Sometimes, I find similar questions dropped off in my inbox from different people at the same time.
And this week, I have received one particular question from different married women; and that question is regarding “loss of sexual pleasure after childbirth”, (which is clinically called anorgasmia).
Some women stop being orgasmic immediately or after few weeks or months or even years of childbirth. During this time, some wives resent their husbands or their own new born child for their loss of sexual pleasure. (BTW, porn addiction is one of the causes of anorgasmia. Some women lose their ability to achieve orgasm right after one porn video and some after they view a number of porn videos.)
To make this short and to the point, I will jump into the main point. Some or most women find it very hard to achieve orgasm after they have their first or second or number 8th child. From the many reasons which can be mentioned as causes, let me address here one of the common causes for this phenomena to occur.
One of these causes is loss of pelvic muscle tone. These pelvic floor muscles contract and relax to control urination. That means they relax to pass the urine and contract to stop urination (or as the woman finishes urination). These muscles tend to be strong before childbirth but after childbirth, they have a tendency to relax and stay in that relaxed state. Remember, these muscles have to be relaxed for the baby to come out through the natural birth canal. Some women avoid giving birth naturally and choose C-section to keep these muscles strong but these muscles relax whether the child comes out of the birth canal or through C-section. (Also, these important pelvic muscles, as it is true with every other muscles of the body, tend to lose their tone as the woman gets old or there are other illnesses which can affect the strength of these muscles. – Continuously strengthening these muscles is the best way to keep them firm for the long haul!)
God amazingly makes these muscles to help the woman achieve orgasm but if these muscles lose their strength and tone, it will be a very hard work for the husband to help his wife achieve orgasm. (Some wives think that their husbands don’t have that much enough erection.)
As with most of our body muscles, these pelvic muscles respond to consistent exercise.
So, the best exercise which helps strengthen these muscles is called Kegel Exercise. I guess some gynecologists take it on themselves to advise their patients to start Kegel Exercise right after childbirth but some simply don’t care or don’t have time to do that. But either way, it is not too late to any mother to start to do this exercise and a loving and romantic husband takes interest in this to help and encourage his wife to stick with this exercise because when “everything is said and done” the main beneficiary of this exercise is the husband!
I don’t want to waste my time writing about this particular exercise because you can find it on Google. There are myriads of information on the Internet regarding this exercise but as always, you be very careful as to which Google search results to click. I advise you click the ones which have medical terms in their URL (such as Mayoclinic or Webmd). Remember, porn sites are out there to trap anyone who is looking for answers regarding sex. So, watch out!
“Is it right for a Christian to do this exercise?” Of course it is!
But let me add this to my answer. The Bible says this regarding any exercise: “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” 1Timothy 4:8
Yes, trying to strengthen any of our muscles through physical exercise is important but it is only important for this life, not for the life to come, the life we should care first and foremost. If we care about our muscles’ “tone” more than we care about our “spiritual muscles”, we will lose big time! We may have good pelvic muscles tone but we will be very far from the sexual pleasure God has for us.
As Christians and followers of Jesus Christ, our number one goal in life is to know God and live for Him! If we are reading, searching and running around to maximize our sexual pleasure, we will miss it all because God is the Source of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17) including sexual pleasure.
Apart from Him, anything we find will destroy us. Sexual intimacy in the marriage SHOULD NOT BE the god of our marriages but God Himself! Some people are too obsessed by the idea of sex and everything related to sex and they miss the blessing of God in their own Christian marriages.
So, let’s make this the motto of our Christian walk: “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33 – KJV)
It is wrong and sinful for Christian married couples to seek sexual pleasure without making “seeking God and His ways” their number one priority in their married life. It is foolishness for us Christians to make sexual pleasure first on our list while we make praying, reading and meditating the Bible and seeking fellowship with other believers the last on our list. ///