A4P Guest: I’m 37 years old. I got married a couple years ago. My wife is pretty and has lots of good qualities such as she is a very hard worker, she keeps her home in order and she goes to school part-time and she always gets good grades; but she has this problem: She is very stubborn. If she says something, I have to agree with her or take a hike. She doesn’t change her mind whether the issue is a minor or a major one. Early on in our marriage, it didn’t bother me that much but now, the baby being on the way; it is bothering me a lot. Missy, we are pretty much fighting and arguing about everything. She made my life very difficult. What should I do?
A4P: Was she stubborn when you guys were dating?
A4P Guest: Yes, she was. Even for our wedding ceremony, she was the only one who decided where to do the wedding, who to invite and not to invite. I had no say in anything. It is just impossible to make her change her mind. Missy, my wife’s stubborn beyond measure.
A4P: So, it is not something that all of a sudden appeared in your marriage after two years of marriage, am I right?
A4P Guest: Correct.
A4P: Why did you marry her then knowing that she was stubborn and didn’t give you a chance to make a call when you needed to?
A4P Guest: During that time, I thought it was not that much of a big deal; but now I realized that it is a big deal and it is causing me stomach pain and headache almost every day because I know that I literally argue with her about everything; including when and how to have sex. Missy, I hate my life.
A4P: Was there any sexual contact between you and her before marriage?
A4P Guest: Well, yes, but we’ve already confessed our sin and repented of our sin.
A4P: Of course you have; but the damage has already been done. Sin blinded you to the fact and preached to you saying, “Stubborn woman is a romantic woman. You have nothing to worry about; you can afford to let her make all the calls and life will be a smooth ride.”
A4P Guest: I know. I see that now clearly.
A4P: But, hey, don’t lose heart. You are in it now and don’t let yourself dwell on other alternatives to solve this, such as through divorce. Rather, seek counseling and/or attend marriage seminars together.
A4P Guest: Okay, thank you; but pray for me so that she won’t refuse to go for counseling or attend marriage seminars. One day one preacher came to our church and taught about the role of a wife and the role of a husband and he almost defined her when he gave example of a rebellious wife. And from that day on, she always speaks against anyone who teaches/preaches about marriage. I’m stuck here and I feel so suffocated. ///
Two Important Disclaimers:
1. The purpose of the above post is only to create awareness in the area of dating and courting. It is not in any way, shape or form a reflection of the whole counseling sessions. “Why are you asking him about his past mistakes? He can’t do anything about them. Tell him what he can do today to save his marriage today, don’t judge and condemn him about his past mistakes. He might have been a “baby” in Christ at that time” kinds of comments are irrelevant given the purpose of this post.
2. Every story you read on this page is tailored in a way to cover the identity of the person who gave us permission to share their stories with you.