A4P Guest: I am married and have one child but I am not happy with my marriage.
A4P: Uh-oh! What’s going on with your marriage?
A4P Guest: My husband doesn’t listen to me.
A4P: Hmm! Give me some example.
A4P Guest: We agreed for me to stay home and raise our kid while he works full time. When he comes home from work, I ask him to spend time with me but he is always on his phone talking with his friends, or watching TikTok. We used to pray together but not anymore. Now I feel so lonely. When I ask him to go with me for counseling, he says, “You are the one who needs counseling, not me.”
A4P: Ouch! That is not good!
A4P Guest: I know! He doesn’t care for me or for the marriage.
A4P: Did he say, he doesn’t care?
A4P Guest: He doesn’t need to. His actions say so.
A4P: How long you two have been married?
A4P Guest: Four years.
A4P: Was he ever been the kind of man you wanted him within these four years?
A4P Guest: Never! He’s always been like this since day one. He always says, “I have nothing to talk about.”
A4P: Then I think you are the one who needs counseling so you accept the man you marry. I know, you maybe upset with me for saying that but let me explain. The man you married might not be the kind of guy you imagined. Your idealized man might be your enemy here. You compare your man with your “idealized or romanticized husband.” Your idealized man may love to talk but not your real husband.
A4P Guest: But my husband has no problem when it comes to sex.
A4P: Aren’t you happy and thankful for that?
A4P Guest: But I want him to talk to me and be close to me first before he runs for sex.
A4P: You’re absolutely right. But your man may grow loving you the way you want him to love you but not by complaining and whining about his nature.
A4P Guest: Then how?
A4P: Good question!
Do life as if you were not married.
Pray and be close to God! Have an intimate relationship with the word of God. Find other mothers that you can take your kids out for a walk with. Plan your day as if you had a full time job. You’re raising the next generation. That is even more than a full time job. So plan out your day in a way that you won’t find time to cry about your marriage. Exercise! Enjoy life and have fun! Be thankful about your life and marriage! It is because your husband works full time that you’re able to stay home. He says, stay home and raise our kids. Many men won’t say that to their wives, but your husband gave you this precious gift, to raise your own child. Because of that your child won’t wonder from one day care to another. And your husband doesn’t go to another woman, but comes to you. So instead of pushing him away when he comes to you for sex, celebrate him. When he goes and does his own TikTok, celebrate your life. Believe me in this: No man can resist a woman who is independently happy and fulfilled in her life. A woman who complains and tells her man where he is failing her always leads a lonely life. Show him that you don’t need him for you to be happy! After all, this is the truth of life: No man can be a source of joy and happiness to his woman. ///