The word of God says,

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit IN EVERYTHING to their husbands.” Ephesians 5:22–24 (ESV) (capitalization is added)

As you may recall, we are continuing our reflection on this profound passage. We pray that you are following this series with a humble heart as we seek to unpack God’s truth regarding marriage between one man and one woman. If this is your first time here, don’t worry—just scroll down a bit and catch up with us.

Last time, as we concluded our meditation on verse 23, we made this observation:

“A husband cannot nurture what he does not understand. He cannot guess the wounds or burdens his wife carries. He must care deeply enough to give her his full, undivided attention. He must listen carefully when she speaks. This kind of intentional, sacrificial listening is one of the most Christlike—and romantic—ways a husband can love his wife.”

Isn’t that just true and beautiful!

Think about it: How can a man be truly romantic toward his wife if he is not even willing to listen to her heart? Simply put—he cannot. Listening is one of the most basic ways human beings show respect to one another. It’s a foundational aspect of healthy relationships. In a marriage where genuine listening is absent, that marriage cannot thrive or become a nurturing environment for either spouse.

With that in mind, let’s now turn to verse 24:

“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Ephesians 5:24 (ESV)

The key phrase here is “in everything.” At first glance, it might sound like the wife is being asked to submit to her husband as though he were her god. Sadly, some men read it that way. But nothing could be further from the truth. Husbands are not gods to their wives.

As we often say, we must consider the whole counsel of the word of God in order to rightly understand and appreciate the teaching of Scripture.

Both the husband and wife, as followers of Christ, are called to total submission to God. That submission is absolute and non-negotiable. Though we never reach perfect submission in this side of eternity, the heart of every believer is aimed entirely at pleasing the Lord. As Reformed theology affirms, the Christian life is one of continual repentance and increasing conformity to Christ—by grace alone.

However, a wife’s submission to her husband is not absolute. It is not the same kind of submission she gives to Christ. Her submission has godly boundaries. She submits to a husband who is leading her in a manner consistent with God’s Word. If his leadership deviates from that, she must respectfully withhold her submission and remain faithful to her higher authority—her Lord and Savior.

When God commands a wife to submit to her husband, she obeys gladly, without resentment or manipulation. But when her husband demands submission, she must weigh the matter against the Word of God. Why? Because if she submits in a way that causes her to sin, she cannot justify herself before God by saying, “I didn’t know. I was just submitting to my husband as I ought to according to Your Word.”

Consider the sobering story of Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5. They conspired together to lie about the sale of their property. When Ananias came first and lied, Peter rebuked him sharply: “You have not lied to man but to God.” And Ananias fell dead. When Sapphira arrived three hours later, Peter asked her the same question—and she lied as well. Peter responded, “How is it that you have agreed together to test the Spirit of the Lord?”

Sapphira had a choice. When her husband came to her with this deceitful plan, she could have said, “How can I lie to God and sin against Him? I will not do it.” That would have been a holy act of resistance—choosing to fear God rather than man. In that moment, she would have been holding back her submission from her husband in order to give it fully to the One who is worthy of her ultimate loyalty: God Himself.

Then the word of God says, “Husbands,”. . . cont’d ///