A4P Guest: I have a ‘question’ and would be glad if you can say something on it. would that be ok?
A4P: Go ahead
A4P Guest: Can we say that once you get married your spiritual life goes down. Compared with what it was when u r single.
A4P: Hmm. I’m not sure what you’re saying.
A4P Guest: Hmm
A4P: If you used to pray for five hours before marriage because you had time and now you are married and someone is in your life that you don’t have five hours, in that case, yes your prayer time will be affected. It doesn’t mean that you stop praying. It just means you need to find a time to pray that fits your new lifestyle and schedule. I mean, there should be a change in your life, a big change, if you are married with a person you truly love. But your spiritual life “going down” after marriage????
Mine went up, my friend, after I got married! The same with my husband. No fighting against our sexual urges as marriage provides the God-given sexual outlet.
A4P Guest: In that aspect, you are right.
A4P: I’m actually talking in all aspects of life.
A4P Guest: I know your ministry mainly focuses on that too.
A4P: No, I don’t mean to focus on sexual part of life. Married person and single person have completely different life and I just gave one example that shows you clearly that your spiritual life actually has a good opportunity to “go up” not down. There shouldn’t be “going down” after marriage unless you start playing the Eden Garden game, which is the blame game, that goes something like, “If I wasn’t married with this person, I would have been a great Christian.” Or “If it wasn’t for the person I am married to, I would have started my own church by now,” kind of game.
A4P Guest: How do you follow Christ as a married person?
A4P: That is a million dollar question because nobody can find that answer but you since you are the only one who knows your life and the person you are married to. But let me say this in case it helps you get to the answer quickly. Some single Christian men tend to put all their eggs in one basket, and that basket is “When I get married, my life will be in a much better place than now.”
Don’t get me wrong. Your life will be better when you get married, the problem comes when the man expects his wife to be the source of everything. He expects his wife to meet all his sexual needs while he stops praying; he wants her to cheer him up, encourage and admire him every second while he is too self-centered, forgetting that she even existed. When kids come along, the problem escalates. Why? His only “life-giving line,” his wife, turns to her kids and ignores him. Then he starts missing his life as a single man. When he looks at his spiritual life, he thinks that his marriage killed it. The thing is he is the only guilty person here. He forgot his first love he had for Jesus. He replaced Jesus with a woman and now he blames the woman for his spiritual life to “go down.”
So, if you are in a similar situation, one Bible verse will answer your question: “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33
And let me tell you something here: A married man cannot grow spiritually unless he mastered the spirit of self-control that has power to tame his powerful sexual urges. If he is given to all kinds of sexual urges, lusting after every girl that passes him by, his spiritual life will definitely “go down.” But remember, his marriage has nothing to do with it.
I’m just giving you some pointers which may help you arrive to the right answer.
But in short, no, marriage won’t make a person’s spiritual life to go down. Marriage actually helps your spiritual life to thrive by mainly providing a God-given “sexual-outlet.” That is a chunk of a man’s life. If his sexual life is taken care of, what is there to pull his spiritual life down?
Hope these pointers help you get to the answer. ///