Narcissist Personality Disorder!
Before I say anything about this disorder, let me briefly say this about divorce:
I am not really sure why some people in the Christian community consider divorce as one of unpardonable or unforgivable sins. They advise, mainly the woman, to endure any form of abuse from her husband instead of seeking safe place for her and her kids.
Do you know that when a wife suffers, her kids suffer even more? Yes, her kids will mentally and psychologically be affected and later suffer from mental and emotional ailments.
Nobody, I will say it again, nobody benefits from this a marriage where there is any form of abuse. Some people think that God is happy when these kinds of marriages remain as they are.
This is misrepresentation of God and the whole counsel of the word of God!
Where there is abuse, a marriage that the word of God is talking about stops existing. Narcissist personality disorder is one of the reasons why marriages stop existing.
This disorder is mainly seen in men and when men with this personality disorder come to marriage, they cause their wives and children lots of hurts, pains and heartaches. If they are willing to get help, it is well and good. If not, the wife and the kids have to be rescued.
Here are the common characters of this disorder and I want to present their characters in a marriage setting where the man exhibits this disorder:
- He is “two faced” – He puts down people behind their backs (people such as his families and close friends) – it is not like his families and friends have problems but there is always turmoil in his own mind and he doesn’t feel valuable and worthy in his own mind unless he puts his own families and friends down.
- He blames his wife for his “lack of success” – and he swears and says, “I married this woman and everything in my life went down the drain!” It is very hard to convince him otherwise.
- The way he acts in the house and outside the house is as different as “day and night.” His wife and kids are the ones who know this reality very well. He acts like an angle, for example in church; but in his house, he is totally different.
- He tends to be irresponsible and unreliable – His wife and kids know that they are the last in his priority list no matter what they want.
- He acts superior – he thinks that he is better than everybody else, and that he knows everything. His wife and children receive verbal abuse if they seem to question that.
- He lives in a fantasy world which may include “porn, flirting, affairs, and dreams of unlimited success and fame” –
- He is addicted to fantasy oriented behaviors – because of that, he loves going around and looking for prophets who prophesy to him all kinds of “The God of hosts told me this and that about you and you will be this big and that!” – His Facebook account news fed may be full of “God blessed me and God said this and that to me,” to prove to people that he is somebody big.
- He lies, distorts and changes facts to suit his own agenda – he doesn’t care when he lies – his wife and children are the ones who know this very well.
- He is irresponsible with money – that is why he doesn’t want to have common joint bank account with his wife. He doesn’t want to be held responsible and accountable.
- He is emotionally distant and unavailable for anyone unless he wants something – if he looks emotionally in-tuned, he is up to something and his wife knows this very well.
- He has absolutely no sympathy whatsoever for others especially to those he abuses, uses and exploits – mainly his wife.
- You don’t see him relaxing at any moment because he controls everything to stay hidden – he constantly verbally abuses his wife and children out of fear of being exposed.
- He provokes his wife for a fight! Then when the fight breaks out, he blames his wife for starting the fight.
- He does not admit his mistakes and faults! He makes sure that his wife and children, the ones he exploits, know that he is always right and he does not make a mistake; if any mistake, it belongs to them, not to him – most wives in this situation ask for forgiveness and they say sorry thinking that they can change their husbands and save their marriage and family but the thing is nothing is going to change.
So, if you are that woman who lives with a man who exhibits the aforementioned characters, please seek help. If you have little kids, please seek help for them too from the people who can help you.
Please save yourself and your little one. To keep your marriage or not is something you will worry about later. Saving your life and the lives of your kids should come first. Say “No” TODAY to be at the receiving end of emotional, mental and physical abuse. ///