You have no idea how many messages I receive from young people who ask me like this:

“How can I find my soulmate?”

You know what they are asking? They are asking where they can find a person that they can marry and live happily ever after with!

I don’t blame them. I mean, they are scared to fall into the cracks others fell into, divorce.

What they don’t know is this: A good marriage isn’t something they find by finding that perfect mate or by finding a marriage that falls down from heaven; rather a good marriage is something they make on this earth.

Gary Thomas (my favorite author, his new book called “Loving him well” – the new edition of “Sacred Influence” – written mainly to wives) puts this idea this way in his book called “Sacred Marriage”:

“A good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make.”

Some young people seem to be conditioned to think that they have to be supernaturally blessed by God by good marriage and live happily ever after or they are doomed to go through divorce.

And some young married people secretly struggle with a thought that they got the wrong spouse and they’ve missed their soulmate. So, they think that they can do nothing about their marriage problems.

But if we see marriage like a garden, we won’t get a problem understanding this concept of “a good marriage is made here on earth.”

I mean, have you ever seen a beautiful garden that came down directly from heaven?

None of us have! Am I right?

Then think about it. When we are unwilling to work hard on our garden, we will end up with a garden that is infested with all kinds of weeds and bugs and at the end, the garden itself has to be destroyed so it won’t cause any more problems to the neighboring gardens.

If you are single, work hard for your future marriage today. One way you can do that is by reading good marriage books written by authors such as Gary Thomas and striving to prepare yourself to be the kind of spouse God calls you to be. Stop praying to find godly and good spouse. Be that good and godly spouse-to-be first and God will help you find that godly and good spouse-to-be next. When you find a person to marry, make sure you take premarital classes, not for a day or 30 minutes but at least for 3 months before your wedding day and take these classes with your spouse-to-be.

If you are married, instead of Googling about how to live as a divorced person, look places or people you can go to find help and hope for your marriage because there is no hopeless marriage. Did you hear me? Yes, with Christ, even the dead will rise up and walk!  Praise the LORD! ///