“I Fear Being Judged”

A4P Guest: “I’m a 24 year-old girl; third year university student, pursuing medicine. I have never been intimate with any man but I view porn almost every day. I am a Christian, active in my church. I can’t tell anyone in my church about my struggle because everybody sees me as a spiritually strong person. I tried everything I can to stay away from porn but I’m losing the battle almost every day. I’m praying and crying before God, but I feel like God is not listening to me. I sometimes think to end it all but fear grips my heart. Everywhere I turn, people are talking about men being addicted to porn and it seems like men who seek help are receiving help, but me, being a girl, how can I go to someone and tell them that I am addicted to porn? I fear being judged and labeled as a wolf in sheep’s clothing. When I watched one of your videos you uploaded on the Appeal for Purity YouTube channel, I heard you saying that you were introduced to porn when you were 13; and I decided to come to you thinking that you may not judge or label me. Missy, I’m scared; I am powerless to stop this. I’m helpless.”

A4P: I can neither judge nor label you, my friend, because I’ve been there. I know that feeling of hopelessness and been taken over by that bone-crushing fear.

As much as I understand your struggles, I also understand your fears to let others know about your struggles; but the only thing I can tell you, other than what I read on countless books and research papers in this area, is what worked perfectly for me; inviting people into your private life. You need others to dig you out of this dungeon.

Where is God in all this? He is with you! Did you hear that? God is with you! The one thing God kept on telling to all His chosen ones throughout the Bible is this: I am with you!

He is with you, but you need others to help you out. Why? We are part of the Body of Christ. If the kidney hides its cancerous tumor, it will eventually be the cause for all the body organs to fail. Sin is like a cancer. It doesn’t stay at one place. It metastases at a faster rate and affects other body organs.

That is why we Christians need to cultivate authenticity, transparency, truthfulness and integrity among ourselves so that Christ will be glorified not in our strengths but our weaknesses, not in our “status-quo” but in our humble state of surrender, not by what others testify about us but by the testimony of the Holy Spirit.

But remember this: Not everybody can help you. So, pray for God to lead youto that right person. Always fix your eyes on this; Victory belongs to you. You are more than conquerors because Christ is in your life. You triumph over porn addiction because He who is in you is stronger than he who is in all pornographic websites. ///