I was in a kitchen this past Tuesday night, trying to fix dinner. My little one, Biruk, came from downstairs, holding a big white envelop on his hand that was full of pictures. He had a smile on his face and some sadness.
I’m like, “What is that?”
His big brother was sitting on the coffee table and he asked him,
“What are those pictures?”
He showed him one picture of his when he was six or eight months old. He then brought the picture to me. I was very happy to see it after a long time. Then Biruk took another picture out from the envelope and showed me. It was a picture of my Berhan (my hubby) and me, 20 years ago.
I mean, I love that picture a lot and it brings lots of good memories to mind; but what caught my attention was not the picture but my son’s sad face. So, looking at the picture, I asked, “This is beautiful! Wow! But what’s wrong with you? You don’t seem to like it?”
Staring at the picture, he replied, with a low voice, “No, mom, I love it! It is just that you were attractive back then.”
I stopped what I was doing and cleared my throat, then asked him a question, with a stern voice,
“You were what?”
My older son, without looking at us, said, “Mom, I believe that you are still attractive!” And he turned to his little brother and gave him a look that says, “Dude, are you crazy?”
Then my little one, who is very close to his mama, smiled and hugged me tight and said, “Mom, you know that I don’t mean to say that you are not attractive now. I’m just saying, you’ve always been attractive today as you were back then. That is all!”
Much better! I said with a deep sigh.
You see, those of us mothers, who are blessed with boys, are responsible to teach these young men, who are soon to be husbands of one woman, how to speak to a woman. We have to teach them that we women (most of us) know our physical flaws but we don’t want to hear about them and about our aging process from others; especially from men.
Listen how a wise man speaks to his woman:
“How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
descending from the hills of Gilead.”
And he goes on to admiring her teeth and lips and all, and at the end he said,
“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” (Song 4:1-7)
Did you hear that? “No flaw in you!” – It means, “My love sees no flaw in you whether you are 18 or 81, or whether you are 120lbs or 200lbs!”
This passage alone should give you the short rundown of what a woman wants to hear from her man. Do I need to tell you how this man’s wife responded back to him? I don’t think so.
So, our sons need to learn this lesson when they are young. Otherwise they will be like those people who have lost the map of this world.
One mother said, “After my son got married, within three months, he moved back with me because he said to his wife, “You’re gaining weight; you need to start eating salad, fruit and vegetables.”
OMG! What’s wrong with him!
Yeah, teach your son what to say and what not to say to a woman. Don’t wait until he turns 35 because by then, he might be in his third marriage.
Let me say this to you, young men, who might be reading this:
Please, don’t try to understand this part of a woman’s life. Just accept it and be wise to honor it, but only if you have a plan to live with a woman peacefully. ///