Why is it hard for some married man to love their wives?

Many reasons!

Some husbands take their wives for granted and think that it is a waste of time to show any gesture of love to their wives. They ask, “Whether I show her love or not, she won’t go anywhere! So what waste my time!”

Others say, “I didn’t see my dad showing any love to my mom but my parents had a wonderful marriage. My wife now complains because she is watching too much movies.”

Again others say, “I really don’t know how to show love. This is the way I am and my wife married me knowing this part of me. I cannot change even if the Bible says so.”

But the Bible says,

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” Ephesians 5:25 ESV

Very straightforward command, isn’t it?

Why then husbands give many reasons not to love their wives?

The answer is simple!

Sin, mainly selfishness!

Sin makes a man too selfish to think about his needs, desires and comfort 24/7. He and his needs, desires and comforts are at the center of his world. And it is unthinkable for him to consider anybody else, including his wife and kids.

What will he do when he desires sex?

No problem! According to him, he is the king of the universe and his desires have to be met or else the house will be on fire?.

And when this kind of man marries a woman who has no clue about the word of God but only knows two verses: “God hates divorce” and “Wives, submit to your own husbands,” he uses and abuses her for the rest of her married life.

Forget about her children. Since the man of the house is always ready to be served, it is unthinkable for him to serve or care for any of his children either. He expects his wife to do everything related to children.

For “his kingship” to last, he threatens his wife and kids with anger, as if to say, “I will shout at you if you guys bother me.”

However, a man who is intimate and close to Christ, the first thing he learns from Christ is not how to speak in tongues or how to publish a CD album or heal the sick but how to love his wife.

You see, God is light and whoever claims to live with God lives in the light (1 John 1:5). Living in the light means living in the truth of the word of God.

So for the man who struggles to love his wife, my advice is this: Ask your wife how she wants you to love her. Then listen to her carefully without correcting her and love her accordingly.

But for the man who is not loving his wife and tries to justify his unlovable manners and characters, my advice is this: Know Christ.

If he claims to already know Christ, it is good to remind him that he does not know Christ the way he’s supposed to.

If he goes to a kind of church where the teaching is always all about how much money one can get from God by first giving to church and how a person can be free from all sicknesses, it is good to advise that person first to go to a Bible believing and Bible preaching church where he can learn who Christ is.

Knowing Christ is the key for a good marriage. ///