Issues of Birth Control and Adoption

Before I say anything today, let me say this:

To all Appeal for Purity (A4P) social media followers, especially A4P’s YouTube channel followers, would you please forgive me for the zillion of mistakes I made in almost all my videos?

Please forgive me. I am sincerely and genuinely asking you to forgive me.

In some of my videos, I mixed up Bible verse numbers or the Books of the Bible. For example, in my latest video, I said Psalm 174 instead of Psalm 74, in many of my videos, I said Proverbs when I was supposed to say Psalm or vice versa.

The video message I am sharing with you today with this post has at least one million grammar and sentence structure mistakes. I assure you that none of these mistakes are intentional. My brain is 100 miles ahead of my tongue. So, I simply skip important action verbs or replace them with a verb that does not correctly describe the intended but missing action verbs.

I so far tried to minimize these kinds of mistakes but it seems like it is getting worse. The devil is surely fighting against me. Please pray for me. I won’t give up trying though. In the meantime, I also ask you to forgive me for the future similar mistakes I am going to make. I know, it is so weird to say that because it sounds as if I am asking you to give me a license to make more mistakes in the future but I am not. I am simply asking you to free me from the worry of making mistakes and ending up making more, if you know what I mean.

Believe me in this: I always pray and strive for the message I desire to communicate with you to reach you clearly and loudly regardless of my countless mistakes. And I know that the Holy Spirit who lives in you and me can make that happen.
After all, given my incompetency and little or absolutely no language and communication skills, it is by the mercy and grace of God that I am still working in this ministry. May our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, take all the glory, praise and honor!

Okay, here is the short version of my message for today:

It is all about the issue of birth control methods!

Right off the bat, let me say this and you, young and single Christian people, please pay attention:

From married couple, whose business do you think is to take care of birth control issues? Who is responsible to read, study and search to choose from all available the birth control methods?

The correct and biblical answer is: Both husband and wife!

Issues of birth control are as much the husband’s business as they are the wife’s! There is no Bible verse that says, “Husbands, all you need to do is to go to the bedroom and have sex with your wife and the rest is your wife’s business. Not yours.”

That being said, what or which birth control method to use is one of the issues that troubles many marriages.

Some people strongly argue that the word of God speaks for or against birth control methods. I am not really sure about that because I personally did not find any clear and specific instruction or guidance in the Bible when it comes to birth control methods.

But I believe and encourage people to live out their own personal convictions! Doing so is healthy and right for our conscience.

I have this life motto I tend to follow in my Christian walk, whether in the issues of birth control methods or other issues:
“Have clear biblical convictions about different life issues and live out your convictions no matter what!”
So, that in mind, I have four birth control methods I want to discuss today on this post. I actually have one last method that I forgot to mention in the video. So, I actually want to discuss five methods:
  1. “Using nothing” method

Some people are convicted that according to their understanding of the whole counsel of the word of God, they should not use any birth control method. They say, “It is the work of God to give children and children are a gift of God and we should not intervene in the work of God. Doing so is a sin.” They also say, “God says “fill the earth,” so we need to do our part to fill the earth.”

Well, I mean, I believe that these people have a right to believe this and hold it as their conviction and live accordingly. They should not be rebuked or judged as sinners for doing that.

However, I personally rebuke people when they try to impose their convictions on their spouses, a husband on his wife or a wife on her husband.

So, young people, listen up here please:

If you are single, make sure that you discuss about this particular issue with the person you plan to marry. You and the person you marry should be on the same page before you enter the “no-exist” institution called marriage because once you’re in, there is no, “But his conviction is to have 12 kids and I only want one. Since we cannot agree on this, I am out of here.” This is not a ground for divorce according to the Bible.

  1. Withdrawal method (‘coitus interruptus’)

When I was in University of Maryland pharmacy school, I remember, I had one funny instructor who teaches about woman’s health. When he gave a lecture on birth control methods, he said, “Who do we call couples who use withdrawal and natural Rhythm as birth control methods?”

Every student was looking at each other, as if to say, “What else except calling them “couples?”

Then when we didn’t give him the answer he was looking for, he said, “We call them “stupid couples.”

It was a joke but that joke captured everybody’s attention and I hope it does the same thing here.

Withdrawal or Rhythm method shouldn’t be strictly used birth control methods because they are the most ineffective methods ever.

Some people avoid withdrawal method for a wrong biblical understanding of the story of Onan:

“Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.” But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death also.” Genesis 38:8-10

God put Onan to death because he disobeyed God to raise up an offspring to his brother. Please, don’t mix-up this story with the story of birth control methods.

  1. Rhythm method, also knows us natural birth control method

This method requires a lot of calculations, abstinence from intercourse in certain days, and moreover all the discipline and calculations may be thrown out of the window by conditions in the wife such as illness, shock, or other physical or emotional changes. A number of things have to be correct for this method of birth control to work. That means, this too is a failed method and it shouldn’t be used by couples who can think and reason right.

However I really appreciate when I meet couples who say, “We were using withdrawal/rhythm method and we got pregnant. We joyfully accepted the gift of God!”

Some unfortunately uses these failed methods, withdrawal and rhythm methods, and when they get pregnant they go for an abortion.

I already said this and I will say here again, abortion is murder!

  1. Birth control pills

Birth control pills are the most effective and safe methods available today but I don’t recommend anyone to take birth control pills years in and years out because remember, birth control pills are made up of hormones, not bananas or oranges. They will have serious consequences if taken for a long period of time. So, please don’t take birth control pills indefinitely.

There are a number of birth control pills on the market now. If one causes you to have pimples or weight gain, discuss with your doctor (OBGYN) and find the right one. It is not wise to conclude that birth control pills are not for you.

However if you have any other health issues such as migraine headache, you have to stay away from them. Birth control pills are number one known triggers of migraine headaches.

  1. Permanent sterilization

There are two known permanent sterilization methods: For men, it is called “vasectomy” and “tubal ligation” for women.

As a couple, husband and wife have to sit together and discuss which one of these methods is good for them weighing the risks and benefits.

Vasectomy is a very simple operation that can be done in the doctor’s office. On the other hand, tubal ligation is considered as a major surgery that can only be done in a hospitals under a general anesthesia.

Both these procedures  have serious long term consequences that couples need to consider and decide which one to go with. Vasectomy for example has relatively high chance to be reversed but tubal ligation cannot be reversed (unless in the future, they come up with a different and creative technology to reverse it).

That means, this is not something a couple can decide in a day or two or decide to do any of these procedures at the age of 35.

There are other known birth control methods, such as spermicide vaginal foam, birth control pills for men (but not that effective since men are not good at remembering and taking the pills; I mean, who will depend on them?), condom and diaphragm.

I personally don’t advise anybody to use IUD as a birth control method because there is evidence in some studies where they found dead fertilized eggs in women who are using IUD.

And I don’t recommend IUD to be used year in and year out just because it has relatively minimal side effects.

The other thing I want to mention here is about Morning After Pill or known as Plan B.

Some people think that Plan B is a birth control pill. However Plan B is not a birth control pill. It is an abortion medicine. So, born again Christians, whose message and motto is “for life’” should not use Plan B.

So far, I discuss about how to safely and rightly prevent unwanted pregnancies. However if a couple cannot get pregnant at all regardless of their effort, it is good to think about adoption.
The issue of adoption is always in the heart of God.

From our creation, none of us were children of God, am I right? But God, by His mercy and grace, hallelujah, adopted us as His children through Jesus Christ.

We “were by nature children of wrath” – – – but “In love  he[God] predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ,” Ephesians 2:3b, 1:6a, 5

So, adoption is something godly, Scriptural, spiritual and heavenly. If you decide to adopt a child, it does not mean that you don’t believe in God and that you are not willing to wait on God as Abraham and Sara did.

It simply means, you are not Abraham and Sara and that, with your unique case, you are wise and want to use your youthful years to raise a generation who love and fear God. That is all!

Who knows? If you go for adoption, God may surprise you by giving you biological children. I heard many stories/testimonies where God surprised a couple who already took an adoption option. Our God is an amazingly merciful and graceful God!

Again, you, young people, who are not married yet, please listen:

Make this issue one of the issues you discuss with the person you are planning to marry before you enter marriage. Discuss what you both are willing to do if you don’t ever get pregnant and have your own children. This is not a kind of discussion unbelievers or people who have no faith in God have but people who are wise and have so much of faith in God.

Is adoption something that both of you entertain as an option? If so, after how many years of trying? Some people decide to go with adoption after they try for five years, others after 10 years. It is wise though to decide before you get old.

Know that, you are unable to get pregnant does not mean God has cursed you! Jesus Christ took our curse on the cross. He became curse for us so we can be free from curse.

“Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.”” Galatians 3:13

So, if you don’t get pregnant, don’t go into analyzing your life, saying: “I don’t have enough faith! So God is punishing me for it.” Or “God cursed me for my sin, for aborting three of my children before.” I mean, ask God to forgive you for your past sins and receive His forgiveness.
After doing that, if you find yourself being barren (you or your spouse), prayerfully, look for other options such as adoption.   
And as I heard from so many people, nobody who took the adoption option regrets!
That means, you won’t be the first one! ///