A4P Guest: I am 27 years old. I met this man in my church. I am in our church choir and he is involved in other different ministries in the same church. I first was not interested in him but after we talked on the phone for sometimes, I developed feeling for him. Then we started seeing each other at least once or twice a week, in addition to seeing each other in church once or twice a week. He knows what I like and he surprises me with a gift. I mean, Missy, will you blame me if I deeply fall in love with this man?
A4P: No, I won’t. Go on, tell me more.
A4P Guest: But after we’ve seen each other for a year, one day I asked him, “So, what is the deal with us? What are we thinking?”
A4P: I don’t understand. Why did you ask him like that?
A4P Guest: Because he’s never officially asked me out. Everybody in our church thought that we were dating. I mean, I thought that too. He texts me like three or four times a day, Missy. He takes me to a nice restaurant where we sit and talk and talk for two or three hours. He showers me with different gifts.
A4P: Wow! So, you waited for one full year to ask him this question?
A4P Guest: I know!
A4P: Okay, what did he say?
A4P Guest: You don’t believe if I tell you this but he said, “You didn’t know that I am engaged with a girl who lives in another country? She is actually coming this week and we will get married in three weeks.”
A4P: No, he did not say that!
A4P Guest: Oh, yes, he did! On my face!
A4P: Did you faint or scream or what did you do?
A4P Guest: I got up and left. I didn’t know what I was doing.
A4P: I am so sorry! This is terrible. But what is your question for me?
A4P Guest: Well, after that incident, I went home and called him and said, “I don’t want you to call me again and I don’t want to see you again” and I hang up the phone. I blocked his phone number and unfriended him from my Facebook. Now he is calling me asking me to forgive him. I told him that I’ve forgiven him but he said that he wanted to see me as a friend. He is driving me nuts. What do you advise him?
A4P: What? He is so funny. Call his fiancée and tell her that her man is not leaving you alone. In that way you will help him to forget you. But by the way, it is not only his fault but yours too. So, make sure you always remember this story so you won’t repeat it.
If a man doesn’t make his intention clear to you early on, don’t waste your time with him.
So, learn from your mistake and whenever you get a chance, share this piece of your story with other young men and women so they too won’t make such a terrible mistake. ///