A4P Guest: My husband cheated on me four years ago. He actually slept with one of my friends who was also married and had kids. I forgave my husband, he cried and I cried too. However I still struggle with the thought as if it happened just yesterday. What should I do?

A4P: My heart goes out to you!

A4P Guest: Thank you!

A4P: How did you come to know about the affair?

A4P Guest: One day I came home from work because I was not feeling okay and I found my husband in bed with my “used to be best friend.”

A4P: Oh, oh! I am so sorry! That must be tough!

A4P Guest: Oh, yes! I was actually admitted to the hospital the next day because I was trying to hurt myself.

A4P: And did you receive help from the hospital?

A4P Guest: Yes! They kept me there for three days but after that I was discharged.

A4P: Did you tell them why you were trying to hurt yourself?

A4P Guest: No! I was scared. I just said to them, “I don’t know!” They gave me a phone number to see a psychiatrist and I left.

A4P: Did you see the psychiatrist?

A4P Guest: No, because after I came home, my husband fell on my feet and we both cried together. Missy, this is the man I love. I don’t know any other man except him. I have known him since I was 18. We have two little ones. I used to trust my husband more than I trust myself. Now I struggle to trust him even for a small and simple thing. I still love him but since that episode, I have been struggling with depression and anxiety. I so far had two panic attacks.

A4P: Did you get any counseling for this, as a couple and for yourself?

A4P Guest: No.

A4P: Did you tell to your pastor.

A4P Guest: No because my husband is a leaded to our church home-cell Bible study group. If I tell the pastor, my friend’s husband will also hear and I don’t want to create all these mess in the church.

A4P: Wow! Are you serious? So, your husband continued his service to the church and the other husband also had no clue about this?

A4P Guest: Yes.

A4P: Wow! I am speechless here. No wonder you’re still suffering. Did you even get a chance to discuss the issue with your husband in detail?

A4P Guest: No. My husband always says, “You said, I forgave you. That means you need to forget it too. Time will heal everything. Just pray and God will give you the grace to let everything go.” And he doesn’t want me to bring up this issue for any reason.

A4P: Wow! That is so mean!

A4P Guest: Now I am stuck here, not able to do anything. I feel like my life has stopped four years ago. What should I do?

A4P: You first need to get counseling for yourself. Then you ask your husband to join you. Then through the process, your pastor must hear this in detail so he talks to the other husband.

A4P Guest: I know my friend’s husband will divorce her. They have three little ones.

A4P: That is not your issue. Your issue is this: “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.” Ephesians 5:11 ESV

You neither save the church nor the other family by hiding this sin. Actually you are doing the opposite because sin is like yeast.

The Bible says, “Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump?” 1 Corinthians 5:6 ESV

This process actually brings healing to the church and to both families. You all are living in a lie! And if you all are church people, you need to live in truth, not in darkness, in a lie.

Don’t worry as to how things are going to unfold; just pray and God will take care of the outcome. But know that you need counseling.

By the way, do you still want to hurt yourself? Do you have any such thought in your mind?

A4P Guest: Not really but I won’t lie to you, I want God to take me.

A4P: Okay. I really encourage you to seek counseling and you may need to see a psychiatrist. May God see you through this tough road! And He will for He is Faithful! God is an expert in restoring lives and marriages. But sitting there hoping things will change won’t do you any good. Act today! Act now! May God help you! ///