Cues A Woman Sends to A Man

God is the Creator of the Universe! He is the Creator of us too!

The word of God says,

“God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; . . . God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” Genesis 1:26, 27NASB

When we say, “God is our Creator,” we’re in a way saying that only God can write the right manual for us to know how to do life in this world. Manufacturer’s Manual is something we always get with, for example, the home appliances or the car we buy, so we know how we can best use them.

In the same way, we have a Maker and our Maker, God, gave us a “Manufacturer’s Manual” – the Bible – the Word of God.

As a woman, when she reads the Bible, she finds her true, God-given worth as a woman. When she knows of her true worth, she exhibits her worth in everything she does and says, including in life major life decision making processes, for example, choosing a life-partner, a man to marry.

Notice, I didn’t say, “finding a life-partner,” but “choosing a life-partner,” because a woman is created to be found in a man, not the other way round. The Bible says,

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22ESV

A man looks for a woman to marry because the man is the only one who “lost” a rib, not a woman. The Bible says, “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman – – -” Genesis 2:21-22ESV

When it comes to a woman, the Bible says,

“For a man – – – is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man.” 1 Corinthians 11:7NASB

A woman is the glory of man! A woman does not look for a man so he would be her glory. A man is not the glory of a woman; rather a woman is to a man. So, a man searches for his glory.

A woman learns from Scriptures that she is not a creature that any man can pick and take. She has her own worth, without a man, by being a creature of God. Where does she find her worth? In the Creator’s Manual, the Bible. This Manual says,

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30NASB

When a woman fears God, she knows and understands that there is no safety for her apart from the word of God. As she abides in the word of God, she will have an abiding, lasting and permanent hidden beauty that lives on in her (1 Peter 3:1-4).

If a Christian woman does not know her worth according to the Bible, she naturally, unconsciously tries to present her worth to a man by sending many different and dangerous cues.

Here are some of them:

  1. “I am Madonna!”

This single Christian woman finds her worth in what she wears and has. She wants the clothes she wears and the car she drives to make statements. She thinks she is a modern feminist Christian woman (which is an oxymoron because feminism and Christianity are two contradictory terms). The cue she sends to a man is, “I am a high maintenance woman. If you cannot afford to have me, please excuse yourself.”

A man who likes this kind of challenge from a woman presents himself as capable of having her and this Christian woman may end up marrying this man who can give everything she wants except love, care and respect. He sees her as a person he rents for money. Degrading!

2. “I am a Virgin”

This Christian woman puts her worth in her physical virginity. So, when she meets a potential man, she finds a way to tell him that she is a virgin. She sends a cue that says, “If you marry me, you will find a virgin girl!”

Then the young man pants after that girl and pursues her to marry her. What is his goal? To find her virginity! After that? She becomes a main care-giver to her whole family. Then she starts complaining, “He doesn’t romance me as he used to! He is careless for me. He doesn’t even know if I exist.”  Why does he? The cue he got was, “I am a virgin.” Now she is not. Very dangerous!

It is priceless and incalculable for a woman to stay virgin till marriage however if she is not fighting to also keep her soul, emotion and mind from things which defile her, her physical virginity won’t bring her anything before or after marriage. But if she pursues purity as she abides in the word of God, the cue she sends to a man is not “I am a virgin,” but “I am a soldier of Christ. Are you?”

3. “I am looking for a Christian man to marry”

This is a good life motto for every Christian single girl to have. But when she is asked why she wants a Christian man to marry, her reply may sound like, “Because I am a Christian and the Bible says, don’t marry unbelievers.”

Wrong reply!

If a Christian single girl who strives to live and abide in the word of God, her reply to the above question would be something like this: “I abide in the word of God. Unless a man abides in the word of God, we cannot live in peace and love. It is like living in two different countries, speaking completely different languages according to 2 Corinthians 6:14-18.”

If she has no understanding of the word of God why she shouldn’t marry a man who is not a Christian, she marries any man who is a  fluent speaker of “Christianize” but has absolutely no relationship with Christ. This kind of man only knows how to impress a woman with his Christianize accent, not how to love, respect and treasure a woman according to her God-given worth because he has no clue what the Bible says about a woman.

4. “I am the Mother Theresa”

This single Christian woman is naturally a giving person. She sends cues to a man that says something like, “I am the second Mother Theresa who will be there for you when you need help to do your laundry, vacuum clean your apartment, cook healthy meals for you since you are too busy with school and work.” So, she covers most of his expenses so that he wouldn’t get stressed by too many expenses.

If this woman convinces this man to marry her (in most cases she does because most men are lazy and they want a person who does all these things for them), she will automatically be his mama! He will be her son and she will be his mother.

Every man loves his mama! He wants to keep his mama but at the same time, he looks for a woman whom he can romance. This is very dangerous for the woman!

5. “I am a Salvation Army”

This single Christian woman has so much experience in being a Christian that she has tons of confidence in her ability to salvage a man from his sinful and destructive habits by being a “Christ-like” example to him.

She prays and fasts hard for his well-being and his conviction. So, any man who wants to have her knows how to play this “baby-game.” He stops smoking and drinking the day he sees her. She thinks her prayers and fasting bring miracles from God.

If he cheats on her, she forgives him because she wants to show him how Christ is forgiving! If he hits her, she goes to him saying, “Even if you don’t ask me to forgive you, I forgive you,” to show him how Christians should do (by the way this is unbiblical!).

After marriage, for her nightmare, she comes to realize that the changes she thought she brought in his her man’s life evaporates in thin air and realities will set it. Sure, changes that the Holy Spirit didn’t bring in a man’s life will not last. Tragedy!

6. “I am a Police Officer”

This Christian single woman sends this cue to a man: “Remember, I hate lying! If you lie to me or cheat on me, you will automatically be out of my life!” As if to say, I make rules and have the capacity to enforce them all.

She threatens and warns! This young woman probably grew up in a home where the mother is the leader/the head of the whole family (dictatorship – only rules no relationship). All her children, boys and girls, fear her, including her husband. This girl, as she grew up, obeyed her mom out of fear and she unknowingly adapted her mom’s style as the best style to take control of her husband’s life as well as her children so that everybody in the house will be safe, including her. What she didn’t know is that her dad and most of her brothers and sisters did everything behind her mom playing with her mom “hide and seek.”

And the main problem with this cue is that it brings tension and strife into a relationship. This in turn brings screaming and shouting as the best tools to take control of everybody. So, this woman screams and shouts and sometimes becomes physical to get full control of her husband’s and children’s lives. This is dangerous for mental and emotional health for her husband, children and for her included.

The word of God says,

“There is a way which seems right to a man,
But its end is the way of death.” Proverbs 14:12NASB

But God’s way, a righteous way, striving to lead life according to the word of God always leads us to live, not death!

“In the way of righteousness is life,
And in its pathway there is no death.” Proverbs 12:28NASB ///