A4P Guest: Missy, my husband always says that I don’t play with him that much.
A4P: Oh. How does he want you to play with him?
A4P Guest: You know, he tends to play with me, I mean, flirt with me but I think it is not appropriate.
A4P: Tell me more. I mean, what is “inappropriate” kind of playing for you?
A4P Guest: I am a mother of one child and I am a wife. I am not his girlfriend but his wife. So, I don’t like playing with him. I mean, we’re married, aren’t we?
A4P: Hold on a second, if I understand you correctly, you’re saying that you don’t want to “play” with your husband, because you don’t want him to kiss and touch you in a suggestive way (sexual kind of touch) outside the bedroom because you don’t want to show any that sort of affection outside the bedroom, am I right?
A4P Guest: Yes. Even in the bedroom, I don’t think it is appropriate.
A4P: So, who does your husband have to play with that sort of game? He doesn’t have a girlfriend, does he? And you don’t want him to have one, do you?
A4P Guest: What do you mean?
A4P: Glad you ask. What I mean is this: If you want your husband to be “a one-woman” kind of man (as the word of God is calling him to be), you have to be willing to “play-love” with him. My assumption is, (pardon my assumption, you can correct me if I’m wrong), that you came from a family where “sex” and/or “opposite sex relationships” were constantly condemned.
A4P Guest: I mean, my parents are born-again Christians and they raised me well. I didn’t sleep around before marriage or anything.
A4P: That is wonderful and many of us can’t say that about our lives. So, good for you! And I appreciate your parents for doing such a good job with you. But all I’m saying is that the relationship you have now with your husband is approved by God. God doesn’t hold anything against you for flirting with your man. As long as you and your husband won’t do and say things that dishonor one or both of you, your sexual affections you and your husband express to one another are holy. I’m sure your husband is not asking you to do anything that dishonors you but I believe he is just asking you to welcome his sexual affections he has for you. I understand that you’re not open to this kind of thing. But for the sake of your husband and marriage, learn about biblical and holy ways of relating with your husband.
I’m glad you saved yourself for your husband. I applaud you for it but you’re still saving yourself and I’m not sure who you’re saving yourself to. God is on your husband’s side in this regard. So, my advice for you is this: Read one wonderful book written by Tim and Beverly LaHaye called “The Act of Marriage” and its subtitle is “The Beauty of Sexual Love.” The authors are husband and wife (they’ve been now married for more than 40 years). They are very spiritual people, means you have nothing to worry about when it comes to their advice. All their advice, insights and ideas about marital sexual love are based on the word of God. And also, please, try to attend marriage seminars in your area. I see that you live in a town where many marriage seminars are taking place. So, for instance, check out the Family Life Today website and reserve your seat for one of their upcoming marriage seminars. Knowing the word and the truth of God will set you and your marriage free. ///