The words we use to explain ourselves or our feelings and situations can make or break our marriages or relationships.
Is this something new?
No, it is not. Our words do matter. They affect our lives, in a positive or negative way.
The Bible says,
“With the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach will be satisfied;
He will be satisfied with the product of his lips.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:20-21 NASB
Wow! That is a bit extreme, death and life? Yes!
In a marriage context, the husband can kill or give life to his wife by his words and the same is true for the wife.
Paul writes,
“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:29-32 NASB
If we only say to each other (a husband to his wife and a wife to her husband) things which will lift us up and edify, we beautify our marriages. But if we choose to tear each other down by our venomous words, we destroy each other and our marriages.
Yes, “we all stumble in many ways” (James 3:2), in our choice of words too. We may exchange nasty things but we need to quickly come to our senses and ask our spouses to forgive us. In turn, we should be willing to give that same forgiveness to our spouses when they stumble and hurt us with their nasty words.
Otherwise, if we are calling each other names whenever we feel offended, being reckless with our word of choice, we can successful destroy our beautiful marriages.
The Bible says,
“For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.” Galatians 5:14-15 NASB
Wow! That is a serious warning and we need to take it to heart.
To guard our mouth, we primarily need to guard our hearts:
“Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:12 NIV
How can we guard our hearts?
By meditating the word of God for the word of God is the only thing that can fill our hearts with truth and grace. When we get filled with grace and truth (John 1:14), our mouth can only say words which are full of grace and truth for “out of the abundance of the heart” the mouth can speak (Luke 6:45). ///