I am extremely excited to begin this next section, which speaks directly to husbands — and begins with this simple yet profound command: “Husbands, love your wives.” It is short and straightforward, isn’t it? But there is much for us to unpack.
I am especially eager to reflect on this passage because it offers us a glimpse of the love of God for us, which has been revealed through His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ.
If this is your first time reading this series, no problem. You can scroll down a bit and read the previous posts to catch up.
Last time, we concluded our reflection on Ephesians 5:22–24. Today, we turn to Ephesians 5:25–33.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’
This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:25–33, (ESV)
At first glance, it simply commands husbands to love their wives. But when you read that, don’t you wonder: why does God need to command husbands to love their wives? After all, most husbands marry a woman they already love and have chosen to marry. Shouldn’t it be natural and easy for them to love the wife they’ve already loved, right?
Well, it is not that simple.
No man can love his wife in “this way” —the way God calls him—unless he has an intimate relationship with God through Christ. The love God is commanding here is agape love — unconditional, self-sacrificial love, the very kind of love Christ demonstrated on the cross. Jesus gave up His life for the “woman” He chose and loved so that He would make her His own (Ephesians 5:27).
The Bible declares, “God is love.” (1 John 4:8)
Love is not merely one of God’s attributes; it is His very essence. He is the only true source of love.
Today, the word love is often used to describe anything from “this makes me comfortable” to “this makes my life better, so I like it.” But this is not the love that God is calling husbands to demonstrate. And “love your wives” is not a suggestion for how to live nicely in marriage — it is a command of God. To ignore or disobey this command is to risk destroying one’s marriage and damaging one’s life.
Since the source of true love is God, husbands have no choice but to continually run to the Source in order to obey this command. It is a command given not only for their own good but for the glory of God. Such husbands cannot be nominal Christians. They must be men who have enthroned Jesus Christ as the Lord of their lives. Otherwise, they are likely to live as the lord of their own lives, obeying their feelings, emotions, and whatever worldly desires they happen to chase.
The Word of God warns:
“For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved.” 2 Peter 2:19b, (ESV)
And again:
“Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey?” Romans 6:16a, (ESV)
Therefore, before a husband says, “I love my wife as the Word of God commands,” he should first ask himself: “Who is the Lord of my life? To whom am I enslaved — to the ruler of this world (the devil and sin), or to the Lord of lords and King of kings, the Lord Jesus Christ?”
The Word of God continues:
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25, (ESV)
Here, God Himself sets the standard to which husbands are called in loving their wives. . . . cont’d ///