Your Desire Shall Be For Your Husband

When our daughter was four or five years old, she learned during our family Bible study about Adam and Eve, how they sinned against God and were cursed, and how their sin brought a curse upon humanity and the earth.

In a sad voice, she said, “Mom, I wish you two [referring to her mom and dad] were the first Adam and Eve.”

Smiling, I quickly asked, “Why?”

She replied, “Because I know that you two would never sin against God.”

That beautiful little girl is now a 23-year-old young lady who knows her Bible well enough to explain how sinful and wretched she is, as well as both her parents, because we are all children of Adam and Eve.

Yes, not only do little children, but even we as adults sometimes or often wish that Adam and Eve hadn’t rebelled against God and His word. However, they did, and we, their children, share the consequences of their sin and curse.

In the last post, we explained how Eve was cursed by God in both areas of her unique God-given blessings: her relationship with her children and her husband. We only addressed the first part of the curse. Let’s look at the verse again:

“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” Genesis 3:16 NKJV

While reaching out for the hidden pleasure and joy she believed God had kept from her and her husband Adam (because the serpent deceived her), Eve lost everything. The curse affected not only her relationship with her children but also with her husband.

In short, God said to her, I will multiply your childbirth, and also your pain and sorrow as you give birth and raise your children. Even if you continue to become pregnant and give birth every year, “your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16 NKJV)

Some early Bible scholars believed (and I think there are still a few today) that the curse on Eve’s relationship with her husband pertained to her sexual desire for him. From the surface, or the way I put it above, it may indeed seem that way. However, most modern Bible scholars agree that sex was actually created before the fall, and the fact that Eve desired her husband for sex and Adam desired his wife was present before the fall. Both the desire for sex and the act itself were created by God, and, like everything God created, were good and holy. Of course, after the fall, sin and the curse affected all areas of human life, including sexuality, in many ways. However, the curse God pronounced on Eve does not say, “Eve, you will have sexual desire towards your husband,” because that is not a curse but a beautiful blessing for her and her husband.

Eve’s desire for her husband actually refers to something else, and we find the meaning of it in the next chapter of the Book of Genesis.

“Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, and said, “I have acquired a man from the Lord.” Then she bore again, this time his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the Lord. Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the Lord respected Abel and his offering, but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell.

So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”” Genesis 4:1-7 NKJV

After being expelled from the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve began having children. Their firstborn, presumably Cain (although the Bible does not explicitly state this), was named “Cain,” which means “found” or “acquired.” Eve named her son this way because she believed Cain was the one who would “bruise” the serpent’s head (Genesis 3:14-15).

To her surprise, the son she thought would be her avenger turned out to be a murderer, multiplying her pain and sorrow by killing her son Abel. You can read and study more about this on your own later, but for now, I want you to pay close attention to the last part of verse seven, where God said to Cain:

“- – – sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” Genesis 4:7b NKJV

And here is the previous verse we quoted:

“- – – your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” Genesis 3:16 NKJV

Both of these verses are phrased in exactly the same way, and the key word we need to examine carefully in these passages is “desire.” From my study, I learned that this word originally comes from an Arabic root, meaning “to seek control.”

In the Old Testament, this word is used in the same way only in these two verses. What does sin do at Cain’s door? It desires to take control of Cain so that Cain does what sin desires him to do. And what did God advise Cain to do? Before sin takes control of him, God told him to take control over it and to rule over sin, not the other way around.

Similarly, in Genesis 3:16, the curse tells Eve that, because of her rebellion against God and His word, she will have a natural and innate desire to control her husband. However, her husband will continuously fight against this control to prevent her from dominating him, and instead, he will dominate her.

Wow! Wow! Wow!

Who can lift this curse from a woman? Is there any power, method, or technique that can help a woman avoid and be free from this curse? If a woman decides to remain single for life, can she save herself from this curse? What if she decides never to get pregnant and have children? What if she successfully climbs the corporate ladder, becomes a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, and becomes filthy rich? Hmm! What if she runs for president of the United States and wins the election?

Can a woman escape the curse God declared on her?

No! No power can break the truth and word of God. Nothing can lift this curse from a woman’s life except the cross of Jesus. A woman without Christ is fully burdened with the curse of Genesis 3:16. The word of God says,

“Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”),” Colossians 3:13 NKJV

And it says,

“For He [God] made Him [Christ Jesus] who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” 2 Corinthians 5:21 NKJV

Some people advise women to pray a short prayer saying, ‘Christ, I believe in You and that You died for my sin,’ and then become a member of their church. They tell her, ‘You can live this life free from the curse of sin because the God you now believe in is the one who took your curse.’

Sounds beautiful, doesn’t it?

As Christians, our concern should not be whether we like what we hear or whether it makes sense to our limited understanding. Instead, we should ask:

Is this the teaching of the Bible?

The answer is an emphatic NO!

As Jesus was preparing His disciples for His imminent departure—a reality He knew well, though His disciples were unaware despite His attempts to tell them—He said, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NKJV)

While a woman navigates this cursed world and lives in a cursed body, in Christ, she is saved in hope—a hope not yet seen but soon realized after this life (Romans 8:22-25). As she waits for the day when her hope and faith become sight, the Spirit of God in Christ indwells her and guides her life, bringing joy, peace, contentment, rest, and peace from the inside out (John 7:37-39). Through what she receives from the Holy Spirit daily as she abides in God’s word and prayer, similar to how the Israelites received manna from heaven, she finds joy in being a wife and a mother. The word of God commands her to marry only a man who is in Christ. Why? So that her husband will also be led by the Spirit of God, making their home and marriage a little heaven on this cursed planet . . . cont’d ///