Practical Way of Seeing Our Struggles and Problems

Do you want to change your life? Are you tired of struggling with porn addiction, masturbation, fornication or adultery?

Change your thinking pattern.

Ask yourself what these things mean to you. Understand why God says “No” to these things. Single out and dissect each one of them through the Word of God.

See them through the eyes of God’s Words; Words such as:

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalms 91:1

“The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.” Psalm 23:1

“The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.” Psalm 34:10

Then put your reality next to them. If you lack good things, peace, joy and rest, you will know for sure that the Almighty God is not in the detail of your life. Yes, you’ve received Jesus Christ as your personal Savior but did you receive Him as the Shepherd and Captain of your ship; Captain of your daily life?

As they say, “the devil is in the detail”. You may trust Jesus for your eternal life but maybe you didn’t trust Him for the daily or detail of your life. And guess what, Jesus wants to be the LORD of your daily as well as eternal life!

You see, sometimes we get focused on our problems and struggles so much that we lose sight of the main thing. We focus on the forest and try to solve the problem of the forest while we neglect the health of each tree.

What is taking your money? How do you spend each hour of your day? What is your tongue excited to talk about? Who are the

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people you are hanging out with? What does your leisure time look like? What is your heart after? What do you tend to dwell on? What are you craving for? When you are alone and nobody is looking, what do you do or how do you choose to spend those moments on? Do you point your fingers on others or do you own up your problems? Do you tend to pick up the stone on people for doing the exact thing you’re doing in the dark or do you fall at the feet of God and others and say “save me from myself”?

You see, the details of our life tell the real story. The details sum up our life and give us the answer why we are the way we are. Remember, the health of each tree determines the look and health of the forest. Don’t forget that! ///

Match Making Ministry

“Match Making Ministry”, the phrase of the week!!!

Okay, guys, let’s rock and roll with the idea of match making ministry.

If you are single, live in America or Canada, want to get married and want to try the matching service of A4P, inbox me your basic demographic information:

Name, gender, age (very important), religion, place of residency (full mailing address), phone number, education, language, hobby, any awards or accomplishments, income (very important), name of your church, in what ministry you are serving God in your church (unless you are in the ministry for the last six months, it is not important to mention it, but your membership should be more than six month) and the name of the pastor you are under (very important).

And if you have Facebook account, your Facebook account should be on your real or original or official name. I won’t consider any applicant with the FB name such as “I am the child of God”. Not accepted! Your official name is very, very important. Your Facebook account should have at least a six month history with your pictures. If your friends wrote a comment and used a different nick name, please include that nick name in parenthesis next to your official name, (for example: Meskerem T. Kifetew (Missy)).

If you are reading this via email and don’t have Facebook account, make sure include all the information I mentioned above and make sure

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you write your official name with your nick name and your mailing address. If you have account of any other social networking sites than Facebook such as linkedIn, Instagram, oovoo or twitter, or any, let me know and the name of your account should be on your official name. Your account must have at least a minimum of six month history. Otherwise it is not important to mention it).

If you are married and want to be involved in this ministry in areas such screening and interviewing, inbox me.

For the next two and half hours, I will be on Facebook. If you have question or something, inbox me. I will respond back to each one of you but not as quickly as you may want to. My inbox is getting a little crowded now. So, bear with me. But know this: I will respond back to you as soon as I can.

Take care,

In Him, Missy.

Don’t Do Life Alone!

Satan doesn’t care if we pray and read the Bible as long as we keep our lives to ourselves!!!

As long as we close our hearts so that others won’t come in to our lives, Satan doesn’t bother us.

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Satan will be our best friend when we do life alone. He doesn’t bother us, at all. And we start to think that we are okay people, better than others. We love our selfish life so much that we won’t let it go for the whole world.

Yes, we love Christ and come to church every Sunday but when the question of opening our hearts to others come up, we are on our way.

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But that is where the secret of Christianity is hidden; in opening up our hearts to others. Yes, when we seek the help of others, we find the power of God.

Oh, Beloved, shake the gate of hell by opening up your life for others. Annoy Satan by disclosing your secrets to others. Destroy his hiding place by letting go of your secret lives by inviting others to come and pray with you!!!

As Satan starts leaving you alone, your lifestyle will start calling others to the life of Christ-likeness. Yes, your life starts impacting others in one way or the other.

Precious, if your life is the one given over to Christ, you can’t keep it to yourself. It has to be given over for others. Christ wants to give your life to others so that others will see the light through you. But Christ can’t do that if you have life that is hidden away from others. He can’t do that if you keep your secret life to yourself. He can’t do that if you harbor sin in your life and you continue pretending as if you were alive. Until you settle this with yourself and start opening up, you will remain to be Satan favorite friend. ///

Outstanding Response

Wow, the response for the matching ministry is “insanely wonderful”, lol. I’m very excited!!! Messages are still pouring out in my inbox. Keep it coming!!! Wow, guys, I’m so thankful to be with you all who are positive and full of energy and enthusiasm.

I also want to say “Thank you”, for those of you, for taking your time

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to drop a note and encourage me to continue with the idea. That is great!

I also want to leave a special “Thank You” note to the brothers and sisters in Boston who prayed for me and A4P yesterday on their Wednesday morning prayer meeting. Amazing! I don’t even know them!!! But they know me through the Spirit we all share. Thank you so much my beloved brothers and

sisters!!! May God bless you!!!

And now I need more people who will say something like: “I can help you with generating a questionnaire” (which is a key role, to filter out fakes, liars, and jokers); or “I can help you with advertising the idea” or; “I can help you with making flyers so that more people will hear about it” or something.

Don’t ever think that I can do this by myself. I am just one body part. If, let’s say, I’m the pinky finger, what can a pinky finger accomplish without the help of the hand, arm and the whole body? Nothing!!!

I have received enough “what if you meet a lion on your way” kind of messages. Guys, we need to have a certain amount of fear when we do the work of God but not to the extent for the fear to disable us. Let’s be positive since God is working with us. Let’s be ready to jump in to bring the idea into a reality so that perhaps we may help somebody else out there.

Some people said: “What if a couple gets married and decide to get divorced? Do you know that they are going to blame you and A4P?”

Let’s be clear on something here: There are always people who are going to blame us for their fault. There are always people out there who will say things which are not true about us. Whether we go out from our comfort zone to do the work of God to help others or we lock ourselves up in our room, to do nothing, there are people who will say something negative about us. Am I right? We can do nothing about that. We can’t change that reality. We can’t go door to door to try to change people. So, if that is the case, why don’t we just concentrate on those things which we can bring a difference to?

Remember, a matching service will only introduce a couple to each other. It doesn’t throw them a wedding party so that they will get married. It doesn’t force them to get married either. These two people, one man and one woman, will be introduced to each other and the rest is their own responsibility. These are two adults who should be responsible to make their relationship work, not the matching service.

Another thing is this: Whenever I say “RARE JEWEL” or “RARE SAPPHIRE”, I’m not only referring to virgins, guys. Remember, precious stones usually go through fire for them to start shinning!!! So, being a virgin is not a criterion to be a candidate for matching ministry!!! And as I always say, “physical virginity is not the only sign of sexual purity”. (Please read my November, December, January and February articles).

Okay, I’ve to go now. Looking forward to hearing from those of you who already pulled your sleeves up to get to work.

The best Bible verse to close this note with: “The God of heaven will give us success. We His servants will start rebuilding” the House of God, but as for the devil, he won’t have any share. (Nehemiah 2:20).

One of the most interesting questions I was asked this week

One of the most interesting questions I was asked this week was this:

“What is your take on the thought of “Woman’s role after marriage (which some tend to call it: Biblical Womanhood)? Certain groups of people from this group called "womanhood" are actually writing books and are saying that a woman after she is married, she has to work at home, take care of the household and raise her kids. They say that it is wrong to use birth control, it is wrong to send kids to school rather than home schooling them. They said that the husband is not only the head but the priest of the house. What do you think about these things?”

BTW, they also say that woman should never teach or preach.

Well, I love those people who stand behind the thought of “womanhood”. These people are the ones who are calling America and the Church back to their original place. These are the people who are receiving all the threat and hatred emails titled “You Bigots” whenever the definition of marriage is on the table. They are almost the only ones who appear on TV and mainstream media (MSM) to speak about faith, marriage and family according to the Word of God, fearlessly. They play the most important role on preserving the sanctity of human life since they are against any form of abortion.

Not only I love them but I support some of their ministries too (I wish I could support all their ministries). They ministered to me, personally, in a unique and godly way. I’m very thankful for them all!!!

Yes, I do love and support them BUT I don’t agree on some of their stands. Just because I disagree with some of their stands, I won’t hold my love and support from them.

As a rule of thumb, I believe, our love and support should win over our minor disagreements. I believe we should not let one or two disagreements divide us over. When we are divided, we lose power because the Spirit of God only works through love!!!

So, I agree with most of their stands but not all of them. That doesn’t mean that I will send them a hate email or rally against them, holding a sign that says “Go back to the 12th Century”.

Are you kidding? It is because of them that I’m freely able to launch a ministry such as "Appeal for Purity" which is touching on the very sensitive life issues of human life such as SEX, MARRIAGE BETWEEN ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN and sexual purity!!! May the LORD increase their numbers throughout the world!!!

So, where do I disagree with them?

Okay, let’s see. They say, "It is wrong to use birth control."

Well, I give a four month long class, with a good brother and pastor of our church family ministry. It is a premarital class given to couples who are going to marriage this year (we give these classes every year). So, you can just imagine which topics I’m responsible to teach.

So, when I get to the birth control issue, I always say this: As a couple, please sit down and discuss your personal conviction around birth control. If you think that God convicted you both to

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use nothing whatsoever to prevent pregnancy, please by all means, follow your conviction. However, if, for example, a husband thinks that birth control is sin and if a wife thinks that it is good to use birth control, please don’t proceed to marriage because you will face serious conflict which may end your marriage.

Yes, it is a big issue. They have to be on the same page.

I personally don’t want to preach to anyone what to do in this regard. However, I will tell you what I know and understand to be against the Word of God and it is up to you to accept or reject it.

Fertilization begins within 24 hours of fertilization (the egg of the woman is being fertilized by the sperm of the husband). That fertilized egg is life, my Dear! That is not a piece of meat. Why? Because the Bible says this:

“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book” Psalm 139: 13, 16

“Unformed body”, means, there is no leg, brain, heart or anything. It is unformed body and God is in the process of knitting it.

Another Bible verse that makes my eyes teary is this: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you” (Jeremiah 1:5a)

My Dearest, I’m not only talking about a fertilized egg here but also about a life that is known only by God. This Bible verse tells us one big TRUTH! Are you ready??? Well, this Bible verse tells us that NO BABY IS AN ACCIDENT!!! They come because God already thought them even before they were knitted and formed in their mothers’ womb.

That being said, any procedure or medicine or method that prevents a fertilized egg from growing is against the Word of God; which makes the act sinful.

Some researchers said, “Today, the most risky and unsafe place for a kid to be found is not a public high school, or a college or a bad neighborhood in Africa but TO BE FOUND IN HIS MOTHER’S WOMB!” (They said this because of the increase in number of babies who get aborted every year. One abortion clinics, for example, in Chicago, their sewage system was clogged and when the maintenance people came, they found little babies’ body parts – you can find the news on Google).

Continuing on with the topic, all methods, medicines and procedures, which kill the “unformed body” of a baby are called abortion methods.

Let’s see some of them if they are considered as abortion methods. First, of course, we should know that the literal procedure of abortion is included in the category of a procedure which kills a baby – (any form of abortion which is done in all pregnancy stages are considered abortion or the killing of the baby. The barbaric method of abortion is the one they do when the baby comes out of his mother’s womb. It is called partial birth abortion. When they baby comes out of his mom’s body, it is his/her head that comes first; then the mom will be told not to push until they suck her baby’s brain out. Then the still or dead body of the baby will be cut into pieces so that it will come out easily. Google and learn from the women who let this procedure be done on them and who found it hard to forgive themselves. Very sad!)

Who tells us all these things? Who brings out all these things to light??? Mostly, people from “womanhood” group!!!

I know it is very hard to read this and hard for me to write it down but it is very necessary sometimes to spell everything. Why? I meet people who say to me, “I didn’t know that they were doing it this way. Now I regret that I let them do that barbaric procedure on me and my baby. How can I forgive myself?”

So, you and I can help create awareness everywhere we go so that no woman will be victim of ignorance.

By the way, abortion is a multimillion dollar business. Some think and claim that it is a non-profit business “to help women”. Outrageous!!! It is not helping women; it is destroying their spirit!!!

Some people say to me: “These people who do abortion are doing it to help woman not to be poor. They are very kind and they die for the cause to help all women because they are convinced by the safe method of abortion and how women are benefited from it.” Hilarious!!! (Those of you who are in Africa, take note of this because they are in every city of African, publicizing their abortion meds as birth control – I will come to this in the next paragraphs. Please read on).

My Dearest, abortion clinics are making million dollars by convincing people, like you and me, so that we decide to kill our own kids. Are you kidding? They should die for the cause because the cause is their only money generating avenue.

Well, if I’m asked to take one side from the two sides, the one side which is against birth control, and the other side which is for birth control, I will choose the one which is against because it doesn’t give flesh an opportunity to play with fire.

Few years ago, a lady called me. And she said she wanted to start one of the birth control methods. And she said, “What do you think of IUD?”

I said this to her in simple sentence: “I think and believe IUD is not a birth control method but a method which kills a fertilized egg. Yes, I know sometimes it may prevent the sperm from getting to the egg but there is evidence that shows that IUD preventing the implantation of a fertilized egg on a uterus or in another word “it prevents or stops the development of an the unformed body” of the baby.”

She said quickly, “I’m a Christian and I grow up in a Christian family. We all are Christians. Most my families are ministers. All the women in my family are using IUD as a birth control.”

I said, “Okay?”

She said, “I mean, what is wrong with it? All my family members said that it is safe.”

“First, something is safe doesn’t mean that it is right. Second, two wrongs don’t add up to make the action right. Because all your families use it doesn’t mean that it is a right method.”

She said, “But I don’t think it is wrong to use IUD.”

I said, “You asked me a question, I answered it to the best of my knowledge and conviction. Making a decision or a choice is yours.”

I sometimes get a little confused why people ask if they already made up their mind on the issue. I really don’t know!

Okay, the next idea of “womanhood” is this: “Home schooling kids is the best strategy to raise kids for the Kingdom of God. If we send them to school, we are sinning against God.”

I agree, but I don’t agree where they said that it is sin to send our kids to school. As we stay home with our kids, and train them up in ways they should go, we sure want them to stay outside bringing others to Christ. Do you know 70% of born again Christians come to Christ before the age of 18?

Yes, we need our kids to be out on a field, if you know what I mean.

If I decide to teach them home, the whole day, that is fine too as long as I give them a certain exposure to the outside world. But I believe that I won’t sin against God if I send them to school.

Another point, “It is sin for a woman to work outside of home”.

Well, I agree that it is the best way for we, mothers, to choose to stay home with our kids. But I don’t agree categorizing all women who are in the work force as sinners. For some, their work might be their call. I mean, it would have been wonderful if all mothers chose to stay home and raised their kids. That would be a gift for our society.

But I don’t know if it is wise to condemn those people who have to work outside their house for many reasons.

BTW, I am a full-time mom and I am doing my role of mothering with joy and happiness. But I refrain from considering those of my friends who work outside their house as sinners.

If it was sin for a woman to work outside of her house, Proverbs 31st woman would have been a candidate for hell. Precious, she was a very known and respected merchant. People may argue saying that she was doing her work at home. Well, she can’t do her business sitting in her kitchen. She didn’t have a laptop. As we read on Proverbs 31st, she had servants to take care of the house chores while she did what? Doing business; buying and selling.

Another womanhood’s people idea: “Husbands are not only leaders of their household but they are also priests of their household”, I agree 100% but they forgot that husbands are servants too as Jesus was to His Disciples (He washed their feet).

Another one, “Women should not speak in the church or teach.”

Well, I will be in trouble if I said I agree with this thought because I am one of the women who stand behind the pulpit.

Well: “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28) Did you hear that?

The one thing Jesus demolished from those religious society (Jews), the society He came from, was man’s supremacy. Beloved without Jesus, we women would have been continued to be looked at as a second citizen and/or (as I read it on the book of one particular religion), we would have been considered as “a piece of Lucifer” or as "a piece of hades (hell)” or even trash.

But Jesus set us all free, may all the glory and grace be to Him!!! So, NO ONE, I WILL SAY IT AGAIN, NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT FREEDOM AWAY FROM ME!!! (Read the story of Jesus in all four Books of the Gospel and notice what kinds of women Jesus chose to talk to, eat with, touch, heal and tell the Gospel to!!!! Just beautiful!!!)

I still believe, though, men should be at the leader position with some reservation (I have no problem with women being CEOs of a company but I choose – again, not to be divided over, but I choose a church to be led by a man.)

I will discuss some other time why Paul said those things some people (or I may say, respectfully, some men) get obsessed with (1 Corinthians 14).

Well, by now, you know where my stand is when it comes to the idea of womanhood. This is not all. I will deal with the rest of things another time. For now, I think this is enough. The bottom line is this: I LOVE THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE FOR WOMANHOOD! And I agree with them in most of their points.

Aftershock Effect of Sex Outside of Marriage

“Before we got married, one day we found ourselves alone in my apartment and in the heat of it all, we had sex. We knew that it was sin against God but from that day on, we continued to have sex at least twice a week. We somehow couldn’t stop. We knowingly continued sinning against God. Every time we had sex, we enjoyed it even though we felt guilty all

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the time. We were looking forward to our marriage to do sex without feeling guilty. But after we got married, we have no sexual pleasure. It feels like getting married spoiled it all. It took all the sexual pleasure we used to experience. We confessed our sin and we even went to our pastor, told him everything and he prayed for us. But our marital bed becomes a war zone. I blame her and she blames me for our past sin. I can’t perform and she doesn’t have any sexual desire at all. I don’t feel anything looking at her naked body and she is not sensitive for any of my touch either. It’s now been eight months since we got married and we have no sexual pleasure at all. We both hate our bedroom. Other than confessing our sin to God and to our pastor, what else can we

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This is what I call “the aftershock” effect of sex outside marriage.

In medicine, when a patient goes to an emergency room for overdose or binge drinking or what have you, they first “detoxify” the person from the toxin before they treat the underlining addiction and/or psychological problems which led the person to that stage. This process is called “detoxification” (removal of the toxin). The goal in all detox is to bring the person back to normal.

Detoxification doesn’t treat the patient’s addiction problem or any underlying physical and/or psychological problems.

Detoxification is not an enjoyable process for the person who is addicted to a substance or to the person who wants to kill him/herself because it brings them back to normal. Their body will be free of the toxin. After detox, their brain won’t be cloudy anymore. They can see, hear and think clearly. They face the reality of their life clearly. Their psych is back to normal; at least for a time being.

Once patients are free of the toxin, they will immediately go back to their addiction the next day or try to kill themselves again unless otherwise they are put in some kind of treatment or therapy and/or counseling programs immediately after detox. Not only that but they have to have some sort of support system which may help them go through the process that may, in some cases, takes years. During this time, some may get depressed and feel hopeless. But as the day goes by, slowly but surely if they stay the course, they start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. They start embracing a life that is free of any toxin and/or psychological problems (such as depression or anxiety) which were destroying their lives from the inside out. Then they will look back and say “Was it me who was in that dungeon?”

Do you see where I’m going with that? Do you see the connection?

Just like that when people get involved in premarital sex, they will get contaminated by a toxin called sin. As they keep on taking that toxin, they get addicted to it.

The first day they face the full blown of the consequences of their sin is the day they get overdosed with the toxin (the Bible says: Your sin will find you out, Numbers 32:23).

And at this time they know that something is not right and they confess their sin. Then they will find out that confessing their sin is not going to solve their problem. So they go to their pastor and confess their sin. That is a process I call “spiritual detoxification”. Then most of the time, the couple wants to go home and enjoy sex.

But our mind, body and spirit can’t just switch from one lifestyle to another in one night (in unique and exceptional situations, visitation of God can do miracle in people’s life and their lives can be switched overnight from one extreme to another but this kind of visitation cannot be true for everyone).

So after a couple goes through a process called spiritual detoxification, they have to go through the process I call “all-around healing” which may take some time.

During the all-around healing process, their minds will be renewed by the Word of God. Their spiritual health receives major treatment as they sit and study the Word of God. They learn what marriage and sexual pleasure are all about according to the Word of God. They seek God with others who are sincerely and genuinely seek God and live for God.

Then they confidently declare their victory. After this step, most couples experience a sexual pleasure they never knew exist. What they called pleasure before they got married was nothing compare to the pleasure they are experiencing after they receive their “all around healing”. They can’t express this pleasure; only experience it.

To my surprise, in most cases, couples who go through these tough processes are the ones who seek close fellowship with God; they are the ones who seek God with all their hearts and minds; and most of the time, these couples are the ones who eventually choose to serve God and others.

Whenever I teach this topic to live audience, I sometimes see couples looking at each other, as if to say “We had sex before marriage but we didn’t go through this tough road she is talking about. We must be lucky or our sin might not be that bad.”

Oh, may the LORD reveal to them the truth. When they see and understand the truth as it is, they desire to be instruments of God; then their desire in turn puts them through the tough road of being set apart for God and the Work of God.

Good Marriages don’t just happen

Looking at a beautiful garden, will you say “they are lucky to have this garden”? No, you won’t because you know that it is not luck which gave them the beautiful garden but their hard work.

In the

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same way, beautiful marriages don’t just happen by chance or luck.

Own the Blame

Hmm, when we knowingly sin against God, we have nobody else to blame but ourselves.


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can’t say “I don’t have strength to say “No” to sin”, because God’s word says, “My grace is sufficient for you” (2 Corinthians 12:9). We can’t say, “I didn’t know”, because His Word says that we have received anointing from Him and we don’t need anyone to teach us (1 John 2:27). We can’t say, “I don’t have what others have” because His Word says, “His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3), on and on.

Every Truth of God shows us that we are the ones to be blamed for our sins, nobody else, not others, not situations and circumstances, and not God, nor the devil.

When we blame others, we are indirectly saying: “If I was not married to this woman, I would have led a sexually pure life.”

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Or, “If I was not in this dark situation, I would have been leading a sexually pure lifestyle.” Or, the famous one, “If it was not for the devil, by now I would have been the one to resurrect the dead ones.”

God’s Word always reflects to us who we really are, and in a way warns us not to transfer the blame to anyone but ourselves. And that is a very important truth we need to keep in our hearts.

Do you know why that is important? Well, when we know that we have nobody to blame, we realize that what we are actually fighting against is who we are.

Then perhaps we may be able to come to Him and cry, “Abba Father, save me from myself”; a wonderful prayer God loves to answer!!!

Realistic Expectation

Expecting different outcome while doing the same thing in the same way is like expecting our cars one day to fly us on the sky. It ain’t happen!

Sexual sin won’t leave us alone until we change our “routines” which got us in trouble in the first place. If we are still taking that corner and dark place in the library, not to study but in fact to do our own secret stuff, we won’t be free from our sin. Actually we tighten up the grip of sin on our life. “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13)

Be radical and change your routines so that you will forsake your sin. Then you will find out that after all victory was at your doorstep, and you will also stop blaming God for not answering your prayers.

Oh, Precious, God does hear your prayers and He answers them. But always remember this: God won’t do your part; only His.

Purity for the brave hearted!