A4P Guest: “I’ve been married for the past five years and I have two little kids. My husband and I don’t communicate that much and we always argue. I’m struggling to respect him and he is struggling to show me any sort of love. I can hardly remember a day that I enjoyed my life with him. I was in love with him when we were dating and then I will say, after about three months into our marriage, we began arguing for every little thing and disagreements. I always decide to be the first one to stop but I always find myself in the middle of a heated argument. What do you advise me to do?”

A4P: When two completely different people get married and start their life together, they have to have some disagreements and conflicts here and there. As they stick to their commitments and promises to stay together, they both grow out of their selfish way doing life.

A4P Guest: But we both thought that we had a similar background and common interests that we wouldn’t have any problem in our marriage. I am not sure what happened.

A4P: I applaud you for looking for the source of this problem instead of pointing your fingers at your husband as if he is the only person in your marriage. Good for you!

But I have one quick question for you. You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to. When I checked your Facebook profile, I saw many beautiful pictures of you and your husband. They are nice pictures. I love them. And you’ve been posting these pictures with lots of “I love you honey” messages. Do you say these things to your husband as often as you are posting them on Facebook?

A4P Guest: No, I don’t. I just want to keep a positive attitude about my marriage and I don’t want others to think that I’m struggling in my marriage.

A4P: It is good that you decided to keep a positive attitude, but your positive attitude is more needed in your private life than public. By portraying on social media a false marriage that doesn’t exist, you won’t solve your marital problems which have a potential to impact negatively all areas of your life. The only thing you may gain, if any, out of posting on social media things that are very far from the truth is this: You may become resistant to face realities and the truth, because no one can hide it for long, will come out in the open and make you sour and bitter which in turn will fill your heart with pride and hatred. So, be very careful.

And my dear sister, everybody is struggling to make it in this life one way or another; and don’t try to be a kind of human being that doesn’t exist on this planet.

Well, if I were you, this is what I would do (in a way, this is my advice): I would take a long break from social media and focus on myself and try to figure out what “I” can do to change my marriage for the better.

And your positive attitude will benefit you here greatly. “I will be a good wife to my husband and a good mother to my kids. But saying this won’t do me any good! So, I will get up and do the hard work of training myself to be that person! I know God will help me.”

To help you do this, read, study and meditate Proverbs 31:10-31

Take these first baby steps and see if you make any progress. ///