As a young bride who had no mentor in her life, I used to struggle with the feeling of independence. Whenever my Berhan (my husband) suggested something that didn’t agree with mine, I would say, “Oh, well, that is what you think; and this is what I think and I will do it my way and you can do it your way. I don’t need to listen to you and I don’t need your approval for doing it on my own way.”
Talk about being a knucklehead, I was “it” in full measure.
A4P Guest: I’m 35 years old and my wife is 30. We’ve been married five years. She was my first one and I’m her first. I’m miserable now. I feel like I waited so long for nothing because my wife doesn’t satisfy me in the bedroom and I don’t enjoy my marriage at all. I’m suffering. Isn’t suffering a ground for divorce? Do you think God wants me to stay in this marriage where I suffer day and night?
A4P: I believe with all my heart that God wants you to stay in your marriage because God didn’t design marriage to make you happy but holy, just like Christ. That means, suffering comes with “the package” called marriage.
A4P Guest: “I’m 30 years old with two little children, and I’ve been married for the past five years. I love Jesus Christ with all my heart and soul and mind. I want to live and die for Him alone. I know that the life I live now is a temporary one, not a permanent one. Knowing this truth helps me to consider my present sufferings and pains lightly. I met my husband at one of my family’s gatherings. He came to the party with one of my uncles. To make a long story short, I decided to marry him within a year thinking that I was in love with him; I think I was. I knew all along that my husband was around 18 years older than me but I didn’t care that much about it. Everybody advised me to revise my decision but I listened to nobody, not even to my mom. I also once overheard one of his friends say to him,
“For the joy set before Him He (Jesus) endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2b) ///
Yesterday in the middle of a conversation about ministry and all, one young, vibrant preacher and pastor I know said, “I once heard a preacher say, ‘Character is not how you act, but how you react.’”
It took me a while to grasp the meaning.
I personally don’t rush into agreeing or disagreeing with a saying, especially those short ones, before I give it some thinking because I know that most of those short sayings come from those brilliant thinkers with a fine mind. So, I usually turn to my dictionary whether the wordings they use to formulate their thoughts seem familiar to me or not.
A4P Guest: “After I read what you posted yesterday, “I thought I loved her but – – -,” I decided to inbox you my question. Before I do that though, let me give you a background story. I’m one of the ministers in our local church. I work more in counseling than preaching. Right now, it’s been two and half months since I’ve been counseling one young man, 27 years old. He came to me seeking help after one girl accused him of making her pregnant. She is three months pregnant now. Then another woman came, saying she is seven months pregnant from him. Then the third one came after a week or so saying the same man was the one who made her pregnant a year ago but she had a miscarriage. These three women want to marry him saying that they were virgins when he convinced them to sleep with them. The young man didn’t deny any of these stories. I sat down with each one of these girls telling them that the man was not ready to marry them; but they didn’t seem to listen to me. Four of these people are our church members. The girls’ age is between 25 and 27. The young man has now a change of heart, I witnessed the change myself; so did other ministers who work with me. He promised to take the responsibility of raising his kids in everything he can. He even wrote a letter stating his promise and sent a copy of that letter to each one of the pregnant girls and to the church. He promised to go above and beyond the child support money he is required to pay. I told him that these three women want to marry him. He just said, “I will do what you tell me to do.” Well, what should I tell him to do? I know I can’t advise him to marry three of them because of what Genesis 2:21-24 says. I don’t think I can apply the law found in Deuteronomy 22:28-29 & Exodus 22:16-17 either. What should I do then?”
