Quick Advice to A Divorce Woman

There is this myth that some people talk about as if it was an absolute truth: “2nd marriage is always better.” When you ask them how or why, they say, “You learn how to choose the right person from your first mistake.”

Well, that can be true in the case of missing an exit when we drive a car. Even in that case, we sometimes unconsciously and mindlessly take that same but wrong exit more than once, don’t we?

You see, marriage is completely different from driving a car or flying an airplane. We can actually get better at marriage when we stay with the same person through thick and thin of life.

The word of God says,

“Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10:9 NKJV

According the truth of God, we know that marriage has only an entrance, no exit.

However, we cannot deny the fact that divorce happens in this broken world because of many reasons, one of which being “sexual immorality,” as Jesus said, “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9 NKJV

If one divorces without any biblical ground, it is a sin but it is not an unpardonable sin. God forgives all our sins, praise God! The word of God says,

“My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world.” 1 John 2:1-2 NKJV

But knowing that we sinned against God and asking God to forgive our sins cannot make “divorce” right. There is no right thing with divorce and there is no benefit and blessing in divorce.

If you are a divorced woman because of many unfortunate reasons, please:

  1. Seek counseling

Counseling can help you see clearly the truth of God about marriage and divorce; in that way, you will learn from your past mistakes and work to strengthen your spiritual life.

  1. Avoid victim mentality

“People, who constantly blame other people or situations for the events in their lives, have a victim mentality.” This is like blaming your ex- for the divorce, seeing yourself as just a victim. Victim mentality prevents you from taking responsibility and work on yourself.

  1. Avoid unnecessary sorrows or guilts

According to the Bible there are two kinds of guilt feelings, one leads to repentance and the other leads us to death: “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” 2 Corinthians 7:10 NIV

Godly sorrow always says,

“Against you [LORD], you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.” Psalm 51:4 NIV

Worldly sorrow says, “If I didn’t do that mistake, this wouldn’t happened to me. Why did I do that?” This only leads to depression and sadness.

  1. Avoid myth

Don’t buy into worldly myths such as, “Second marriage is always good.” That is a devil’s lie. A number of secular research results have shown repeatedly that the secret of having a happy marriage is to do marriage once with one person and work hard to make it work to the end. Comfort yourself only with the truth of God, not with worldly myths.

  1. Tell the truth to others

Once you know the truth about marriage and divorce, even if you’re divorced, mentor and guild other young people with the truth of God. Don’t preach the truth of God according to your life experiences but according to the word of God. Divorce destroys families and devastates the next generation.

  1. Strive to do what God says do

The word of God says this to the woman who is divorced or departed from her husband:

“Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not

Divorcing this man and marrying another may not bring any change in life because we all came from the same fallen couple, Adam and Eve. Unless we can successfully bring another human being from a different planet, we all are fallen creatures. Help young people to see this truth clearly.

  1. Honor others’ marriage –

The word of God says, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4 NKJV – Don’t make your door open to a married man to come and spend time with you in the name of “he is fixing my broken faucet.” If he is married, let him come with his wife or say no. Why? Even if you’re divorced, you still honor others’ marriages because you honor the Author of marriage, God.

  1. Don’t lose your common sense

If you’re divorced, and probably being hurt from the first marriage, you may find yourself being easily attracted and feeling sorry for men who went through a divorce and you may tend to believe every story you hear. A divorced man or a man who wants to divorce his wife and marry you can tell you any story. Remember, if he hurts another woman, he will definitely hurt you. So, when he tells you that he got hurt by ten women because he was so godly, run away from him. Your common sense should tell you to do this unless you completely lost your common sense. ///