We don’t need to look too far to find an angry person, do we, I mean, sometimes, all we need is to just look at ourselves, right?

Hope we are not in an angry mode all the time because anger is a killer when it is allowed to mark our lives. We should seek and find the source of our even “once in a while” outburst of anger. We need to ask, “Where is this anger coming from? What is the source?”

Do you know why?

Well, anger is one of human emotions known as secondary emotion. Secondary emotion means there is an underlying reason or even emotion or unfulfilled desires or ambitions which fueled this emotion called anger.

The word of God says,

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” James 4:1-4ESV

Did you see that?

Have you ever found yourself lashing out at someone and regretted later because your reaction was so uncalled for?

When I was raising my three active toddlers, I remember those moments. I go to my little daughter or to one of my two boys and say, “Sorry! I don’t have a right to shout at you like that! I am so sorry. Will you forgive me?”

I mean, I get up in the morning and prepare my “Things To Do” list and assume that all my kids would act like adults so that I would be able to finish all I plan to do. Just imagine me running upstairs and downstairs to finish everything that is on my list so I will be totally done with everything when my husband comes home from work. Who told me to do this? No one! It is just my ambition and desire! Hello, “Martha Syndrome” remember?

What will be the result?

I shout at my little kids and blame my hardworking-husband for staying outside leaving me with toddlers at home.

So, what do I need to get rid of the anger?

Well, to stop the anger before it comes out of me? I mean, who can do that? That is impossible to do!

Rather, I need to go to the source of my anger.

Is the source of my anger my little two-year old boy who spilled full cup of milk on my freshly mopped white kitchen floor?

Well, if you were to ask me at that very moment, my answer would have been, “Yes! If he was a bit careful, I wouldn’t lash out at him.” But my boy is a two-year old baby, for crying out loud! What do babies do, right?

The source of my anger is my own ambitious plan for the day.

Does my goal for that day take into consideration the reality of my home, three little kids, 2, 4 and 6 and the fact that I was the only adult with only two hands to take care of the kids, clean the house and cook meals?

Do you see my point?

James writes,

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” James 4:1

Wow! He nailed it, didn’t he?

My kids can only be kids. They cannot grow up in a day and become adults. And I only have two hands not four or six. And instead of getting up and running to do everything that was on my “Things To Do” list, way before I make the list, it is much better to pray and seek the face of God.

You see, it is God who gives success and accomplishment to everything I do, not my strength and energy.

“The horse is prepared for the day of battle, But the victory belongs to [comes from] the LORD.” Proverbs 21:31NASB Amen!

Seeking the face of God calms me down and brings me into my senses so I can plan my day according to my reality.

Yes, for me personally, “prayerlessness” has been the source of my uncontrollable emotional outbursts. I am sure many of you will relate to that. You see, when we pray, we are in a way saying to God, “I can do nothing without Your help,” and we show to God that we depend on Him. And God helps us to have plans, dreams and visions which won’t destroy our present lives, marriages and families.

Other than prayerlessness, there are many reasons why our God-given natural emotion called anger goes out of whack and becomes destructive, reasons such as underlying untreated depression, anxiety, inferiority and/or superiority complex, long-held grudges especially towards our spouse and loved ones and on and on. The underlying emotion that fuels the anger has to be addressed. If not, we go around and blame our boss, the government, our little kids, co-workers and everything else but ourselves. And this in turn ushers this destructive emotion into our marriages, families and our lives and ruin and destroy us and everything we have.

The word of God says,

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20ESV ///