Does age difference matter in a marriage? In what age range a man and a woman should be to get married and lead a healthy marriage?
Well, first off, let me say this: As far as I know, there is no biblical reference that answers this question. So, my answer solely depends on what I know to be true in science and what the goal and purpose of a Christian marriage should be according to the Bible.
In Malachi chapter two verses 13 to 14, we read this:
“Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.”
“the wife of your youth, your partner” – mean your companion, your friend. I mean, a youth marries a youth, don’t you think so?
So, here is my take on this: The goal of marriage is to build an intimate friendship between one man and one woman, friendship that beautifies their oneness.
“Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”(Genesis 2:25)
This is told about Adam and Eve before the fall. Now because of the price Jesus had paid for us on the cross, God in Christ is willing to bring us back to Himself, being justified and sanctified in Christ Jesus, without any shame or blemish, but honor and glory. As you all know, sanctification is a lifetime process, so is developing friendship and oneness in the marriage.
So, our marriages should grow to that maturity, to the place where both the wife and the husband can be naked and feel “no shame.” This nakedness, as I read somewhere (sorry I don’t remember where), doesn’t only talk about physical nakedness but also nakedness in all the other areas of life. It is very, very hard to be naked before another human being because we all have lots of flaws, shames and brokenness we want to hide. And it is too risky to totally show all our flaws, defects and brokenness to a person because they may use each one of our flaws to hurt us or to make us feel second citizens.
And the truth is, we all want to be naked because that is our original nature so we have this deep seated desire to be totally “naked,” known by other human being and to know other human being in the same way. (Refer to the nature of our sexual desire)
“Adam knew Eve his wife;” (Genesis 4:1a) – this verse talks about sex but sex according to the word of God, which is a one, only, unique, deep and exclusive way two people, one man and one woman, know each other.
If we continue knowing different people at this level without a marriage covenant, we become “hidden people,” just as Adam hid himself from God, we hide ourselves from others and ourselves( but not from God) and live in darkness and shame.
I guess I lost my track of thought here but it is okay. What I said so far won’t hurt anybody.
But here is what I am trying to say: Friendship may flourish successfully in marriages where the married couples are from the same generation (the husband is five to seven years older than his wife).
Am I implying that married couples who are from the same generation lead a perfect marriage? Not all! All I am saying is, it is a very rare occurrence to see a close and intimate friendship flourishing among married couples who are from a different generation. ///