Wives, Submit to Your Husband. Why?

Praise God! I am back by the mercy and grace of God.

Thank you very much, and may God bless you, my friends, for praying for me while I was away from all of Appeal for Purity’s platforms. I was feeling a bit exhausted and needed a break, and by His grace and mercy, the Lord provided me with a restful one. May our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, be praised.

To refresh my memory, I just reread our last post. What a beautiful introduction to the true biblical teaching on marriage! Praise God for that. If you haven’t read it yet, I encourage you to do so now, so you can follow along with today’s post.

So, without further delay, let’s continue where we left off.

Here is the full passage from the Book of Ephesians that speaks about marriage:

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:22-33 (ESV)

As you can see, this is a concise passage, yet it is filled with countless treasures of God’s truth for us to explore, study, and be blessed by. As always, our goal is not to rush through it but to move slowly and carefully, ensuring we grasp every fundamental point that God’s Word calls us to embrace.

Just by looking at the passage above, we notice something striking: God’s Word dedicates significantly more words to describing the husband’s role (195 words) than the wife’s (54 words, based on the KJV word count). This raises an important question—why? Is it fair to assign the husband so many responsibilities while giving the wife primarily one role, which can be summed up as “submitting to her own husband?”

I don’t know about you, but I have asked that very question. And I believe the answer might be this: The husband is the head of his household—the CEO of this sacred institution called “marriage,” a covenant that bears the stamp of heaven and reflects the glory of God. In light of this, all the responsibilities and commands given to the husband align with the weight of the role God has entrusted to him.

Meanwhile, the wife’s primary call is to submit—a call that, in reality, applies to all Christians. Submission is the vital, pulsating “organ” that keeps a believer connected to the Vine, Jesus Christ. Without submission, there is no true Christianity. Therefore, when we look at marriage through the lens of God’s divine design, we see that both the husband’s and the wife’s roles are fair, consistent, and perfectly aligned with their God-given purpose.

The passage begins with this powerful verse:

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)

A short and simple verse to memorize, right? Yes, but it carries profound depth and significance—one that requires careful unpacking!

First, let’s take some time to unpack the word “submission” since it is the central theme in the call of a wife—and, in fact, in the call of all Christians, including the husband. If we develop a clear understanding of what submission truly means, we will be better equipped to move on to the next verse.

To do this, we need to look just one verse above, at Ephesians 5:21, which says:

“Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

This verse lays the foundation for understanding biblical submission in the context of marriage and beyond.

From the context of the passage, we understand that this instruction (verse 21) was given to all Christians—not just wives. Every believer is called to submit to one another.

Why?

Good question!

Who are Christians?

Christians, apart from Christ, are nothing—just a bunch of nobodies (1 Corinthians 1:26-31). They are who they are before God only because of what Jesus Christ has done on their behalf. While on earth, Jesus lived a perfect and righteous life, died on the cross for their sins, satisfied the wrath of God, and freed them from the debt and penalty of sin.

But that’s not all. In Christ, God went even further—He adopted each believer as His child. He didn’t have to, but out of His boundless love, He did (John 1:12; Romans 8:15; 1 John 3:1). Not only are Christians forgiven, but they are also seated in heavenly places, right next to their Big Brother, Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:6).

So, who are Christians without God?

Nobodies!

While living on this earth, Christians closely resemble lambs—vulnerable and dependent on their Shepherd for protection. Without Him, they would be defenseless, just like lambs that fall prey to danger.

Do you know what this means? It means that Christians live in the constant presence of their Shepherd—God. Wherever they go, God, who purchased each one of them with the precious blood of His only Son, Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 6:20), is always with them. As a Faithful Shepherd, He leads them “beside quiet waters” (John 10:11, 14; Psalm 23), providing guidance, protection, and peace.

The King of kings and the Lord of lords is not distant—He is among them!

How do common people behave in the presence of their king? How do they treat one another? With honor and dignity!

Why? Because of their deep respect and reverence for the presence of their king.

In the same way, God’s Word calls Christians to submit to one another “out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). They are not just living ordinary lives—they are living every moment in the presence of the King of kings, the One who sees and hears everything.

Doesn’t this truth give you Goosebumps—both in thrill and terror? Thrill, knowing that our Shepherd is always with us, guiding and protecting us. Terror, realizing how easily we forget His presence and live as if we have no God at all.

The point is that Christians should always see themselves before God, measuring everything in light of His holiness and perfection, for they are called to imitate Him (Ephesians 5:1). They are not called to compare themselves with one another.

Before God, we are nothing but clay—mere dust. Recognizing this truth gives us the humility, motivation, and desire to submit to one another. Without this awareness and “reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21), our natural instinct is to submit to no one.

Why? Because pride is ingrained in us—it is the default condition of the human heart due to original sin.

As always, the Word of God does not leave us to rely on our own imaginations or assumptions when it comes to understanding the kind of submission He calls us to. Instead, He provides us with a perfect example.

To find that example, all we need to do is turn to Philippians 2.

“Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Philippians 2:5-8 (NASB)

Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, came to earth, lived a righteous life, and died a shameful death—even death on a cross. But on the third day, He rose from the dead, completely defeating death, Satan, and sin. He then ascended to heaven, and soon, He will return to take those who belong to Him and to judge the world that rejects Him.

Why?

To save us, His people, right?

Well, that is true, but it is not the main reason.

The primary reason Christ did all of this was His submission to the Father. His obedience and willingness to please the Father were at the heart of His mission. And ultimately, His submission led to His exaltation—being enthroned above every name, rule, authority, power, and dominion.

In the grand scheme of God’s plan, Jesus Christ lived and died for God!

In the same way, Christians live and die for their Savior, not for themselves (Romans 14:8).

This is why submission is one of the defining marks of those who have truly made Jesus Christ their Savior and Lord.

Now, let’s return to the verse we set out to study today, even though we won’t finish unpacking it just yet:

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)

Now, do you see submission more clearly?

A wife submits to her husband’s leadership out of her reverence for Christ, recognizing that God is the Author of marriage and that He designed it with a specific order: for the husband to lead and for the wife to submit to his leadership.

Through her submission, the wife glorifies God and demonstrates to the watching world who her Lord and Savior truly is.

A wife who is disconnected from the Lord Jesus Christ and lacks a deep, reverent relationship with Him cannot develop the capacity, desire, motivation, or reason to submit to her husband. This reverence for Christ is not something that happens by chance—it must be cultivated daily through reading, studying, meditating on, and obeying God’s Word, praying, and fellowshipping with other believers.

Without this foundation, a wife may become the kind of wife that Scripture warns against:

“A disgraceful wife is like decay in his [her husband’s] bones.” (Proverbs 12:4b)

May God help and protect us all, wives, from ever becoming a disgrace wife to our husbands . . . cont’d ///