Hooray! 2nd day of celebration of our 25th marriage anniversary!
You know, it is still amazing for me that this is indeed our 25th year! My! May our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, be praised in and through us forever!
You have no idea how I love the picture I am sharing with you today!
If you ask me, I would say, this is my number one favorite picture of Berhan and I. Yes, it is!
Let me share with you a story behind this beautiful picture. By the way, I am fishing out all our old pictures from my kids. Can you believe this? They are the ones who have special ones. I have no idea where the original picture of this picture I am sharing with you today. My son cropped it and the tip of the temple is not showing in this picture.
Well, it is Taj Mahal found in Agra, India. You can read more about it online. The year was 1993 summer.
My Berhan and I were dating back in Ethiopia. I knew him first when I was 17 years old. And I decided to marry him the day I saw him. That is so embarrassing because by that time, my Berhan was not even thinking of dating me , let alone marrying me. But me, I wanted to marry him. He was muscle from the top of his head to his toes and that attracted me so much that I wanted to sleep on his shoulders every night. Hahahahaha! I had many crazy ideas back then. I think I still have crazy ideas.
Anyways, after he called and talked to me on the phone for a while – I think we talked on the phone for 100 years, as it felt for me at the time – he asked me out and I agreed. I am still surprised that I didn’t jump on him and asked him to marry me. Well, I did not. I am so glad I didn’t. Can you imagine the embarrassment and shame! Anyways, little after we started dating, his parents sent him to America and my parents sent me to India for school.
Well, I right away joined a small international church where I heard the Gospel for the first time and gave my life to Christ. Then I right away joined the Ethiopians Christian small fellowship and they welcomed me. They asked me if I had a boyfriend and I didn’t lie. And they pretty much told me to say goodbye to my boyfriend because in Christianity, as they say, “There is no dating, especially dating with unbelievers. Leave behind everything that belonged to your past life.”
So, as Elisha slaughtered his yoked oxen before he went to serve Elijah, the man of God (1 King 19:21), I too wanted to “slaughter” my relationship with my boyfriend for the glory of God. My best friends encouraged me to do that (by the way, all these friends of mine are on this page, reading this post and I am eternally grateful to each one of them! Because of them, I learned that Christianity was not a religion but a relationship with Jesus Christ. So, I am indebted to each one of them!)
So, I called my poor boyfriend who was in America, finishing his first engineering degree from University of Maryland. I said to him, “You and I cannot be together anymore because I am a Christian now.”
He was like, “What were you before?”
He asked me that because while we were in Ethiopia, he knew that I was a serious follower of an Orthodox Religion, carry “ነጠላ” in my pursue so I put on my “ነጠላ” and go and kiss the wall, the door and the floor of the church whenever we passed through the Sare Bete Beserate Gabriel Church (that was the area I was born and raised).
So, to his “What were you before” question, I replied to him, “You don’t understand if I tell you. But you and I are through.”
And he said, “Okay,” and the call ended. I think my heart skipped a beat or two at this moment but I had to show a joyful face to my friends. Both my knees were shaking. And deep down in my heart, I was thinking, “Really? He is not going to beg me or something?” Nothing! The call ended! My two best friends, whom I still love and treasure the most, congratulated me and they admired my courage and my devotion to the Lord.
But deep down, I was very sad, wanted to cry. I lost the man of my dream. I have never thought of a man for a marriage except him and I just lost him.
Naturally my Berhan is not an emotional person. Whatever the case maybe, he is calm and handles issues with focused mind. Now you know one of the reasons why I still love this man.
I still remember the day and time. It was on Wednesday in the afternoon. Then within 15 minutes, my Love called back and said, “I will be in New Delhi on Friday.”
I am still surprised how my heart instantly exploded out of excitement when I heard those words but my friends who were cheering me up were next to me. So I hid my emotion well and I asked him, “Why?”
He replied: “Whatever you said to me on the phone, I want you to say it looking at my eyes. In that way, I will leave you alone and won’t bother you again.”
As if I was tired of him, I reluctantly said, “Okay, if you want to,” with a tone that says, “If you think that will make a difference in my decision, you can but nothing can change my decision.” And the call ended.
I said to my friends, “Can you believe this? He said he is coming this Friday,” I think I also added, I don’t know why he wants to waste his time. But deep down, there is a big party going on in my heart. My soul was dancing on the dance floor of its own making.
To make a long story short, my Berhan came to India, carrying clothes and shoes for me. The clothes you see on the picture are the ones he brought. On the original picture, you can see my shoes too, a beautiful pair of tennis shoes he brought me. I was 93 pounds. Those shorts were on me because of the belt. I was tiny.
Did we discuss about going into our separate ways?
Are you kidding?
I missed seeing him and he missed seeing me. The next day we went to the American Embassy to see if he could apply for a visit visa for me. Then we went to a gold shop and he bought me a promised ring (I still have the ring but does not fit me anymore and I don’t want to resize it. I want to keep it in its original size).
Then we went to Taj Mahal and took this picture and many more (I don’t know where the other pictures went. Thanks to our little one, Biruk (19), who saved this one!)
My Berhan stayed 17 days. I stayed with him in a hotel all those 17 days. I was very happy to see him but at the same time, I was totally confused and bewildered! Without any exaggeration, I spent most of those days crying.
He was asking me, “Why are you crying?”
I struggled to tell him the reasons because I too was not really sure why. He was saying to me things like, “You met a wrong crowd. They lied to you, am I right?” And pointing to the Bible, “Is this the book that made you like this?” Remember, my Berhan is not naturally a rough person and he was not harsh with me. He was tenderly asking me.
But no response, only sobbing! I tried to defend my faith but I had no knowledge. He was asking me questions that I couldn’t give any answer to. The Bible was a foreign book for me as well at that time but not Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ was the Man I was deeply in love with. And I felt like I had to choose between these two men, knowing that I couldn’t keep both of them in my tiny heart at the same time. But who would I say goodbye to?
To Jesus? To my Berhan? To who?
When he sleeps, I sneak out of the bed and fall on the floor, crying. Why? I didn’t know but I knew I missed Jesus and I knew that I was outside His will. I was so scared but didn’t know what to do.
I was born again and I didn’t know what to make of all the things that were going on in me. I was a new creation in Christ and everything that used to feel fun was not fun to me anymore at all but a source of pain and despair. I had no one to mentor me or guide me.
Jesus said to Nicodemus:
“Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council. He came to Jesus at night and said, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him.”
Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.”
“How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!”
Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”” John 3:1-8
I didn’t know this truth but God, the Author and Finisher of my faith, actually gave me this new birth into His Son Kingdom and I didn’t know. I was viewing the world differently. All sinful acts were clearly seen in front of my eyes as filthy. I couldn’t deny the truth but which truth? I didn’t know. When my Berhan asked me to show him in the Bible where it says to stop having a boyfriend, I didn’t know which one passage or verse to share with him.
The Bible says,
“May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is the new creation. ” Galatians 6:14-15
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
Praise God!
At that time, I only realized that I couldn’t be the person I used to be. My old self was gone and I didn’t want it to come back me again. I liked the new me but the new me created in me lots of heartaches and pains.
The Bible says,
“For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” Colossians 1:13-14
The only thing I knew to say to God was this: Please Abba, whatever You did on me, please do it on Berhan.
But I knew that God wouldn’t save Berhan for me but for His own glory as He saved me. But when? When would God save the man I love so I would marry him?
After I saw Berhan off to America, my every day prayer began to be: “Abba, no matter what, please save me from marrying a man who does not know You.”
And did I marry a non-believing man?
Wait on the next five remaining days of the celebration of our 25th marriage anniversary. Happy 25th marriage anniversary to us! ///