It is true that most men don’t really change. Whoever they are today tends to remain for a long haul. Some experts actually say, once a man passes that magic age, 25, whoever he is remains until he dies (not to mention that human’s personalities, both male and female, are already made once a person celebrates his/her 7th year birthday).
Can God change a man once he passes his 25th years of age? Of course He can! Why do we even go to the topic of “Can God do this or that” knowing that God is El Shaddai (God is Almighty) and He is Omnipotent. Who can stand in His way? NONE!
However, once a man turns to God but still chooses a destructive lifestyle, he can only bring change into his life if he hits rock-bottom, just like the Prodigal son, goes to God and says,
“But when he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger! I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men.”” Luke 15:17-19 NASB
Beautiful, isn’t it!
But this “rock-bottom experience” to a man usually demands his wife refusal to live with him!
Yes! If his wife says to him, for example, “I no more want to live with your porn-invested life! I am out of here,” the man who is comfortable in his sinful lifestyle “comes to his senses,” and says to himself, “What am I doing with my life? Am I going to lose my wife and kids?” And he runs to people who can save him and save his marriage.
The thing is, today most married Christian men are in all kinds of addictions (porn, substance abuse, gambling, phone sex, visiting massage paroles and whorehouses, etc) because their wives agree to live with them.
Some people say, “But those women don’t have anywhere to go?” I may understand those cases when they happen in countries such as Ethiopia but here in America and Europe too?
A woman is created to be “a suitable helper” to the man but her suitability stops the moment she tolerates her husband’s sins such as adultery and accepts to live with him and raises her children in that environment.
This is not the will of God. Some people may see it as “spirituality” for the wife to remain in that marriage and cries and prays. Well, it may be spirituality but not a biblical kind of spirituality. The Bible, the word of God, has life principles we cannot misunderstand since they are written for us in ways we can understand.
Some people use the Bible so wives live in “a man glorifying condition” while God is dishonored and in every level as the marriage is going to heaven, not the parties who are in the marriage. They quote 1 Peter 3:1-4 to wives:
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”
And they add to their counseling, “The thing is you don’t pray. That is why your husband is in porn and visits prostitutes or goes around and sleeps with other women. Pray and change your behavior first as 1 Peter 3 says so that your husband will change.”
No wonder many of these women are dying emotionally and spiritually and live in depression and all kinds of emotional sicknesses.
1 Peter 3:1-4 does not speak to wives who have an adulterer husband or lead “a family and marriage destructive lifestyle.” Read the previous chapter, 1 Peter 2 to find the context of that particular chapter and read the follow passage of this same chapter to understand the context even better.
If a wife gets up and says, “I will no more be willing to live in this condition,” it shows that she is actually spiritually strong! She knows the word of God and His principles. It shows that this woman is godly and biblically spiritually. Not the other way around!
Some men are professional liars! They lie to their wives as well as to the people they go to seeking help. Those men need strong men who look at them in the eye and tell them the truth: Get your acts together or you are not worthy to have your wife and children! ///