The Bible says, “- – – a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24 NIV)

The key word here is “become” – shows “a process,” to be “one.”

NASB says this way: “a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24 NASB)

The key phrase here is “shall become one flesh.” It is through a process that the couple becomes one. Yes, they are considered as one right after they exchange their vows but in reality, they are not yet one, but two. It takes time and conscious efforts of both for them to become “one-flesh.”

Most life issues have a potential to make those two married couple to remain as two, not one. The couple may love each other. They  may have this tingling feeling that they both feel at each other’s presence especially during their first year or two of their marriage. And they may think or assume that their love and attraction for one another stays the same forever. However, the truth is, love is not self-sustaining. It requires the two people to work hard for it to grow and flourish. And their work has to be guided and directed by the truth and word of God.

One best way to do this is, the couple has to always remember that the ultimate goal of their marriage, according to the word of God, is for them to become one and bring glory to God.

Taking the issue of “in-laws” as an example, married couple should learn how to be “one” when they love their families or handle conflicts when conflicts do arise from either side of the family. In most marriages, there is friction, conflict and misunderstanding when it comes to dealing with in-laws. And if not handled wisely, these issues have a potential to make the couple remain as two, while they are supposed to become “one.”

But if the couple knows how to protect their marriage as a team, knowing that the goal of their marriage is for them to “become one,” in all circumstances, nothing can come between them, and nothing can stop “they shall become one flesh” process.

Their oneness is the foundation for their marriage to flourish before God and people in a healthy way. And their healthy marriage will nourish and protect their children. That means, their health marriage is actually the building block of a health society and community. ///