Tag Archives: Family

CG-STAT, Sexual Purity, Singles

My Berhan’s answer to: What does “I release my wife to the Work of God” mean?

Hello A4P supporters and fans… this is Berhan (Missy’s Husband). I noticed how the YouTube post of a clip from a Sunday service at IEEC where I gave a "lengthy" (don’t laugh now) speech has gotten quite a reception from y’all. I wanted to take another opportunity, here on A4P’s status, and iterate how I whole heartedly support the mission and passion that GOD has placed on my lovely wife, Missy.

Missy’s mission to battle the enemy head-on, for a sexually pure heart and mind of GOD’s people, is so timely, crucial and pivotal to help us reach and experience the life that GOD desires and commands us to have.
Continue reading My Berhan’s answer to: What does “I release my wife to the Work of God” mean? →

Sexual Purity, single

Eternity as a Circle or Horizontal Line

Some people say, “If eternity is like Atlantic Ocean, our life on earth is like a drop from that big Ocean.”

Well, how do you see a drop? As a circle, don’t you? And a circle is a closed shape. There is no continuity to it. It starts at one point, goes around 360 degrees and ends where it starts.

But for me personally, I don’t see my eternal and present life like a circle but as a horizontal line and I will tell you why.
Continue reading Eternity as a Circle or Horizontal Line →

CG-STAT, Sexual Purity, Singles

Not a curse for a Wife to Sexually desire her Husband

If I’m not mistaken, I wrote about this topic few months ago but it came to my attention in a different way and I want to say a word or two about it again.

So, after Adam and Eve sinned against God, God cursed them. Here is the last part of the curse God put on the woman.

To the woman God said, “- – – Your desire will be for your husband – – -.” Genesis 3:16

Hmm . . . what does that sound like? Is she cursed to sexually desire her husband?
Continue reading Not a curse for a Wife to Sexually desire her Husband →

CG-STAT, Sexual Purity, Singles

One Truth worth Noticing

Sexual immorality seems to be the number one sin to catch us all off-guard more times than the other sins. There can be many reasons for it but the one reason that comes to my mind is this: We are prone to sexual sin because we are sexual beings!

You see, we are not naturally created to kill; or to steal. We are not fashioned by God to go around and drink somebody else’s blood. No, we are not.

But we are created and fashioned by God to be sexual beings, so that we have all we need to have sex.

That by itself makes us all vulnerable to fall into sexual sin. But knowing that fact shouldn’t encourage us all to say, “Oh, well, here we go again; Let me jump in it because it is meant to be like this” because as we are created to be sexual beings, do you know that we are also originally created to be sexually pure beings?

Yes, we are created for sexual purity not for sexual immorality. That is why our whole life gets disrupted when we miss the mark of purity. When we turn to sexual impurity, our mind, soul, spirit can’t get anything right. They all get misaligned and we try everything to calm them down but nothing can clam them all down but sexual purity because we are created for sexual purity. Our nature is ONLY COMPATIBLE WITH SEXUAL PURITY because we are created in God’s likeness and image which is always and only compatible with holiness and purity.

The image we may seem to lost it because of Adam is ours through Christ Jesus. His grace and spirit are with us to bring that likeness and image back to us.

"For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son" Romans 8:29a – Did you hear that?

Listen what Jesus is saying to you and me: "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with Me." Revelation 3:20

Isn’t that beautiful! Jesus is inviting you and I to the ONENESS of holiness; so that we take His image and likeness!

He is calling you through this post!

Don’t wait until you get it all right because you will never get it right without Jesus.

Will you respond to Him? Will you open the door of your heart for Jesus to come in? Do you take Him in? Do you receive Him into your life and make Him the LORD and King of your sexual life which is the ligament that holds all your other life areas?

If your response is "Yes," inbox me and I will contact you so that we can pray together. ///

CG-STAT, Sexual Purity, Singles

Question of the day!

Thank you again, my friend, for saying “Yes” for me to share your question with others!

A4P Guest: Saturday night, my husband and I were at the restaurant and we kissed in the middle of our candle light dinner. And one of my church members happened to be at the restaurant and I didn’t see her. So, yesterday at church, she called me to the bathroom and said to me, “We Christians are not supposed to do such kind of thing in public.” I was very mad at her because she accused me as if I kissed some other man who was not married to me. So, I said to her, “He is my husband and I can do whatever I want with him” and I left the bathroom. Afterward, I felt bad for saying that to her. Why did I feel bad? I mean he is my husband and the lady knows that. BTW, this particular lady is the one I respect very highly in our church but at that moment, I didn’t have any respect for her and I guess I had an attitude too when I responded back to her. What is your take on this? Am I wrong to kiss my husband in public?

A4P: Kissing your husband is a holy thing as long as you are conscious of your surroundings. We, Christians, are called to live for others’ conscience.

This is what the Bible says: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. – – – But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:1, 13b

You have freedom to do whatever you want but up to a certain extent or boundaries and one of those boundaries are called love (and we have to avoid those things which don’t edify and build us – 1 Corinthians 10:23).

As long as you do it in your private bedroom, you can kiss your husband in whatever ways you want to. But outside, in the open air, I advise you to stay away from those kinds of kisses which make others “cringe” not because you have no freedom to do so but because some people may not have freedom to see you doing that and accept and consider you as a child of God. Their conscience may not have that much freedom on that particular area.

And to tell you the truth, why do you want to expose your private joy to the whole world? Keep it private and you will have a lasting joy. Kiss your husband outside the house but not like “French kissing” kind of kiss. Keep that for your bedroom.

I also have a problem with the way you responded back to the woman. You see, you felt bad afterward because of the Holy Spirit who is inside you. He grieves in our spirit when we hurt others. That woman may know five thousand Bible verses but when it comes to romance, she might be from the old school who condemns any romantic love as a sin. Or, she might have the most unromantic husband ever; or she may not have a good marriage. But whatever her reason could be, don’t judge her because she is not free like you. Love her and approach her in love and respect. Invite her to read what you’ve been reading. If she is resistance, leave her alone. We can’t demand from others the same kind of understanding we have.

St. Paul didn’t eat meat throughout his Christian life. Do you know why? Because some of the people around him were not eating meat as a sign of their devotion to God and they couldn’t consider a person as a Christian if they saw him eating meat. Because of that he said “no more” for eating meat so that he wouldn’t be a stumbling block for others around him.

Listen what he said: “Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall.” 1 Corinthians 8:13

That is the call of Christ for all of us! That is my take on the issue.

Take care,
In Him, Missy.

P. S. Remember, I’m not advising you to live in fear of others; losing every freedom you have in Christ but I’m advising to love and respect others. Fear of man is a snare which paralyses you to do anything as the Bible says: “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25

CG-STAT, Sexual Purity, Singles

A person with a teachable spirit has the following qualities:

He sits to learn.

He doesn’t run around. He sits to learn!

He considers himself to be just like a child who doesn’t know anything.

When he sits to learn, he surrenders his knowledge, empties himself as if he didn’t have any knowledge.

A child of God hears with an open mind to catch those which may not agree with the Word of God and to let go those which don’t agree with the Word of God.

Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3

Jesus said that to those who were thinking and analyzing what they were listening and seeing according to the world they knew; not according to what Jesus was telling them. Actually Jesus said that to His own Disciples who were with Him, 24/7. Why? They were the ones who came to “the church” to the gathering, thinking that they knew it all; they figured it all out!

He asked us to “become!” Becoming is a process; an active process of change! A process one has to consciously and purposely choose to be!

Jesus said to His Disciples, be like a child. Children are always eager to learn so that they can copy and do it exactly as they learn. That is why they tend to ask adults this question: “Do it again!”

I wish I had that attitude to say to God, “Tell me again so that I know that You my God will never forget nor forsake me” instead of going around with fear of being alone, without a Shepherd!

Oh, LORD, give us a teachable spirit! A spirit that says, “I know nothing! Teach me again!”///

Family

“Who is God for you?”

A4P Guest: “Who is God for you?”

A4P: Well, it depends on which god you’re referring to. Whenever I get asked like that, I can’t help but think how the person who asked me that question is expecting me to answer.

The word “god” can mean so many things for so many people. Some people want to think of God as “Santa”, the one who always gives gifts (without demanding anything), the one who overlooks all wrong doings; the one who always smiles, gives kisses, hugs and gifts, raises up the dead so that he won’t see anybody crying, and etc; just like the Genie in a bottle.

Some see God as the one who forgives without holding one responsible and accountable. If you say to them, “God disciplines His children” according to Hebrews 12:4-6, they give you a kind of look that says, “You are from the 1st century Christianity, aren’t you?” They won’t listen to you because they think that discipline is needed for Satan not for them.

If you tell them that, “God is a consuming fire,” as it is written in the Bible (Hebrews 12:29), they will say to you, “That nature of God is only for the Old Testament people and for the devil not for us who live in the New Testament”.

There are others who see God as the one with a long white beard, sitting on a big throne, holding a rod on his hand (a star at the tip of the rod), ready to "zap" anyone who goes out of line.

But the truth of the matter is there is only One God and that God is the God of the Bible and that God ain’t “Santa!” nor a Gene in a bottle whose job is to bring people’s wishes, dreams and fantasies into a false reality. He is not a god with a rod either.

The God of the Bible can’t be compared to Santa or Genie or anything and anybody. He can’t be defined and explained by human intelligence or fluency.

When Moses asked God what His name was, God said “I AM WHO I AM” (Exodus 3:14). Whatever He said He is, that is His Name and that is who He is and that my dear never changes in the Old as well as in the New Testament. We cannot separate God and His Word. The moment we do that, we will be guilty of heresy.

So, that will bring me to my short answer to your short question: For me, God is who He said He is in the Bible! ///

CG-STAT, Sexual Purity, Singles

– – – because They belong to Me!

Sitting down on the bench and watching my kids play sport is something I enjoy to do. I sometimes choose to stand than sit.

Do I shout and scream? You better believe it! The funny thing is I sometimes shout saying things like, “Don’t let them pass you!” Or “Kick the ball!” And my Berhan whispers in my ears saying, “They can’t kick the ball in that position.”

What position is that? The thing is I don’t get all the rules and regulations soccer game has! All I know is points have to be made for my kid’s team to win. And as far as I’m concerned, they have to push the ball to the goal whichever way they have to.

Last week, my youngest son’s team lost four to one. “That is not good” you may say, but for me, I was more than happy. Do you know why? Well, it was my son who made that one goal. You can’t believe how happy I was.

Last Monday, after I flew back from Minnesota, I directly went to my older son’s Junior Varsity soccer game. My! My! My! That is what I’m talking about! That was the GAME! They won seven to one!

I’m not lying when I say this but throughout the game, I didn’t see any of the players except my son. If he turned towards to the side I was sitting, I ran to him holding cool Gatorade and water bottles on my hands, thinking he might be thirsty. I was on a “stand by” mode to take care of my son’s needs so that he would stay on “the game”.

Sitting on a side, watching my older son play, I heard his coach calling my son’s name and saying, “Nice move! Nice move!” I didn’t even notice “the move” the coach referring to but I clapped for my son and looked around to see if other parents have noticed my son’s “move”.

Oh, how I love watching my kids play! I love seeing their teams win! Why? Because they are my kids! They belong to me! They are mine! They are my little ones! Their victory is my victory! Their joy is my joy! And their loss is also my loss!

So, last Monday, thinking how happy I was seeing my son’s team win, all of a sudden, I began to see myself “doing” life on this side of heaven and my God watching all my "doings". I felt like my God was watching, cheering and clapping for me when I made “a goal.” When I turned down an invitation to sin against my God, I saw my God standing and clapping for me. I saw Him looking around to see if someone had noticed His daughter turning the invitation down and making “the goal” in the enemy’s team.

Why? Because I’m His daughter and He is my Dad! I belong to Him and He belongs to me! My joy is His joy! My sadness is His sadness!

Then I realized at that moment that my God loves watching me do life. God watches over me 24/7. If I am in need, He is there to provide for me so that I stay on “the game” of life and bring Him all the glory and praise!

I can’t tell you how comforting for me to know that God watches over me 24/7 because sometimes I feel like I’m doing life all alone, fighting my enemy all by myself! But the truth of the matter is I’m not alone! God is with me.

The Bible says,

“ The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.” (Psalms 121:5-8)

Yes, you and I belong to God because we belong to Jesus Christ! Because we belong to Him, God watches over us 24/7. He claps for us when we say “No” to sin! He rejoices with us when you and I make a “goal,” walk in righteousness and inherit the peace and joy He promised to give to us! And our God gets hurt when we choose to sin against Him because He knows that sin hurts us really bad!

Did Satan convince you that you are all alone, no one to watch over you? Don’t listen to him anymore. He is a liar! You are not alone! God is with you and in you! He watches over you! Don’t live in sin as if you had no God! You have a powerful God in your team! He is there to help you to say “No” to sin. Get up, stay in the game, make a goal and bring to your God all the glory and praise! ///

Family

“How can I change my husband?”

A4P Guest: I’ve been married for three years now. My husband and I have a one year old son. My husband is a good Christian man and I always strive to be the best wife to my husband and the best mother to our son. I attend church regularly and read lots of books about marriage, family and relationship. My husband one the other hand does nothing when it comes to trying to learn about me, how to do marriage and raise kids. I bought some books for him to read so that he could understand me but he refused to read or go to marriage seminars. How can I convince him to read books and attend marriage seminars?

A4P: Early on in my marriage, I used to buy books about marriage and read them from cover to cover (which I still do). I used to “nag” my Berhan to read all the books I was reading. But I realized that he didn’t like to read books. So I came up with strategies to convince him to read all the books I wanted him to read.

So, my strategies were first, pouting, second, preaching. trying to tell him how God wants him to read and learn about me and marriage; and my third strategy was leaving a book about marriage open on his bedside. When I leave the book on his bedside, I make sure that the book is open on the page where it says something like, “Everything you need to know about your wife”.

I quickly learned that those three strategies were actually the lamest strategies ever! They made the situation worse, especially my first strategy (pouting). My Berhan TOTALLY avoided books, even to look at their covers. And my “preaching” and leaving the books open on his bedside I realized were doing more damage to my marriage than any good.

So I changed my strategy. Instead of trying to teach and change my Berhan, I concentrated on changing me. Instead of trying to “preach” to him how the authors said about wives and killing my husband’s interest to know about me, I turned the “radar” on me.

I slowly trained myself to close “my big mouth” when it comes to preaching to him. I also got my acts together and stopped pouting. I took those “sarcastic” statements out of my conversation and started to focus on changing my character and attitude towards him.

When I did that, what I found in me was literally “ugly.” I realized that I only knew most of the Bible verses about what a wife should be mentally. I never challenged myself to put them into practice. I came to know that I was the most hypocrite wife ever.

So I “zoomed in” into my heart and as the same time, I “zoomed out” of my husband’s personal life (which I still strive to do). I gave him full autonomy to do whatever he wanted and chose to do.

Then I began sharing with him, not what a husband should be to his wife but what a wife should be to her husband. I began to ask him to help me in the area of respecting him and submitting myself to his leadership (which I still strive to do). And I was doing all these things having only one goal in mind: To change myself so that I would be a “suitable helper” to him.

Oh, my dear sister, listen what the Bible says:

“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” 1 Peter 3:1-2

Did you see that? Pay attention to these words: "won over;" "without words;" "by the behavior of their wives" "when they see the purity and reverence of" their wives’ life.

Oh, my dear sister, the Word of God works! It is spirit; it is alive! It does wonders if you take it as it is and put it into practice (Hebrews 4:12). The grace and mercy of God is with us to help us do just that.

As I learned to let the "information" I got from the Word of God transform my life, my marriage took a different turn!

Now, my Berhan and I read books turn by turn. Now our understanding of what marriage is and what our spousal roles are on the same page. I know he has deeper understanding of the Word of God than me. I don’t get threatened by it, rather, I get blessed and benefited by it every day as I learn from him how to apply the Word of God into my life.

What am I saying to you then?

Precious, God didn’t call you and I to change our husbands but to INFLUENCE them by the purity and reverence of our lives. Focus on your own role as a wife and a mother.

Assuming that there is no emotional, mental and spiritual abuse in your marriage, I advise you to leave your husband alone so that his own God deals with him. Leave the way for God to come to his heart as you deal with your own heart and motive. Then you sure will start to see how your transformed and renewed attitude and character attract your husband not towards you but towards to God who in turn is going to push him towards you, his wife!

Isn’t that awesome! Yes, it is! God’s Word is True! It works! Go ahead and try it! This is the safest strategy you can try in your home and marriage starting from today. ///

Singles

Funny but – – –

Somebody sent me this picture like few minutes ago. I already posted this back in January or February. But this time, it is with picture and I like it. So, I want to share it with you.

Note: This picture might be funny but it might be a prophecy where we are heading into.

Please, don’t depend on online relationship! Open your eyes and look around you. There are people you can relate to and even marry. The devil always wants us to look far away so that we believe that there is somebody out there who can bring our fantasy into a reality.

As God said to Moses, "What is that in your hand," (Exodus 4:2), pay attention to the person God put next to you, in your church, Bible study gathering or in your neighborhood. ///