Concern and/or Question

“Somebody invited me to your page like a month ago. I read some of your articles and I think I like some of them but whenever I read what you’ve been writing about men, I sometimes cringe a little because some of the things you are saying, things such as “most men are colorblind” don’t represent me nor men in my life. So, I can’t help but think if you are saying those things about the men in your life than men in general. And if so, I think it is wise for you to say, “The men in my life are colorblind” or something similar. So, let me ask you “Are you talking about men in your life or men in general?” I hope you won’t get offended by me asking this question.

I love your question because it gives me a wonderful opportunity to address similar “unwritten or unspoken” questions of many people.

Do I get offended? Not really! Do I get motivated by questions like this? You bet I do! So, keep them coming, lol!

First, thank you for liking my page and ministry and hope you stick around for the long haul!

Second, whenever I begin a statement with, “some” or “most,” I rarely think the men in my life. Actually if I start writing about the men in my life, I may lose you and many men out there because they may not represent many.

So, instead of writing about the men in my life, I try my best to paraphrase what I read and heard about the study findings of different researchers and try to present them as practical as possible. Did these findings make my life and marriage better? You bet they did (and still do) and that is why I’m sharing them on the page so that some may benefit from them.

But whenever I write or speak, I resist the temptation of making statements such as: “Copy my sons’ daily physical exercise routine” even if I know that exercise is very good for your spiritual and physical health.

So, if I write, “Some research findings show that most normal and healthy 28 years old men think about sex every 7 to 8 minutes,” and if you are 28 years old and think about sex every minute, this research finding is not talking about you. It is talking about other men but it still gives you a bird-eye-view of men’s sexuality in general. It helps you to address this issue with other men who may struggle to understand their sexuality. So, listen, ask and read for the sake of others if not for yourself.

If I write, “most men are colorblind or they don’t relate to color as affectionately as many women”, again, if you love blue and yellow color and love to wear pink twice a week because you feel like it spices up your day, that statement is not talking about you. But again it helps you understand other men. For example, if a wife comes to you and complains about her husband saying, “My husband purposely messed up my clothes when he did laundry yesterday,” you will say, “I don’t think he did it purposely. Maybe he cares little about color.”

And that information may comfort her as you help her see her situation from a different angle.

So, my advice for you is this: if you read something on my page which doesn’t represent you and the people in your life, move on to the next article or read it for the sake of someone else. If you want to know more about it, do your own small research and find a way to share your opposing or similar findings with others.

By the way, do you know how many articles I so far posted on this page? More than 200! I am sure you can find one or more than one articles you can relate to.

The goal is not to put men and women in two different boxes and say, “Hooray! We now pinned down the mind of God when it comes to gender difference.” Oh, no! Who can fathom the mind of God? No one! And I don’t think any educated person, whether Christian or non-Christian, makes such a claim.

Whenever you read or hear research findings or inferred conclusion about society or gender, take the info with a grain of salt. It is really good to question the findings and try to get to the bottom of it but just because it doesn’t feel like it is representing you and your situation or the people in your life doesn’t make a statement “right or wrong.”

One last point, it is always good to hear or read something which may not really address our life or our natural bent because we never know who God is going to bring into our life.

So, let’s study, be eager to know new things, read and always choose to listen than speak for our own sake or for sake of someone else. Take care! ///