Name Changed?

Most of you by now know what my “nickname” used to be, don’t you?
 
Well, let me refresh your memory. My nickname used to be a moth. In Amharic, the direct translation is: “Dinner of Fire.” (By the way, this is one of the zillion nicknames I’ve earned for myself so far.)

After I learned the English name of “Dinner of Fire”, I began reading about moths. Let me share with you some of the things I learned. Continue reading Name Changed?

Thank you and New Project

The number of likes I’ve been waiting for!

2000! Well, to be exact, 2002!

May all the glory, praise and honor be to Jesus Christ who makes an extraordinary work through not ordinary person but less than an ordinary person like me! I praise Him forever! I’m nothing without Him!

God gave me people like you guys who relentlessly support and encourage me. Your support and encouragement motivates me never to quit even when the tide is lowest! Thank you so much guys! I wish I could start mentioning each one of my strong supporter’s name so that I will be satisfied but you are many. May the LORD bless you guys for helping me stay on Facebook and widen this ministry. I love you guys! May the LORD keep you in His blessing and grace!

And may the LORD help me to continue to minister to you faithfully without watering down the Truth of God!

Well, the more you drop your comments on the post and share the A4P post, A4P is able to reach as many people as it otherwise won’t be able to. Only last week, the message of A4P was delivered for more than 11 thousands of people across the globe (according to the weekly report on the page from Facebook).

What else do I need? Nothing! God asks us to proclaim it as it is and I strive to do just that. The changing and renewing of life is His and from all the beautiful life stories and testimonies I hear almost every day, I know that my labor is not in vain. What a joy to be a co-laborer with Jesus Christ!

So, today is the first day I will launch a brand new project. I will drop a video clip on A4P Facebook page and twitter. Today’s clip is just the intro and from today’s on, I will drop one clip with a message or two, as often as I possibly can. As always, I depend on you to spread it across the globe. Will you help me? Will you support me?

Thank you and God bless you!

In Christ, Missy.

Letting them Go!

I enjoy being a mother. I enjoy our kids very much. And to tell you the truth, the Bankos are very funny and “goofy” kids who make your darkest days bright.

My Berhan and I tend to call them “three nations” because we believe, that is how God sees them as. We have two teens (15 and 13) and one 11 years old.

Believe me; both our teens are very excited to be teenagers and soon going to be adults. They talk a lot about it and they count how many years they have left to be eighteen. Well, we don’t usually pay attention to that as long as we have them until they turn eighteen, if you know what I mean.

Our little one, on the other hand, is the one from three of them who didn’t actually enjoy growing up that much. He is very attached to me since day one.

The first time he saw gray hair on my head, his world crashed into smaller pieces. When I went to pray for him at his bedside at night, he said, “Mom, are you going to die?”

Okay, what would be your answer for that? For a second, I thought God was speaking to me to get ready to depart from this life but I said, smiling, “What? What do you mean?”

He said, with his both eyes filled with tears, “You have gray hair and you are getting very old. Do you think you will die of old age before I grow up?”

I laughed and I said, “Are you serious? Most people have gray hair and they live with gray hair for fifty or sixty years. So, don’t worry. Your Mama has at least another sixty or seventy years. So, unless you are not tired of me, I think I am going to stick around for a while.”
He smiled as if God was promising to me to keep his Mama around longer than he asked for. He said, “I don’t want you to die. I want you

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to live forever.” He hugged me tight and bowed down to pray with me.

He is very attached with me. Until he turned nine, the one thing he didn’t like was the fact that he was not allowed to sleep with his Mama every night. It was not a one day or a one year issue for him but everyday issue. Whenever it gets dark, he always asks one question, “So, mom, why is Dad allowed to sleep with you every night but not me? Is he your favorite?”

I know, that is a very tricky question to find a good answer for. And to tell you the truth, there was no right answer which gave him comfort not to ask that same question again.

So, last year, when he was ten, we went somewhere for a summer vacation and we rented two hotel rooms. We used to rent one of those hotel rooms which look like one bedroom apartment but this time, we decided to rent two separate hotel bedrooms and I was not sure how my little one reacted to that decision.

So, we went there and he was okay of checking out both rooms and he was okay for saying good night to both of us the first night. And the next day, after lunch, we stayed on the table as we said bye to them. My little one, stayed behind and said, “Mom, we are done with lunch. Get up and let’s go.”

His sister said, “Dude, they want to be alone. Remember?”

I wonder what she wanted him to remember. But anyways, I said to him, stroking his hair, “You guys can go, swim and have a good time together. Your dad and I wanted to be alone for the rest of the day.”
He looked at me as if to say, “I know you two want to be alone and it is okay with me.”

He kissed me and said, “Good-day” and disappeared from my eyes.
I couldn’t continue with my Berhan. I felt like my son deserted me. I felt like my son didn’t want me anymore. My Berhan knows me very well. So he said, “He grew up, didn’t he?”

I said, “Yeah, I guess.”

I am happy that at last testosterone kicked in and encouraged him to separate from Mama Bear but Mama Bear was not ready to say “Good bye”.

I felt like crying but “Silly me” I said to myself and smiled. Berhan, as if he heard what I said, he said, “Were you planning to raise him and marry him. Let the man go.”

I said, “I wish!” And we laughed.

I carried this little boy in my womb for nine months. I raised him up telling him stories like how David killed Goliath; or how Daniel came out alive from the lion’s den.

He used to have a fight with his dad so that he would sit next to me wherever we go. He used to kiss me on my lips just so that he would give me the same treatment as his dad to win my heart. He used to do something and turned to me and asked, “Did you see that Mom?”
But now, he turned around and said, “Good day Mom” and he ran to his hotel room; leaving his Mama with Papa Bear with whom he used to fight to win his Mama’s attention.

Now he grew up. He is eleven. He doesn’t ask those questions such as, “When is my turn to sleep with you?”

Yes, the order of things must be as God set it up. For me to mother my son, for my son to love and treasure me as a mother but when it is time for him to leave me, he won’t turn around. That is how it should be.

But you know one thing that makes a lot of sense to me these days?
Well, the fact that I have my Berhan and my Berhan has me! We have one another. Yes, our kids are with us for a very short period of time and just as we left our parents behind to lead our own lives, our kids at one point, have to say “So long!” to us to do life without us.
So, I am more treasuring and appreciating my relationship with my Berhan than with my kids. Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids more than words can express but when everything is said and done, my Berhan is the one who is going to remain with me when three of them start their own life journey.

So, my message for today is this: If you are married, make sure you make your spouse a number person you give your first priority to; not your kids. Love your kids but always remember this: Your kids will leave you because they are someone else’s spouse. The one who is going to remain with you after your kids leave you behind is your spouse. So, invest on your spouse today so that those “empty nest” years will be enjoyable ones. That is what I always remind myself these days. ///

Sunday, June 22 at Woodbridge, VA IEEC

If you happen to be in Virginia on Sunday, June 22nd, join me at the International Ethiopian Evangelical Church at 10am. There will be a wonderful worship service by the worship leaders of the church and I will deliver the Word of God in the area of sexual purity.

Please pass on the flyer attached to this note.

Have great Wednesday,

In Christ, Missy.

PDA is only Holy with Married Couples

It was one of those sunny and breathy March days. I don’t remember what we did with our three kids but my Berhan and I managed to spend a romantic outing by ourselves.

We have our own favorite area down in DC where we always end up going and talking about our childhood and everything else except kids.

Yeah, whenever we have a date, we don’t allow each other to talk about our kids. Yes, talking about kids is politically incorrect topic on our date nights. You can imagine me how many times I go back to that forbidden topic because I spend most of my time with our kids.

So, on that day, we went to our favorite spot in DC and walked around until it was around 6pm and we went to our favorite restaurant for dinner. There were candle lights on every table and most guests were couples who were minding their own business, just like us.

While we were talking and laughing, enjoying our night out as if nobody’s business, I noticed a couple across our table staring at us, especially the woman. They were beautiful Caucasian couple, probably in their sixtieth. First, I thought I was imagining them staring at us but they kept on talking, smiling and looking at us.

So, I said to my Berhan, “My Love, I think those people are talking about us.”

He turned around and looked at them and said, “You are imagining things. Leave them alone. They are enjoying their dinner.”

I said, “Okay,” and tried to forget them.

But they didn’t stop staring at us. They came a little earlier than us. So, I saw them paying their bill. At that moment, the server set up our table to bring out our orders. My Berhan always washes his hands before he eats; it doesn’t matter if he is going to use fork and knife. That is his custom as a typical Ethiopian man. So, he got up and went to the restroom.

At that very moment, the couple got up and began their way out but instead of going out to the door, they came directly to me, smiling, the woman leading the way. I stared at her while I tried to smile back, not knowing what to expect.

She bent down to my ears and said, “Did he propose to you?”

Oh, my! They thought that we were unmarried couple on our special date.

Usually, my Berhan tends to hold my hands while talking to me and he has a good sense of humor which makes me laugh every time he brings up a weird topic to talk about. So I was laughing a lot and of course there must be kissing in the middle of all that. So the woman was 100% sure that my man was trying to convince me to marry him.

Anyways, I got up and said to her, “Oh, that is very nice of you but today is our tenth year wedding anniversary. And we have three lovely and beautiful kids.”

I wish you saw her face. Her jaw dropped and said, “Amazing! You guys are beautiful couple.” Her husband respectfully smiled to acknowledge his appreciation. And I said, “But thank you for your kindness to stop by to tell me that.”

Why did they think that we were unmarried couple dating? Doesn’t married couple express love and affection, forgetting and ignoring the outside world? I know I don’t blame them because looking around, that is what it looks like. But who said that love and affection is for unmarried couples who hardly know each other? Who said kissing, passionate touching and caressing are holy activities before marriage? Who said that PDA (Public Displayed Affection – as our daughter expresses it) is for unmarried couples? Maybe the culture teaches that, but not the Bible. ///

My last weekend message link

Don’t you love technology? I do very much so!

So, for those of you who didn’t join me last weekend with Ethiopian Christian Plus All (ECPA) PalTalk program, here is the link.

Thank you for "Renew yr Mind" (from ECPA) who shared this with me so that I would be able to share it with you all. God bless you my brother!

I heard the message as if it was from someone else, I love it and I recommend to all of you who can understand Amharic to hear it.

As usual, please partner with me and help me spread this message by sharing this post with your friends. Will you?

I bless God to all of you! God bless your Monday and the rest of your week!

In Christ, Missy.

http://www.ethiochristians.org/index.php/audio-resource-from-ethiochristians/sermons?catid=22%3Afamily-teachings

Regardless, I love my dad!

After I graduated from pharmacy school in 2007 and added a title next to my name, my dad stopped calling me in the name he used to call me.

So, whenever I call him, he picks up the phone and says, “Doctor, my wise daughter.”

Well, I know the first one “Doctor”, I got it from “schooling” but the second one, believe me in this, it took me years and years of hard work to earn it.

Do you want to know my “OLD” nickname? Please don’t call me with that name, lol, but I will tell you anyways.

So, here we go: “Dinner of Fire” (those of you who are from Ethiopia should know what kind of bug is called like that – if you know the name of that bug in English, please let me know, lol). Well, this bug is curious for every little thing. It sometimes gets attracted to the shiny light of a fire and jumps into it not knowing that it burns it, lol.

Well, my dad doesn’t call me "Dinner of Fire" anymore. So now you know why I enjoy calling my dad; just to be called, not as “Dinner of Fire” (Hallelujah, God changed my name) but “Doctor, my wise daughter”.

For my mom and dad’s 50th years wedding anniversary lunch party, which was celebrated in Ghion Hotel in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, I presented one of my and dad’s story everybody who was there at the party loved. So, I will tell you that story today since I’m writing this to say “Happy Father’s Day” to my dad and to all the Dads out there.

So, when I was a teenager, making a phone call from home was something unthinkable. The monthly phone bill was driving my mom crazy. So, my mom bought a key and locked the dial (I attached the picture of the phone with this post so that those of you who are not from my generation will understand what kind of phone I’m talking about here, lol).

Even though my mom faithfully locked the phone every day, my siblings were able to keep in touch with their friends over the phone. I wondered how they did it.

So, one day, I saw one of my older siblings making a phone call while the phone was tightly locked. I was very curious how they did it.

Then one day, after so many trials and errors, I figured it out. Once you practice for a number of times, you can do it but it demands accuracy and speed, lol. You don’t need to know how to do it because I wonder if anybody has this kind of phone these days.

One day, my dad and I were home. Nobody was home. My mom was not home either and my dad didn’t have any clue where his wife went. After he waited for her for a long time, my dad became very nervous.

He asked me where my mom was and I told him that I didn’t know but told him that she could be at her sister’s house. He immediately said, “Okay, go ahead call your aunt’s house.”

I quickly replied, to make my point across that it was not good to lock the phone, “I can’t do that. You know mom always locks the phone and she takes the key with her.”

He was very frustrated. I kept my cool and sat next to him. It was around 5:30pm and my mom was nowhere to be found. When the clock read 6pm, my dad was really worried.

Calmly, I said to him (I know my siblings sacrificed me for that), “Do you want me to make a phone call so that you would know where she is?”

He looked at me as if I was trying to make a fool out of him, he said, “You don’t have the key, do you?”

Trying to read his face to see whether he was going to join my “club” or not, I said, still with calm voice, “No, I don’t have the key but if you want me to make a call, I will but you have to keep it as a secret and promise me that you won’t tell anyone.”

He looked at me as if I was one of “the ufos” or something. Now, I smiled mischievously and said, “Just promise me that you don’t say anything to anyone, especially to mom, do you?” I must be lunatic for thinking that because with my dad, nothing is a secret! I know that very well. Anyways!

He said, “Okay” with some hesitation which was very obviously seen across his face. I don’t know how I missed that, lol. So, I got up and called and talked to my aunt. My aunt told me that my mom had left few minutes ago.

I hang up the phone and told him. He was relieved but at the same time, he was staring at me as if I was “a mafia” or a gang organizer.

Within two or three minutes, my mom came. And guess what? My dad didn’t even say hello to her.

He asked her, “Do you have the key for the phone?”

She inquisitively said, “Yes.”

He said, “Forget it! Don’t even worry about carrying it with you anymore. You rather leave it here. Your daughter just made a phone call while the phone was locked.”

Yeah, that is my dad! The good thing is, that incident set us all free. My mom decided not to lock the phone. Rather, she chose to teach us about money and budget. Did I get that? Nope!

Well, yes, my dad hides nothing, my dear. No secret with him and I strive to be like him because I see him being emotionally healthy ALWAYS.

Believe it or not, I didn’t plan to write about my dad but about his dad, my grandpa. Well, what can I say? Let me say few things about my grandpa, the person even my dad was not privileged to know.

My dad last saw his dad when he was 9 years old. One day I asked my dad if he remembered anything of his dad and this is what he said:

“I remember my dad leaving home one early morning around 5am, carrying his rifle. I looked at him from the back. He didn’t say a word to me. He didn’t turn back to say bye or anything. He left and I stood there until he disappeared from my eyes. And that is the only picture I have of my dad. I have more memory of his back than his front.”

His dad died during the five years’ war between Italy and Ethiopia. After his dad died, my dad, being the first child, took over his dad’s place. He tried his best to provide to his stay-at-home mom and his two siblings.

Since he didn’t see the body of his dad, he expected him to come home and surprise them. But he never did. His uncles and most of the men in his neighborhood died in that war. So, it was (still is) very hard for my dad to find someone to tell him about his dad; or what he was like. He didn’t have any picture of his dad.

And recently, like eight years ago, he found a small book, about one of the generals who was leading the Ethiopian known fifty snipers during that time and there is one picture of the fifty snipers together in the middle of the story and the names of those soldiers were listed.

My dad was just simply reading that small book and all of a sudden, he read his dad’s full name being listed among the fifty snipers.

The problem was the names of those soldiers were not listed according to their lineup on the picture but according to their war title. His dad was the fifth one listed. My dad had no memory of his father’s face. So he was not able to tell which one was his dad from those fifty men. (I attached that picture with this post.)

He put that small book closer to his heart and sobbed. He sobbed as if he found his dad’s body.

Yes, my dad went through hell to make the ends meet because he lost his dad at early age. He didn’t have anyone to protect and provide for him, his siblings and his poor mom. He did everything upside down because he was young with no mentor or role model around. He always says, “I wish I’ve known my dad. I wish I had moments with him; moments I remember vividly. I wish my dad told me how to do life.”

And as a daughter of a fatherless father, I can tell you this: It hurts not to have a father while you have a father. My dad didn’t know how to do fathering. Looking back, I see many incidents where I wanted to have a father to protect me and fight for me but my dad didn’t know how to raise a daughter, protect her and love her in the way she wanted to be loved by her dad.

But regardless, I love my dad! He did “his best” which at times, his best was a nightmare for me. But regardless, I love him very dearly. I’m glad he was (still is) in my life. At least, his presence kept the thieves away from our house. Seeing a thief was my nightmare when I was a little girl but I used to take courage from my dad’s “WARRIOR” spirit whenever I became scared of thieves in the middle of the night. My dad was (still is) scared of nothing and nobody, including death. I know he is brave.

I attached one of my favorite pictures I had with my dad when I was three or four years old.

So, let me close here by saying this to all fathers out there, including my dad:

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

FATHERS, YOU ARE VERY IMPORTANT FOR US, WOMEN AND KIDS, MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER KNOW AND IMAGINE! WE EVEN APPRECIATE YOUR PRESENCE LET ALONE YOUR INVOLVEMENT IN OUR LIVES. ///

A reminder about the June 6th and 7th program!

Don’t forget to log in to your PalTalk account and join me on the Ethiopian Christian Plus All PalTalk program.

What an opportunity to be able to come together to worship and fellowship across the globe!

I’m seriously looking forward to it.

Make sure you drop your questions in my inbox; questions you want me to go over tomorrow or Saturday.

Yes, I’m still receiving questions and keep them coming!

If you already dropped me a question and if you know that you are not going to attend both days, tell me which day you want me to address your question so that I will address it at your presence (again, assuming that I have an answer, lol).

Let’s come prayerfully and God will change us for good!

Good night,
In Christ, Missy.