This is one of the questions I often get from young people:

“So what age difference do you recommend for a couple to have?”

(Since there is no Bible reference for this, this will purely be my opinion.)

I usually answer this question like this:

Use this as a rule of thumb: Who are your best friends, friends you go out and have fun with, friends you sit and discuss important issues with, friends you lean on for good as well as bad days? What age group do your friends belong to?

For example: If you are in your late twenties, your friends may fall between the age of late twenties and early thirties. So it is better for you to seek marriage with the person in that age group so you grow and mature together and get old together.

In my recent trip to Addis Abeba, Ethiopia, I noticed that many young girls are married with a much older man and I tried to ask if there was any specific reason. But none of the answers I got was satisfactory for me. So I made my own opinion: The society is still dominating women. Women have no say in important matters which affect their lives. Some of them, in my opinion, are literally victims of the society and the men seem to enjoy that because I think no one holds the men responsible and accountable for their actions. Because of that and many related reasons, men dominance is seen and felt everywhere.

Older women don’t seem to help either. They don’t teach the right thing to young women: “If your husband goes to another woman, don’t make a fuss about it. It is common for a man to do that. Just make sure you raise your kids.”

That is totally disgusting, to say the least!

And marrying an older man (7-10 years or 10-20 years older than the girl), is considered as a blessing because the man usually has something, a car or a house or a job or he travels outside the country for work and he brings “toys.”

“Is this the same in churches?”

Don’t get me started now!??‍♀️

In short, like most things, I believe something has to be done in Ethiopia regarding this issue. ///