This is one of the messages I pass along to you with so much pain and hurt in my heart because I know that the message represents many homes and marriages, especially now after the pandemic.
The husband is a charming man that everybody loves to talk to and be around. He is a good provider and a good husband to his wife and a dad to his kids, but true only from the surface.
His wife always receives complements from her friends, families and anybody who meets her husband, complements such as, “You are given a husband directly from heaven!” She smiles and agrees with the complements saying, “Yes, praise God!”
But deep down in her heart, she has this fear that doesn’t leave her mind alone. Even if she tries to ignore it, sometimes it speaks to her loudly, saying, “Something is not right with your husband!”
Some wives who are living in a similar situation, amazingly enough, reported seeing scary dreams which make their suspicious and fear even stronger.
Why are they suspicious of their husbands?
Well, not only they feel that there is something with their husbands but they also sometimes find suspicious things in their husband’s phones, such as inappropriate women pictures and text messages he exchanged with other women; voice messages and sometimes they find in their husband’s clothes or cars, things such as used or open box of condoms, Viagra, and similar items.
When a wife of this charming man confronts her husband with these things, he first tries to deny but soon admits the truth and falls at her feet asking her to forgive him.
These men usually marry women who think they are very spiritual but unfortunately they are not well established on the word of God. So, out of the fear of God, they quickly say, “God has forgiven me of many of my sins. So, why shouldn’t I forgive you?” And they quickly wipe their tears and move with their lives as if nothing happened.
The problem is, after few weeks or months, the story repeats itself and the charming husband brings the Bible with him, crying like a baby and swearing in the name of God and his children that he will never to do such a thing again.
The wife says, “I know God hates divorce. So, I forgive you,” and off she goes to her seemingly normal life until the next usual wave hits her home all over again.
Will this pattern stop itself one day?
Usually NEVER!
Never unless the wife takes drastic and decisive steps, such as, saying to her husband things like, “Unless we seek help from the people who can help us, I cannot continue with you.” And she is not saying this for the sake of saying it but she gets up and starts walking her talk.
Those men may say to her in tears, “In the world, I only have you and my kids. If I lose you, I will kill myself.”
(By the way, I have never heard such a man killing himself because his wife and children left him.)
Sometimes some wives try to convince their children how bad their dads are. This is a totally wrong way to solve this problem. This actually makes things worse because children usually don’t have the capacity to believe the story their mothers are telling them, how bad “their loving dad” is. They love their dads! And nothing usually changes this.
And their innocence and relationship with their dads should be protected at any cost for the well-being of the children.
The wife has to seek help from the right people, not from her kids.
And the wife should be very careful not to go to church assuming that she is going to meet and talk to saints. Sometimes she may end up talking to ministers who themselves have been in similar problems or who have absolutely no knowledge as to how to deal with these kinds of issues. They usually know about the kindness and goodness of the husband, nothing else. So, they most likely blame and accuse the wife of being noisy and probably being obsessed by demons or something.
My advice, to all who live in the US (I don’t know any other place that has similar resources and ministries):
- Help is everywhere, in every state and city in America, help such as these:
- Every Man’s Battle workshop
- Learn more about them by calling 1- 800-NEW-LIFE (639-5433) to talk to someone about getting your life and marriage on the road to recovery.
- Pure Life Ministries: – Check out their website
https://www.purelifeministries.org/
- Learn more about them by calling – 1-888-PURELIFE (7873-5433)
- And covenant Eyes Ministries. Check out their website:
This battle can only be won by three things coming together for one purpose: To set the captive free!
- Spiritual support (prayer and study of the word focusing on the problem)
- Counseling focused on the issue, done by trained MEN
- Therapy where it is needed (especially when mental sickness is involved)
We worship a God who not only gives us a second chance in life but fills our hearts and minds with faith, joy and blessing! With God, nothing is impossible! ///