I kind of like this anniversary celebration thingy, don’t you? I woke up this morning around 4 and said, “Bravo! I will post something exciting today!”

You see, I find it to be exciting because the posts seem to help me to count my blessings. Sometimes with all the hustle and bustle of life, we tend to forget the blessings of God in our lives, don’t we? So, I like this opportunity to at least count some of my blessings.

What am I talking about?

Well, my husband and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary which is going to be on Monday, March 27. If you didn’t get a chance to read my March 21st post, please do so and jump into the wagon and ride with us.

Do you see the picture I’m sharing with you today?

It is my older son, Abel Banko, and I. I was literally crazy about this little boy. Abel is now 18 year old young man, a rising senior, soon to be a freshman in university. Time flies!

When Abel came into our lives, talk about being consumed, I was totally lost. Everything I do and say was influenced by this little guy. If I talk on the phone, whoever I was talking to, I will tell them everything about Abel, what he does and says. Mind you, he was only one month old. My attention was totally taken.

The “not-good” part of the story is this: I completely forgot about my husband. Yes, I did. I thought he was my roommate, not my husband.

I was enjoying my life with my little one while my husband was sitting at the corner, wondering what should he be doing to get my attention. It used to be an easy thing for him to pull me into his world until this point but once Abel invaded my life, whatever my husband was doing to get my attention was flying over my head. My attention was totally hijacked.

Is this a good thing?

Are you kidding me? It is a bad thing; I was the most immature and unlearned wife on this planet! Well, I still have some immaturity that I need to work on.

As a newly mother, I didn’t know that my number one priority shouldn’t be my son, but my husband; my marriage shouldn’t come second, but first.

Think about it for a second: If there is no healthy marriage, can there be a healthy home where a mother can raise a healthy son?

I praise God for blessing me with a wise husband, a man who is okay with losing the battle while winning the war.

What does it mean?

The battle is to get my attention; the war is to keep his marriage intact in the middle of a severe storm.

Not being able to get his wife’s attention ain’t a small thing for any young man, but if a young man chooses to be wise, he will get his wife’s attention by deciding to win the war.

Let me share with you what my husband had done. May the name of Jesus Christ be praised forever for saving our marriage at this stage of life!

When my husband comes from work, he rolls up his sleeves and gets to work. He doesn’t sit with a remote control (or with his laptop) but helps me around the house. He sometimes takes Abel from me and says, “Go out and just drive around.”

Oh, yeah, I still have good memories of those days, going outside and taking fresh air, all by myself after breast feeding my son for the whole day.

So, here is my message for today: Life is too hard! No question about that! And marriage is no exception since it is part of life. If you are married, listen to me carefully. This world, Satan and your flesh are always working very hard to destroy your marriage. What you need is to always make every possible effort to stay focused and determined to never lose the war. You can’t do that unless you have intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit. Don’t forget that.

If you’re a wife of one man, make “My husband comes first” your rule of thumb. Make your husband’s needs, especially his sexual needs, your number one priority. He is a man, not a woman. He can’t be as crazy as you are about your children. He loves them and all that but his attention can’t be totally taken by them like you. He still needs you and your attention even after you gave birth to dozen of kids.

If you are a husband of one wife, remember, a mother can easily lay down her life for her children. Understand and acknowledge this mother instinct and the love and care your wife has for her children. She loves to nurture and protect her children. She cares about you too but if you don’t help her around the house, appreciate her mother-wife role, and make life easy for her so she can have time to think about you, you will lose her heart. And if you continue doing that, focusing on fulfilling your desires and meeting all your needs, you may win the battle today but you may ultimately and successfully lose the war tomorrow. So, be wise. ///