“Really? Do men have a fear of women?”

Well, it depends on who you ask this question to.

If you ask married men, most of them laughingly tell you all about it. If you ask single men, most of them choose to lie straight to your face and avoid the topic because they are in the middle of fighting against that same fear you are asking them about. They think that fear is something that is only appropriate for kids and women to feel, not “macho men”.  

Most men, if not all, report that at one point, or many, in their lifetime, they’ve experienced a “fear of women”.

I wish they were like that throughout their lifetime. (That is a joke!)

Many single men choose to fight with a giant and die right there than approaching a girl to ask her out or ask a girl’s hand in marriage and be rejected.

Why?

Well, I believe that this fear has something to do with a natural phenomenon. God didn’t create a man for a woman; rather, He created a woman for a man (1 Corinthians 11:9) and God warned him saying, “It is not good for a man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) That means the burden of finding a girl and convincing her to marry him belongs to a man and he is scared to fail at this major life project to deal with all those “not good” stuff God warned him about.

Some men think that they can escape all the “not good” things by sleeping around or cohabiting. That is like watching entertainment TV shows to get away with a physical atrophy.

More often than not, a man who is not scared to talk to a girl is considered funny and becomes the most likable individual by most men. Why? Duh! He is a hero; he dares to do the very things that many men dread to try. (Many men report, in fact, that they choose to drink alcohol to dare to talk to a girl.)

Some men, let me add, “Christian” men, advise their male friends saying, “Educate yourself online and visit a prostitute at least once and you won’t have this fear again.”

This is like advising a man who has a fear of lions saying, “Wash your body with restroom sewage and your fear of lions will dissipate.”

Laughable!

When a young man chooses to keep himself away from sexual sin, he, in a way, chooses to deal with only one woman and this, rightly so, can be a scary journey. What if a girl rejects him? Oh, that actually is the major reason most men fear to approach a girl. They don’t wanna be rejected.

But one thing a man tends to forget is this: As long as he aligns his ways with God, God is on his team. That means he doesn’t have to deal with the girl in a way that blows the air out of his lungs. God protects him from finding himself in a situation where he chooses to shoot himself in the head. God orchestrates things for him in a way that he survives the scariest experience.

Some men report that the first girl they had ever dared to speak to became their wives and that they have a good memory of that daring moment where their forehead was covered with sweat.

If you are a single Christian man reading this, listen to me very carefully.

Your focus shouldn’t be on how to convince a girl to like you, but your focus should be on how to be a man of character, a man of his word; a man who knows how to control his “own body in a way that is holy and honorable” (1 Thessalonians 4:4).

Then God who created you and who sees everything you’re going through will make a way for you. He alone knows how to bring out the hero in you at the right place, at the right moment.

Don’t follow the pagan’s rule: “A girl will despise you if you don’t know what to do with her. So make sure you practice with easy girls, watch some video clips online, and prepare yourself.”

There is no physical practice and preparation needed, my dearest. When God created you, He gave you everything you need. What you need to seek after is God and His righteousness, and the rest will fall into its place in the most marvelous way possible (Matthew 6:33).

And hear this: God protects you from a girl who demands you to be the person you are not. This means, God will give you a girl who is willing to go with you to the adventurous land of knowing and enjoying each other.

No girl can teach you about the nature of your wife but your wife. Your wife is not a car but a human being, fashioned only to you to complement you. It is the same with you. No man can teach your wife about you but you alone.

Let me bring this to a close: God is always right. His ways are always the only ways that give you peace and joy. So, choose to do life according to His ways, and you will never regret. ///