We pick up today’s discussion from the point where we concluded in our previous post. Our focus remains on guiding, mentoring, and exemplifying the principles of a “shalom” life for a young man—a life predominantly characterized by a reverence for God.
Understanding and fearing God is intricately linked to one’s knowledge of who God is, and such knowledge is derived from an acquaintance with the teachings of the Bible. When a young man engages in reading, studying, and meditating on the word of God, he begins to comprehend the nature of his Creator. This understanding instills in him a sense of reverence and fear, as he realizes the significant consequences of deviating from the principles outlined in the Bible. Consequently, he adopts a posture of submission, striving to align his entire life with the will of God. This practical surrender to God’s word is commonly referred to as the fear of God.
In our previous post, we explored the concept that the fear of God serves as the starting point for acquiring knowledge and wisdom, as stated in Proverbs 1:1-7.
Following the directive for the young man to fear God, the sage, who is the teacher of wisdom, proceeds with his guidance saying:
“Hear, my son, your father’s instruction,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching,
for they are a graceful garland for your head
and pendants for your neck.” Proverbs 1:8-9 ESV
A graceful garland refers to a crown-like wreath crafted from flowers and leaves, while a pendant is a necklace fashioned from precious materials.
Upon the entrance of a man adorned with both a crown and a pendant, it becomes impossible for anyone to disregard or overlook him. Devoid of any verbal or overt actions, his mere presence commands respect and attention. Such grace accompanies him consistently, and even though the crown and pendant may not be visibly apparent, their unseen influence positively shapes the young man’s life.
Is it possible for every young man to possess these graceful garlands and pendants? Certainly not! These attributes are not inherent; rather, they are acquired through the act of honoring and respecting parents. Any young man who consistently demonstrates honor and respect towards his parents is invariably adorned with a crown and pendant, symbolizing his presence wherever he may be.
Just as the sage prioritizes instilling the fear of God and immediately follows it with emphasizing the significance of the young man listening to and obeying his parents, the Ten Commandments of God also align these two principles in the same order of importance.
- You shall have no other Gods before me
- You shall not make for yourselves an idol
- You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God
- Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy
- Honor your father and your mother, so that it may well with you and you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. You shall not murder
- You shall not murder
- You shall not commit adultery
- You shall not steal
- You shall not give false testimony
- You shall not covet
Commandments one to four revolve around knowing, fearing, and worshiping only the True God. Subsequently, another crucial commandment follows, accompanied by a promise:
“Honor your father and your mother, so that it may well (‘shalom’) with you and you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
For a young man to embrace a ‘shalom’ life, he must prioritize the fear of God and exhibit obedience and honor towards his parents. Disregarding his parents equates to undermining and jeopardizing his own existence. Such is the intentional design and creation of life by God, embodying an inherent truth.
Therefore, parents of a young man should emphasize instilling in their son, from an early age, the importance of listening to and obeying them. Following the fear of God, teaching the young man to obediently adhere to his parent’s rules and principles should be embedded in his tender heart. This grace enhances his life long before he embarks on his independent journey.
A young man who receives guidance from his parents at home on how to fear God and obey them is seldom confronted with issues involving authorities like teachers and civil authorities. It would be entirely unnatural for him to exhibit rebellion against such authorities.
In the course of mentoring this young man, the sage’s subsequent emphasis lies on the friends the young man selects to accompany him. As the saying goes, “Show me your friends, and I can see your future.”
The sage states:
“My son, if sinners entice you,
do not consent.
If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood;
let us ambush the innocent without reason;
like Sheol let us swallow them alive,
and whole, like those who go down to the pit;
we shall find all precious goods,
we shall fill our houses with plunder;
throw in your lot among us;
we will all have one purse”—
my son, do not walk in the way with them;
hold back your foot from their paths,
for their feet run to evil,
and they make haste to shed blood.
For in vain is a net spread
in the sight of any bird,
but these men lie in wait for their own blood;
they set an ambush for their own lives.
Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain;
it takes away the life of its possessors.” Proverbs 1:10-19 ESV
At times, parents attempt to select friends for their sons. While this may seem like a prudent approach, it is counterproductive, as individuals typically do not desire friendship based on their parents’ recommendations and suggestions. Friendship usually develops when a young man encounters another young man who speaks “his language.”
The question arises: what is this language? This language signifies the manner and character the young man learns at home in terms of behavior from his parents. When he ventures outside his home, he easily connects with young men who share similar manners and characters. Occasionally, he might be drawn to young men who pose challenges in schools and churches. However, if this young man is closely mentored by his parents in a non-judgmental manner, they shed light on the situation. They encourage the young man to discuss his decision to befriend those who, for instance, create issues and trouble in a church or school- – – Contd. ///