A4P Guest: I am 28 years old and I am seeing a gentle man, 32. I met him through one of my coworkers. Both of us are born again Christians. Before and after we came to Christ, we both did stupid mistakes and I think we both learned from our mistakes. Now we decided to get married before this year ends. My question for you is this: I know, probably nobody have asked you this question before, but let me ask it anyways. So, I feel like everything is too good to be true and I feel nervous. I don’t know why. Do you think this is normal?
A4P: Hmm! You’re absolutely right, I’ve never come across this kind of question before. So, what is perfect or “too good to be true” with you and your man?
A4P Guest: You know, I mean, I love him and he loves me and both our families are happy for us. But there is this thing bugging me and I don’t know what it is.
A4P: Hmm! I am not sure, but probing questions may help me dig deeper to find more about you two. So, tell me. When did you guys meet? (Please be honest with me if you want to find answers to your question.)
A4P Guest: Oh, sure, I will be honest with you, no problem! We met four months ago. I know, that is a very short time, right?
A4P: I think it is. So, what made you decide to marry him? Have you guys already been physical/sexual?
A4P Guest: Oh, no! Even if I said I made stupid mistakes, I have never had sex before and I haven’t been sexual with him either.
A4P: What about him?
A4P Guest: He is such a kind and honest guy that many people took advantage of him. I guess he makes good money and all that, maybe.
A4P: You didn’t answer my question. What about him? What is his background record with girls?
A4P Guest: He dated a couple women and he was married one woman for a very short period of time, like for a year or so and he did everything he could to keep his marriage but his ex-wife had a mental illness and divorce was the only option for him.
A4P: Did you get a chance to talk to his ex-wife?
A4P Guest: Why should I? I trust him. He told me everything.
A4P: Have you ever talked to anyone else about him and his past marriage?
A4P Guest: I don’t get it. Why should I? I trust him very much. He told me everything I need to know.
A4P: Have you told this to your families what you are telling me now?
A4P Guest: You know, my parents are from that “generation,” you know, “habesha pentes” who rebuke the devil out of everybody and bind anyone’s spirit in the name of Jesus if they think that the person is doing something they deem is wrong. So, they will drive me nuts if I tell them this, especially “divorce” part. They may drop and die, if you know what I mean.
A4P: Who do you tell it too then?
A4P Guest: You know, I don’t see any good reason to tell this to anyone. What is the benefit of telling my fiancé’s story to anyone unless I want to call for gossips and badmouthing?
A4P Guest: Do you plan to take premarital counseling before your wedding day?
A4P Guest: Since we both love reading books, we are reading a couple of books about marriage. I think we are good.
A4P: Okay, so, if you were my daughter, I would say this to you: Precious, you are heading into a deep and dark ditch you may not come out of looking what you look like now. Stop everything you do to marry him now. Instead date the man at least for a year. And while you do that, ask people who know him. Reach out to his ex-wife and ask her about their relationship. If she is unapproachable, try to find out about his past from other people. Involve people in your life, people who love you and care about you, people like your parents and friends. Ask advice from them. Then after a year, if you still want to marry him, take premarital counseling, which should take from six to eight weeks. Now I know why your soul is bugging you. Now I know why you felt restless. You should because there is nothing good in what you are doing. I see nothing good in this. Nothing is “too good to be true” here. And nothing is perfect here. Sorry for “deflating your balloons” but it is okay. Truth hurts but later heals and restores and above all, truth saves lives. May God open your eyes so you can see what is exactly happening around you. ///