My sister and her husband are at “the Weekend to Remember” getaway program for married couples hosted by the Family Life Ministry (familyministry.com). If you remember, my Berhan and I went to this program three weeks ago. Now it is their turn. So, their kids are with us since yesterday night. You can just imagine our Saturday with six kids. Our three kids had an “All Nighter” program hosted by Grace Baptist Church yesterday night. They literally stayed up the whole night. The program starts with a prayer and worship, followed by a short sermon and ends with bowling, skating (rollerblading) rock climbing and laser tagging as they go from one place to another by bus for the whole night. Yeah! This program comes only once a year and all our kids die to go!

Anyways, they just came back from there and you can just imagine; their cousins want them to stay up and they want to stay up too but they look like zombies. I try to keep all of them up so that they enjoy each other’s presence.

While I do that, I opened my laptop and saw one question which was dropped off in my inbox yesterday night and that question caught my attention. So, the question goes like this:

“I read some of your writings and heard most of your teachings you uploaded on YouTube. They sound good. I see that you try to teach good life principles. But looking around us, reality tells a different story than your teaching. I’m sure you know that very well. And while you are preparing and delivering your message, I assume that you have some doubts and questions since your teaching and reality of life are two different things. Am I right in my assumption?”

First, thank you for reading and listening to my messages. It is something to deliver your message in writing and speech but it is a completely different ball game to find someone to read and listen to your messages. So, I won’t take you for granted! Thank you!

Second, you are right in your assumptions! Do I have doubts and questions? Maybe I have more doubts and questions than you may have. I didn’t come to the ministry because all my doubts and zillions of my questions have been answered. I wish that was the case.

I have doubts and questions and if you are interested to hear some of my doubts and questions, let me share with you two of them: The hardest doubt which hits me hard so far is this: “Is God real?” Scary, isn’t it? I used to be scared whenever this kind of doubt passes through my mind but I don’t get scared anymore. Do you know why?

Well, God is not scared of my doubts when I bring them to Him. He is a True God and He has no doubt in Himself. And I am now kind of addicted to those flickers of doubts which come to my mind because when they do come, I turn them to God in total honesty; and God reveals something to me and that truth “undone-s” my doubt! I get lost in awe of Him! I forget everything and disappear in His Truth!

The hardest question for me right now is this: “What is life going to be like without being a sexual being in heaven?” I ask that because I believe that sex has a place in this life only. Well, some Bible scholars assert that there will be sex in heaven but I kind of doubt that because of what I so far know about sex and what it represents here.

Do I have questions and doubts? I do! But know this: I don’t present my doubts and questions in a teaching format as if I had nswers for them. No, I won’t. I strive to share only my convictions. My doubts, questions and fears, I search answers for them and when I think I find answers for them, I bring them in a message form.

I don’t think I will ever get to the point where I won’t have any doubt, question, and fear because I don’t think there is such a life in this side of heaven.

I love what Paul says about these things. He says, “ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. . . For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:9-10, 12

Wow! Did you read that? Isn’t that an amazing truth! I only know little and with that little truth I think I got, I run to share it with others. But when I finish my race here and go to be at Christ’s presence; there at His presence, when I see Him face to face, I know everything in FULL! And I know Him FULLY! And, don’t miss this: And I come to know without any doubt that I myself AM KNOWN FULLY BY HIM!

Do I have doubts and questions? You bet I do! Zillions! But I also have His love and presence which keep saying to me, “Go! I’m with you!”

One last note: I don’t prepare my teaching so that it will create harmony with the reality of our life; but so that the Truth of God will create a reality in our life that matches and harmonizes with the Truth of God. ///