A4P Guest: I’ve been married for 7-years. In my opinion I had a good marriage, not my wife. Just two weeks ago, I found out that my wife cheated on me a month ago and I found out two weeks ago. I found inappropriate text messages and I confronted her and she confessed everything. Now I decided to divorce her.

A4P: Wow! I am so sorry!

A4P Guest: Thank you! It’s been the hardest two weeks of my life.

A4P: I am sure! I am so sorry again. So what is your question for me?

A4P Guest: I went to see my pastor yesterday to let him know of my decision to divorce my wife and I was very surprised by his response and I am reaching out to you to get a second opinion.

A4P: Good for you! When we are in doubt, it is always good to seek a second opinion. After all, the Bible says, “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14 KJV
So you did well!

A4P Guest: Okay, so here is my question: So as long as I have a biblical ground for divorce, why does my pastor stand against me?

A4P: Is your wife not repentant of her sin? Is she moving on with the other guy?

A4P Guest: No, she is still with me. She said she repented of her sin but I don’t trust her anymore.

A4P: I know! I understand! It is a very painful issue to deal with. It is okay to be mad at her to the point of wanting to divorce her. But it’s only two weeks since you heard the news.

A4P Guest: That is exactly what my pastor said.

A4P: And if I said the same thing what your pastor has said (two people who don’t know each other said to you the same thing), you should take your time and listen.

A4P Guest: I have to be honest with you, Missy. I hate talking to anyone who tries to talk me out of the idea of divorce.

A4P: I know! Because you felt so hurt that you wanted to run away from your wife. I mean, who wouldn’t understand you!

A4P Guest: Ana the word of God is with me too. It says, “whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:9 So my issue is adultery. I want to divorce my wife because she committed adultery.

A4P: But the Bible is not talking about a person who committed adultery and repented of her sin. It is talking about a person who leads a sexually immoral lifestyle. And from your story, your wife is not leading a sexually immoral lifestyle. She made a mistake and sinned against you and God.

A4P Guest: And our 4-year old son too.

A4P: Oh so sorry!

A4P Guest: Yes! She didn’t care if she had a son. She slept with my friend as if she was a single pagan woman.

A4P: Oh! So sorry! I know, it should hurt!
But please hear me. You are very upset now and rightly so. But now is not the time to take any action. You need to calm down.

A4P Guest: Are you going to counsel me like my pastor so I stay in my marriage?

A4P Guest: I don’t know what your pastor advised you to do but please hear me once. You find nothing in divorcing your wife. Your wife made a mistake and she is repentant of her sin. The best thing for you to do is to stay with her. But you don’t need to think about that now. Just find a way to calm yourself down. What calms you down is this, I think:

How many are your sins that you confessed to God so far? How many times did you come to God to forgive you of your sin? How many times did God forgive you? Think! Meditate on these truth! Your son will forgive his mom. Don’t worry about him.
If you were without sin, believe me your pastor and I would have been the first ones to tell you to divorce your wife. But you are not without sin. Neither is your wife. As you seek the forgiveness of God, your wife seeks your forgiveness. As God forgives you, forgive her. I am not asking you to give her what you don’t have or what you are unable to give. Since you are a forgiven son of God, you are able to forgive. So forgive her. But give yourself time! Sit with your pastor and let him speak the truth of God in you. Your anger is justifiable, but not your unwillingness to forgive: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV
God is asking you through His word to forgive your wife who is asking you to forgive her. ///