In our last post, we concluded by discussing the origin of our struggle to accept and own our sins. This struggle stems from our father, the First Adam, who fought to maintain his innocence by accusing and blaming God and his wife, Eve, for his own sin.

So, God asked Eve,

“What is this that you have done?” Genesis 3:13a ESV

This is a similar opportunity God is giving to Eve, just as He gave to Adam. He is allowing Eve to own, confess, and renounce her sin and ask for His forgiveness. Did she do that? Let’s see how she responded to God.

“The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”” Genesis 3:13b ESV

This is exactly the same response Adam gave to God when confronted with his sin. Adam blamed God and Eve, while Eve blamed the serpent. Essentially, Eve told God, “I wouldn’t have eaten the forbidden fruit if it weren’t for the serpent. So, I am not responsible for eating the fruit. The only responsible party is the serpent. I am innocent.”

Sad, is it not?

Well, both of our fore-parents refused to take responsibility for their own sin. Guess what? We are all their offspring. Admitting our misgivings is completely foreign to us. Blaming others comes naturally to us and is imprinted in our DNA. We are too full of ourselves, too self-righteous, and too prideful to see our own wretchedness. Indeed, Adam and Eve marked all of humanity with this fallen tendency.

So, it is very common nowadays to find a husband who blames his wife for all his failings and shortcomings. A husband might say something like, “I was a prayer warrior before I got married. Then this woman came into my life,” as if someone else brought her into his life and he didn’t beg her to marry him. “I became a stranger to the house of God.” What is he really saying? He is saying that his wife separated him from God while he wanted to stay close to Him.

Or, we may hear a wife saying, “Before I married this man, I was a joyful person, always laughing, playing, and enjoying life. Since marrying him, I have forgotten how to smile. My face used to be clear and spotless. Let me show you my before and after marriage pictures. You can clearly see how my life started going downhill after I married him.”

I truly believe that if we all stopped shifting blame and took responsibility for our share in marital problems, the world would be a better place to live. Our homes would become a safe haven for all our little ones.

Here is the truth: Unless God Himself helps us, we are all blind to our faults, mistakes, and sins.

“Who can discern his errors?” Psalm 19:12a NASB

The answer is nobody! We all need help to see how sinful we are.

It is the role of the Holy Spirit to reveal sin and guide us in understanding our own hearts and actions. Otherwise, we hopelessly think we are okay, or even close to perfect, impressing God with our service to Him. Without God’s help, we are just like Adam and Eve, blaming our spouse, children, the system, the school system, technology, social media—everything and everyone but ourselves. Yes, this is one of the consequences of Adam’s fall.

Adam and Eve fought for their innocence to the end, so God cursed them, beginning with the serpent. However, the story of humanity didn’t start with sin followed by a curse; it began with God’s blessings:

“Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:26-28 ESV

God created the universe with His words, saying, “Let there be!” But He made man in His own image and likeness. Both Adam and Eve were the works of God’s hands. He didn’t speak them into existence as He did with the light, the sun, the moon, and everything else. Instead, God made Adam and fashioned Eve.

A beautiful and exceptional creation!

Then God blessed them and gave them full dominion over all creatures that move on the earth. God granted both Adam and Eve equal sovereignty, authority, and control over all creatures. Neither of them was assigned a specific position. All their privileges and authorities were equal and identical.

Then they sinned against God and refused to own their sins, resulting in a full-blown curse upon both of them. Adam and Eve lost their original sovereign authority and control over other creatures. After the fall, everything God created was affected, including the institution of marriage between one man and one woman. Now the curse God pronounced on them gives us clues as to why we, their offspring, struggle in our lives, particularly in our marriages, with struggles unique to our specific gender. Therefore, God’s call to a husband and wife in marriage took into consideration their fall and the curses they each received from God. Although neither is better than the other, the fall introduced hierarchy: the man being the head and his wife being his body . . . cont’d ///