Dating Principles of a Christian Man

It wouldn’t be fair to give dating principles for girls and forget about young men. I mean, I have two young men here in my house. So, here are the five basic dating principles I share with them:

  1. Don’t make any promise to your girl that you know for sure you won’t keep, including the simple ones, such as, “I will call you tonight before you go to bed.” If you are always hearing the famous “You never keep your promises” statement from different people, don’t expect to become a different person with your girl. Girls usually take their man’s word like God’s word – they believe it with all their hearts! And when you say “I will call you tonight,” she thinks that she heard her phone ring even when the dog simply barks. She seriously waits for you. If you don’t call her that day, don’t expect the same loving girl to come to the next date. You don’t want her to nag you about you not keeping your promises, do you? I don’t think so. So, just follow this simple rule of thumb: Don’t promise her anything. Just surprise her with your call and say, “Hey Beautiful! I just wanted to say good night before you go to bed.” That will make her whole heart yours alone.
  2. Let her know you. If you only talk about Jesus, she only knows about Jesus, not you. She should of course know about Jesus, but you probably want her to marry you, not Jesus. So, while you let her pastor teach her about Jesus, teach her about you, who you really are, and your struggles and your backgrounds, so that she knows how to prepare herself to live with you for the rest of her life.
  3. Do not lie to her. Do you know why? Well, it is not your lie that is dangerous here (I mean, it still is), but the most dangerous thing is this: She will believe your lie and she will hold you accountable even after you turn 50. She ain’t gonna let you go free. So, be very careful. Sadly, most men lie to their girls and they live their married lives eating the fruits of their lie. For example, a young man lies to his girl saying, “I want to open my own company so that you don’t have to work. I will buy you nice car and – – -.” Then the girl decides to “put all her eggs in one basket” and marry him. After that, whether the man gets five masters or seven doctorates, it means nothing to her until the man opens his own company. So, watch out!
  4. Most men tend to be attracted to a woman whose spiritual life doesn’t intimidate them. After they start dating her, they expect her to not to respond to their advances. But you, man of God, instead of expecting your girl to be more spiritual than you and lead the way to a sexually pure dating, you better put your boundary lines in place to save yourself and your girl from falling into a sexually immoral dating style. Instead of expecting her to say, “Put your hands off of my body,” teach yourself how to keep your hands to yourself.
  5. Avoid talking to your girl about sex. That is like a tiny cat licking the nose of a sleeping lioness and expecting the lioness not to kill her! Remember, your sexual nature is like a sleeping lioness and you who choose to talk about sex is a tiny cat. You can’t talk about sex and at the same time try to keep your sexual integrity. When you talk about sex with the girl you are attracted to, your brain, especially your frontal brain, stops functioning properly, makes you forget your God, as well as His word, and focus only on sex. That is why even the Word of God doesn’t command you to sit there and rebuke the devil in the name of Jesus; rather, the Word of God says, “Run away!” “Flee!” (1 Corinthians 6:18a)

As a single man, if you train yourself up how to do dating in sexual purity (mastering the spirit of self-control), as a married man and a head of your household, you will be a warrior in a spiritual world and rescue a generation. ///