Loving Wives — Part 3: A New Heart for Christlike Love
The Word of God says:
“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.”— Lamentations 3:22–23
You have no idea how much I love those two words, “steadfast love!”
The Hebrew word behind this expression is ḥesed. What a rich word! It speaks of steadfast, loyal, covenant-keeping love and mercy.
So, when we speak of God’s ḥesed, we are speaking of His faithful, covenant-keeping love expressed through His mercy and loyal kindness.
What greater source of comfort do we need on this side of heaven than God’s steadfast love, His mercy, and His faithful kindness?
They are fountains of comfort and hope to those of us who trust in the Lord Jesus Christ as our only Savior and hope.
All this to say, I am here today, writing to you, my dear readers and viewers, because of God’s mercies, which are new every morning.
And I am sure you are as thankful as I am for God’s ḥesed!
What a gracious God we worship!
Continuing Our Series: Loving Wives
Today, I want to continue where we left off in our series called “Loving Wives.”
If this is your first time seeing this post, please read the previous two posts so that today’s discussion will make more sense to you.
Last time, we ended by encouraging husbands who do not know Christ to repent and believe in Him, and Christian husbands who are discouraged by their remaining sin to continue pursuing obedience in dependence upon Christ.
Today, however, I want to go back a little.
I particularly want to address husbands who may find it difficult—or even foolish—to love their wives with the holy, faithful, patient, sacrificial, and self-giving love that Scripture commands.
Remember God’s command:
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” — Ephesians 5:25
Why does this command exceed the natural spiritual ability of a fallen man?
To understand this, we must first consider what Jesus said about the necessity of being born again.
Unless One Is Born Again!
Our Lord Jesus Christ said to Nicodemus:
“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” — John 3:3
Now, remember who Nicodemus was!
He was a Pharisee, a ruler of the Jews, and a teacher of Israel.
He knew the Law of Moses. He was religiously educated and held a respected position among the Jewish people.
In the eyes of many, Nicodemus would have been considered a godly and knowledgeable man.
Yet Jesus told him that unless a person is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
Think about that!
His religious education, biblical knowledge, and respected position could not give him spiritual life.
He needed something that no religious education or human effort could produce.
He needed to be born of the Spirit of God!
And if this was necessary for Nicodemus, it is necessary for all of us, the children of Adam.
The Natural Person Cannot Receive the Things of the Spirit
The Word of God says:
“The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.” — 1 Corinthians 2:14
Who is this natural person?
The natural person is someone who has not been born again by the Holy Spirit.
He is spiritually dead in his trespasses and sins, alienated from God, and without the spiritual life necessary to receive the things of God with saving faith.
This does not mean that he cannot intellectually understand biblical words or recognize the beauty of certain biblical teachings.
Rather, sin has so corrupted his nature that, apart from God’s regenerating grace, he cannot spiritually embrace and delight in God’s truth as he ought.
And this brings us back to Ephesians 5:25.
A husband may hear the command to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He may understand the words. He may even admire such sacrificial love.
But apart from the transforming grace of God, he cannot produce that Christ-centered love as an expression of genuine, saving faith.
He needs a new heart!
And who can give him that new heart?
God alone!
God Is the One Who Gives a New Heart!
Remember God’s promise in Ezekiel 36:26–27.
Notice all the “I will” statements.
“I will give you a new heart.”
“I will remove the heart of stone.”
“I will put My Spirit within you.”
“I will cause you to walk in My statutes.”
What do these promises tell us?
God Himself takes the initiative in giving spiritual life!
That is why Jesus said:
“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day.” — John 6:44
And the Apostle John writes:
“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” — John 1:12–13
Did you hear that?
“But of God!”
Salvation is not the achievement of the sinner. It is the gracious work of God!
The Holy Spirit gives spiritual life, enabling the sinner to respond to the gospel in repentance and faith.
And when a person comes to Christ, what does the Bible say about him?
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” — 2 Corinthians 5:17
Oh, what a glorious truth!
The sinner who was spiritually dead has been made alive in Christ!
And Christ remains the source of his spiritual life and fruitfulness, not merely at the moment of conversion, but throughout his earthly life.
That is why Jesus said:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” — John 15:5
But please do not miss the bigger picture here.
It is God who gives the new heart! It is God who opens the sinner’s heart to receive the gospel!
Remember Lydia?
Acts 16:14 tells us that while Paul was preaching, the Lord opened Lydia’s heart to pay attention to what Paul was saying.
Paul preached.
But the Lord opened her heart!
And it is this same God who brings spiritually dead sinners to life today.
Now, listen to what the Apostle Paul says about this marvelous work of God’s grace.
But God, Being Rich in Mercy!
I want you to read Ephesians 2:1–10 carefully.
Paul begins by reminding us who we were before God saved us.
We were dead in our trespasses and sins.
We followed the course of this world.
We lived according to the desires of our sinful nature.
We were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.
What a hopeless condition!
But then, in verse 4, come two of the most beautiful words in all of Scripture:
“But God!”
Oh, I love those two words!
Listen:
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—” — Ephesians 2:4–5
Do you see?
We were dead in our trespasses and sins.
But God made us alive!
We were following the course of this world.
But God, being rich in mercy, rescued us!
We were by nature children of wrath.
But God, because of His great love, made us alive together with Christ!
And why did He do this?
Was it because we were good?
Was it because we were morally better than other people?
Was it because we had somehow made ourselves worthy of His mercy?
Oh, no!
It was because of His great love and rich mercy!
Paul continues:
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” — Ephesians 2:8–9
And verse 10 tells us that we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
Do you see the order?
God does not save us because of our good works. He saves us by His grace and creates us anew for good works!
And that brings us right back to the husband who is commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the church.
A husband does not earn God’s saving grace by loving his wife.
It is God’s grace that makes a spiritually dead sinner alive in Christ, giving him a new heart from which genuine, God-glorifying obedience can begin to flow.
Oh, how lavishly God has revealed His grace to sinners like you and me!
This is the story of God’s mercy!
This is the story of His undeserved favor toward those who could never save themselves!
And this brings me back to those beautiful words with which I began:
“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end.”
What greater evidence of God’s steadfast love can we contemplate than His gracious work of saving sinners through His Son, Jesus Christ?
We were dead. But God made us alive together with Christ!
What a gracious God we worship!
And now, the question before us is this:
If it is God who gives a man a new heart, what difference should that new heart make in the way he loves his wife?
Lord willing, we will continue from here next time. ///