A4P Guest: Why are women not interested to talk deep things, always interested to talk the simple funny things? Is there an approach I need to have so that a girl I’m approaching will open up to talk the hard talk, I am not good with the funny cookie stuff! Any idea!

A4P: LOL! I love it! First, thank you so much my dear brother for allowing me to share your question with all my Facebook fans!

So, for those of you single men out there who may have similar question, this is my take on the matter:

If you are a serious man,  taking everything in life as if you are a top executive officer who investigates, for example, how ISIS does its jihad work in the world, believe me, no woman wants to be with you, let alone to open up and talk about those “hard to talk” topics with you.

If you talk to her on the phone or sit with her for a cup of coffee and want to ask her things like, “How many men did you date so far?” Or, “Were you sexually active with your previous boyfriend?”, forget it! 

If she is one of those “rare to find girl,” with a good intention to marry a man for life, she won’t waste another minute with you because remember most girls are not looking for a man who wants to investigate on them but a man who loves them as they are. Don’t ever forget that.

Generally, most women find it easy to relate to a man who makes them laugh (I said “generally”, means it can’t be applicable to all – some girls love to hear a man talk for ten hours how scientists came up with pie square. Yeah, we all are different). 

So, if you don’t have some sense of humor, you may need to work a little bit hard to know woman’s nature and intention. 

BTW, when I say “funny,” I am not talking about trying to make jokes out of everything you see in life. That, at times, can be a very offensive thing to do since you may sometimes cross the line for the purpose of making others laugh. That can take away your “attractiveness” in a split second.

All I’m saying is this: a man with a little loosened up spirit is a fun person most girls want to hang out with. That doesn’t mean, again, a guy who on the first date stretches his arms to hug the girl or calls her in her nickname by which her mom calls her. That again can be a little turn off for some women. 

If you think interviewing a girl is a way to know her and about her, you’ll miss the mark big time. You can’t know a girl by interviewing her but by showing her that you are interested in her; and by letting her know that she is the most attractive girl in town. Then, if she is interested in you or if she is not with someone else, she may open up in ways you may sometimes feel like telling her something like, “That is too much information.” 

Just know and accept a girl as a person and enjoy who she is, what she is telling you whether it is boring or funny. Just listen to her and you don’t have to dig deep. Then before you know it, she starts to tell you everything you want to know about her. But before she gets to that level, she wants to know if you are real.

BTW, most “good girls” don’t open up with every man they meet. They tend to play around while they are studying the guy if he is there to win their body or heart.

Hey, God didn’t create us all the same. Some men are very funny but some are hopelessly not funny. But that doesn’t mean that those with no sense of humor will be singles forever. All they have to do is to learn how to loosen up a bit; humble themselves to the point of not seeking the woman to open up but to be herself; which is beautiful and complicated!

And when you find that girl you like and love, you will receive favor from God because God’s Word says so:

“He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22 ///