed. I can’t even give example about the kind of weather that is going to be because I have no idea.
Continue reading Snow in Heaven?
The health of a marriage depends on how a couple deals with their marital conflicts. In reality, every married couple deals with conflicts here and there and the presence of a conflict doesn’t indicate that the marriage is an unhealthy one. Rather the presence of the following four ways of dealing with conflicts may show that the marriage is an unhealthy one:
Exchanging disrespectful words; (name calling); Continue reading Four Symptoms of an Unhealthy Marriage
Worth Living With Him?
A4P Guest: I have one short quick question; I have no love for my husband. Is it worth living with him without me having any feeling for him?
A4P: My friend, the Bible never says, “If you love your husband, live with him; but if you don’t feel any love towards him, it is not worth living with him; divorce him.” Continue reading
It is easy to teach or sit and listen to the message of biblical sexual purity. But living out the message is a completely different ball game. Taking into consideration our own natural sinful bend and all the hidden and unexpected curves and turns of life, we sometimes get tempted to say, “Forget it! This is not for me; maybe it is written only for few but not for me.”
But the Word of God is given to us who are “new creatures” in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17); to us who are sharing God’s divine nature (2 Peter 1:3-4), to us who are the temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). Continue reading Wow! It is true that – – –
I usually check our mailbox at the end of the day. I bring all those mails (including junk mails) and put them in the kitchen island table. I always look through them to see if I have any mail and leave the rest for the rest of the Banko’s to check and take theirs.
I love those magazines which always come with the mail with 15% and 25% off coupons. I clip those coupons and put them in my purse to use them if and when I stop by at the mall. I sometimes do my “window shopping” in my kitchen flipping through those magazines. I sometimes don’t find time to see them all; so I put them aside for later time.
Then one day, while we were preparing to eat dinner, my Berhan (my husband) collected all those magazines and handed them to me and said, “Missy, it is okay for you to look through these magazines but not for us men including my boys. We struggle to bounce back our eyes from the lingerie sections. Our nature is completely different from yours. Can you help us so that we won’t be tempted in our own home? Can you put those magazines in the trash before we get to them?” Continue reading Pursuing Purity as a Team
A4P Guest: Do you watch PG-13 movies? I ask because I read your reply to one of the comments on your post a couple days ago. I thought you don’t watch movies, do you?
A4P: I do watch movies. The title of the movie I last watched is “War Room.” If you didn’t watch that movie yet, do yourself a favor and watch it. If you are married, it is even better to watch it with your wife.
Do I watch movies? I do but only those movies I believe won’t defile my soul, mind and heart. After I made countless mistakes, I learned not to just get up and go to a movie theater.
Whether a movie is rated PG-13 or PG-4 (not that there is PG-4 rating), I won’t watch it until I check the content of the movie from the people who watch it for me. I said, “People who watch it for me” because that is their ministry; to watch a movie and see if it is appropriate for viewers like you and I. Their ministry is called pluggedin.com. And guess who owned this ministry? Of course, Focus on the Family. Continue reading Do You Watch PG-13 Movies?
A4P Guest: I have a question. Is phone -sex recommended for Christian husband and wife?
A4P: What is “phone-sex?” The phrase itself is counterintuitive and I will tell you why.
Sex is the physical, spiritual, mental and emotional union and oneness of a husband and a wife. This union includes the presence of God who is the only source of sexual pleasure (assuming that both of them are the temples of the Holy Spirit). In view of these two points (and more), the word “phone-sex” is counterintuitive. Continue reading Phone-Sex?