A4P Guest: I’m married with one child.
A4P: Okay.
A4P Guest: We’ve been married for the last three years. Throughout my married life, I have never experienced any sexual pleasure.
A4P: Hmm! What do you think is the reason?
A4P Guest: My husband always asks me to do things which I feel very uncomfortable to do but I do it anyways for the sake of my marriage. And I always carry with me this heavy burden in my heart that takes away my sexual feelings and desires. I don’t pray anymore and I don’t go to church that much often.
A4P: Did you try to communicate this with your husband? Did you tell him that you are not enjoying any part of the sex?
A4P: Yes I did tell him many times! But he always says, “You will get used to it.” And I don’t get used to it. I actually hate it!
A4P: Can you tell me some of the things he is asking you to do?
A4P Guest: Oh, no! I can’t! I sometimes cry myself to asleep after the fact. I hate myself, my marriage, even my life. I don’t know what to do. To tell you the truth, the only reason for me to live today is my son.
A4P: Hmm! This is not good at all! And it is not the will of God for you to live this way. You need to seek help from your local church ministers.
A4P Guest: I don’t think I can do that because he is a well-respected “spiritual” man in our church and if I tell them what he’s been doing with me, they won’t believe me and they may see me as an evil woman who goes around and bad-mouths her husband.
A4P: But there is also a chance that they may not see you like that. Regardless of your fear, I advise you to go and seek help. You may find a minister who may believe your story and without judging your husband may help you guys to sort things out. And you don’t have to stand behind the pulpit to ask for help.
Just go to one of the ministers and try to open up. Not like, “My husband is a bad and sinful man.”
No, not like that. Your husband might not be a bad person. Maybe he doesn’t know how to love you sexually. So, I believe, you both need counseling and mentoring in the sexual area of your lives. So, just go and say something like, “I think my husband and I need help in our marriage. I want to be a good wife to my husband. Please help us.”
I am sure a well-versed and sensible person can understand the problem clearly and guide you both in the right path. There is help for this problem and you shouldn’t let one day pass by before you reach out to someone for help.
But please, don’t make this mistake: Don’t go for counseling by yourself if the person you reaching out for help is a man. It doesn’t matter if he is the senior pastor of the church or one of those major or minor “prophets.” You have to go with your husband.
If your husband refuses to go, put an ultimatum for him saying: “I cannot stay in this situation any longer. We need help. You can choose between your marriage or going with me for counseling.”
And stand your ground. If you don’t a take step like this now, the problem eventually escalates and destroys your life and your marriage. So, be wise today! ///