A4P Guest: “I am 22 years old and I am active in my church. I’ve never dated or been in love with a man before but now I think I am in love with a guy I’m ministering with. We are in the same ministry and I don’t think he is noticing me in that way. Last time, he took everybody’s number to give us all a call to remind us about our prayer meeting. He called me once and he never called me after that. I constantly think about him and I don’t know what I need to do. I don’t think he has the same feeling for me as I do for him. What should I do?”

A4P: Tricky! Tricky! Tricky! Here is where prayer does the miracle; not asking that he may fall in love with you, but asking to receive wisdom on how to handle this issue.

Pray that you won’t go too far with the day-dreaming, thinking about being his wife and the mother of his kids. You see, sometimes, we women go too far with the fantasy part of romance. Way before a man gets a chance even to look at us, we begin to worship him. Sometimes infatuation also plays a trick on us.

So, try to know him as a person, without being nervous of being close to him or talking to him. I know that can be a bit tough if you seriously have feelings for him. That is why you need to pray, so that “self-control” will take over your life. Try to work with him in the ministry. If there is a task you guys need to do, find a way to partner with him, so that you may know him closely. And it will be a good opportunity for you to let him know you as a person so that he will notice you.

Oftentimes, we just fall in love with a man’s outer look, without knowing his personality, character and his outlook in life. We also fall in love with the whole idea of getting married and having a lavish wedding ceremony forgetting what lies after the wedding.

So, try to know him as a brother in Christ without giving him any clues that you are interested. You never know; once you know the whole package, you may end up saying to God, “LORD, thank You for saving me from this man.”

A word of warning before I go: While you are waiting for him to notice you, you may lose another good man who might be interested in you. You rather respond to the man who pursues you than the man you pursue. Most men want to do the pursing, then win the girl and make her theirs, than the other way around! Some men mercilessly take advantage of a girl who pursues them; they use, abuse and trash her when they are through with her. So, watch out! Find a prayer partner you can open up to and pray earnestly with. All the best! ///