A4P Guest: “Missy, if you were single today, what would be the first three main characteristics you would be looking in a man?”

A4P: I love this question! Do you know why?

Well, I think I already told you this but one of the things I was looking in a man when I was single, young and “st- -d” was “six-pack” abs, lol. I know that is messed up!

In the hindsight, knowing what I know now about marriage, I come to realize that six pack abs do nothing for a marriage. Yes, my man was a “six-packer” with excellent character; and I was more than happy to stand next to a man with flat belly. But there is no way now that I would advise a girl to look for a man with “six-pack” abs because I already met enough number of husbands with six-pack abs who destroy their marriages in six different possible ways. Yes, six-pack abs may look good but they won’t do grocery nor change a baby diaper.

So, my advice for you today comes not from my old, “outdated” and “carnal” list but directly from my 19 (soon to be 20) years of marriage experience, eight years of marriage counseling and from my biblical understanding of what a husband should be. So, just “un-click” those “six-pack” abs from the list but still know this: there is nothing wrong with wanting to marry a man with six pack abs as long as you also demand that those praiseworthy characters come with them.

Let me also say this before I leave this topic: remember, it is always good for you to maintain a good and healthy weight. Instead of expecting a man to have it, make sure you are the one to bring that healthy body to the marriage.

So, if I was single today, I will die to have a man who has the following three important characteristics:

1. Kind – Kindness is not something you pick from his face. It is something you notice as you become his friend. The literal meaning of kind is: considerate, helpful; loving and affectionate. He is kind not to you alone but to any human being. You need his kindness because you are a woman and you go through hormonal ups and downs throughout your life and sometimes your “unloving” manners and characters may sneak in and the last thing you need in your life is a mean-spirited husband who can just send you directly to your grave, alive!
2. Forgiving – This too is a character you notice only if you are his friend. He forgives others when they wrong him. He knows that they hurt him but he is quick to forgive them and move on with his life. Oh, my sister, you will need his forgiveness in your marriage because you sure will hurt him, sometimes unconsciously. So you need his forgiveness which usually comes with understanding. I’m not talking here a man who lets everyone walk all over him. Oh, no, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about a man who consciously forgives others because he knows that it is well with him.
3. Honest – Wow! This is very important because he is going to be the man of the house and the head of you. So, the last thing you want is the man who builds his life in a lie. If he is honest about himself and life, don’t let him get away until you make him yours! If he is honest, he seeks help whenever he is in need. If he is honest man, his love for you remains when the going gets tough. If he is honest, there is a high probability for him to desire to learn from others and change in the future.

Well, when you add up the above three characteristics of a man, do you know what you get? A genuine and sincere Christian man! If you find him, let me tell you something: DO NOT LET HIM GET AWAY! MARRY HIM! ///