A4P Guest: Both my husband and I are born again Christians. We have two kids younger than 8. We were a happy couple up until last year.
A4P: What happened last year?
A4P Guest: My husband started to avoid me. He doesn’t seem to want to be alone with me.
A4P: Hmm! Did you ask him why?
A4P Guest: I did, many times!
A4P: What did he say?
A4P Guest: He is giving me all kinds of bogus reasons and sometimes he blames me of nagging him.
A4P: I mean, I agree with him, nagging is not good. But, I am sure, at least he wants to be alone with you in the bedroom, am I right?
A4P Guest: Not at all! He goes in bed, gives me his back and starts snoring.
A4P: Are you sure you do not suspect anything? Maybe another woman in his life?
A4P Guest: Never! He goes to work and comes home. He complains of being tired though.
A4P: Oh, maybe he may needs to see his doctor then.
A4P Guest: He did and the doctor told him that everything looked good.
A4P: Hmm! I don’t know what else to think. By the way, how old is he?
A4P Guest: 61.
A4P: How old are you?
A4P Guest: 42.
A4P: My friend, if I were you, this is what I would do: I would make myself busy 24/7: work out in the gym every day, help my kids in every way possible, and cook and clean. I would stay away from watching any romantic movies and shows that may make me think about my sexual nature. Whenever I sense that I have that desire to be intimate with my husband, I distract myself in any way I can. Above all, I make prayer and studying the word of God my number one priority whenever I find time. This way, I can get strength from God to make it through the day without lusting after another man. And I will definitely pray for my man so God will see him through his day too.
I say all this because, I know it might be hard for you to hear this but, I think your man is struggling to express himself to you sexually. And because of the age gap you guys have, it is very hard for both of you to understand each other and walk in one accord. Lamenting about this fact now is useless; so is totally forgetting it. He is 61 and you are 42. Instead of dwelling on this, convince yourself that there is more to life than being intimate with your husband and get on with your life. Be positive and hang out with positive people. Don’t gossip about your husband to ANYONE! Live as if you were single but with a grateful and joyful heart, knowing that your joy comes from God. And when your husband sees that you have peace with yourself and you stop nagging and questioning him, he may want to be intimate with you. But even then, you should be very careful not to overwhelm him because again, he is 61, you are 42. I wish I didn’t repeat that fact but you seem to have forgotten that.
Through it all, be very careful that you don’t hold grudges against your husband and you don’t develop contempt, resentment and hatred towards him. Instead, bless him in your heart every time you think of him. Don’t regret that you married him. Actually look for reasons to be thankful that you’re married to him. In this way, you will honor your God, your husband and yourself.
May God give you wisdom and strength! ///