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Good Marriages don’t just happen

Looking at a beautiful garden, will you say “they are lucky to have this garden”? No, you won’t because you know that it is not luck which gave them the beautiful garden but their hard work.

In the

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same way, beautiful marriages don’t just happen by chance or luck.

Own the Blame

Hmm, when we knowingly sin against God, we have nobody else to blame but ourselves.

We

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can’t say “I don’t have strength to say “No” to sin”, because God’s word says, “My grace is sufficient for you” (2 Corinthians 12:9). We can’t say, “I didn’t know”, because His Word says that we have received anointing from Him and we don’t need anyone to teach us (1 John 2:27). We can’t say, “I don’t have what others have” because His Word says, “His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3), on and on.

Every Truth of God shows us that we are the ones to be blamed for our sins, nobody else, not others, not situations and circumstances, and not God, nor the devil.

When we blame others, we are indirectly saying: “If I was not married to this woman, I would have led a sexually pure life.”

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Or, “If I was not in this dark situation, I would have been leading a sexually pure lifestyle.” Or, the famous one, “If it was not for the devil, by now I would have been the one to resurrect the dead ones.”

God’s Word always reflects to us who we really are, and in a way warns us not to transfer the blame to anyone but ourselves. And that is a very important truth we need to keep in our hearts.

Do you know why that is important? Well, when we know that we have nobody to blame, we realize that what we are actually fighting against is who we are.

Then perhaps we may be able to come to Him and cry, “Abba Father, save me from myself”; a wonderful prayer God loves to answer!!!

Realistic Expectation

Expecting different outcome while doing the same thing in the same way is like expecting our cars one day to fly us on the sky. It ain’t happen!

Sexual sin won’t leave us alone until we change our “routines” which got us in trouble in the first place. If we are still taking that corner and dark place in the library, not to study but in fact to do our own secret stuff, we won’t be free from our sin. Actually we tighten up the grip of sin on our life. “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13)

Be radical and change your routines so that you will forsake your sin. Then you will find out that after all victory was at your doorstep, and you will also stop blaming God for not answering your prayers.

Oh, Precious, God does hear your prayers and He answers them. But always remember this: God won’t do your part; only His.

Giving Virginity to a Man doesn’t Make him a Husband

When a girl gives her virginity to a man she is not married to, she most likely thinks that she will be that man’s idol; his only dream and priority.

But a man’s mental, sexual and emotional world don’t function that way.

A girl becomes his dream-girl only when she makes him wait for sex. He desires and dreams to make her his only when she protects him from sinning against God by protecting herself.

Some girls say to me, in owe, “Can you believe that he is a believer; and he serves in the church. How can a man like him do such a thing?”

That is a fallacy most women want to embrace, a fallacy that says “Christian Men have different sexual urges from non-Christian men.” Married women blame their husbands for desiring sex everyday, saying that if their husbands were really Christians, they wouldn’t have asked for sex that often.

Oh, may the LORD give those husbands grace to go through this.

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Know this: After everything is said and done, a man who is created in the image of God desires sex in the same way whether he believes in God or not.

A man who leads a sexually pure life desires to live a one woman-man kind of life (Sarah and Abimelech); when he leads a sexually immoral lifestyle, he dives in it with his both feet  (Delilah to Samson; or Potiphar’s wife to Joseph).

Precious, if you are a single girl, please listen to me. If a man takes a girl’s virginity, he only thinks himself, not her. His sexual world doesn’t work like yours. His sexual department doesn’t have sympathy when it is allowed to be wild, whether he is baptized in the Holy Spirit or not.

If he loves you, he cares for you to the point of saving you till marriage. He won’t touch you if he wants to make you his wife.

He proposed to you doesn’t mean that he’ll marry you!

“But he cried when I told him we can’t do sex before marriage.”

Really? Let him cry for the rest of his life. He is just a good actor. Most men can fake tears (well, women too, as a matter of fact). Don’t let his tears preach to you. Tell him to hit the road if sex is the one thing that guarantees his existence. You won’t lose a thing by saying “Good bye” to him except heartaches, pain and suffering.

If you already lost your virginity, leave him alone. He can’t pay you back by marrying you. Settle on this: Nothing can bring your virginity back. Move on with your life. If he comes back, most probably he comes back to continue from where he left off. So it is too risky to desire him back.

Pick up the pieces of your life and start all over again as if you were a virgin. Lead a sexually pure life and you shall test the power of God’s mercy and grace in your life. A man desires to have you, above all virgin girls in the city, because you first attracted God to your life by your sexually pure life.

Read the Book of Ruth. She was married to a man. Well, you don’t want me to tell you that she was not a virgin, do you? Well, I don’t think so. She was sleeping with her husband but her husband died.

But, Beloved, Ruth stole the heart of a famous, rich Bachelor who was a dream man of every virgin girl in a city.

Yes, there is what is called “Secondary virginity” which comes to you with a repentant lifestyle.

And one last note: Just because the man who dis-virgin you comes back to your life doesn’t mean that you are sexually pure. You will be sexually pure only when you lead a life that is sexually pure, with him or without him. ///

Rare Jewel

Some men say, “I’m single because I want to. I’ll marry whenever I want to. Women are everywhere.”

Hmm, women may be everywhere but a wife who will be a man’s “suitable helper” is not everywhere. She is a RARE JEWEL!!! And only the humble finds

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her on his way.

Singleness and Life Expectancy

“A single man’s life expectancy is equal to the man who smokes two packs of cigarettes a day.”

Hmm, I don’t remember exactly where I read this research result but whenever I think about it, it gives me goosebumps.

“Every cigarette reduces a life of a person by 11 minutes” (US national Library of Medicine).

This too gives me a chill because I know many people who are still smoking cigarette.

Well, putting the above two facts together, we find something like “every year or month, there is a certain amount of health a man loses if he stays single”. Wow, can you just comprehend that?

Most science findings prove that God is Right and God’s ways are the only ways which guarantee health, peace and joy to the heart, mind and soul of a man.

So, again, science in a way is saying that getting married is not a luxury but a necessity for a healthy living. If a man wants to live a health life, he has to get married. It is life threatening for a man to stay single. Do you see that?

And can you just imagine how happy the devil becomes when he sees the man (“the Adam”) he hates passionately dying before his eyes without the devil doing anything to him? Yes, he is happy. He wants to see all “the Adams” choosing to stay single because that is where he finds them all in the right place to make them useful for NOTHING!

If you are a single man reading this, be a celibate if that is the call you received from the LORD. If that is not the case, get married as soon as you can. But remember, marriage can also kill you faster than singleness unless you do marriage

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wisely. Pursue a woman for your own goodness; not so she will take care of you but so you will take care of her and die for her. Yes, that is your call! It is following your call that gives you purpose in life and health, joy and long life.

Otherwise you will be on your way which seems right to you but leads to death (Proverbs 16:25). It is by choice you can be foolish or wise. Choose to be wise.

Listen what the Word says:
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” (Proverbs 12:15) ///

P. S. Amazingly enough, what the research results prove to be true about a single man can’t be applied to a single woman because single woman in one way or the other receives societal support even when she is single. Her life quality may not be as good as a married woman but her life expectancy may not be affected as much. These also tell us that a man sure needs a “helper”, and a woman only finds meaning to her life when she marries and becomes a crown of her husband (Proverbs 12:4).

Yes, Love needs time

It is good to know the love language of our spouses. Otherwise we speak in English, they hear us in Germany. This not only creates misunderstanding but it also creates chaos in the home. However knowing our spouses’ love language is not good enough.

Once we know they have a different love language than ours, we need to learn to speak it. How can we speak their language if their language is foreign to us? We have to spend time with them so that we learn and practice how to say all “the phonetics”. Continue reading Yes, Love needs time

Love Needs Time

As a plant needs sunlight, water and minerals (soil) for it to grow, love needs time to grow. The outside attraction won’t last long. For love to be rooted deep in the heart, it requires time which is , purposely and consciously, set apart for it to grow.

I Rather Die than Loving This Woman

It was spring and the bright sunlight brightened up my heart. And with that gorgeous weather, how beautiful it was to attend a wedding. I met some of my lovely friends with whom I could laugh and be just “me”.

Then, suddenly I saw one woman. The moment I saw her, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I quickly changed my eyes from her and started looking away as if I didn’t see her. Continue reading I Rather Die than Loving This Woman